Hello rhiasofia, Racket here to review this marvelous poem.
I really love this poem. There is a sophistication that I don't believe I could ever achieve. Your meaning is so clear, and yet not. At a first glance you wonder, is this about someone, or about time? At a second glance, more of a reading, you can tell that this is about a person, and since on of your genres is romance, I'll believe this is a love poem. The only flaw in this poem that I can see is that it is hard to identify the meaning of it.
I really loved the lines:
"The childish notion takes me,
shakes me, and never lets me go."
This is a really nice way of describing what is going on inside. I believe I can hypothesize, but I am not entirely sure of the "childish notion" is here. This part needs perhaps a bit more description, though if you are the mystery type, it works well in making the reader guess.
I noticed when reading the part quoted above that not all of your lines are capitalized. This is not a necessary thing, but it is more natural and fairly common in poetry. I believe you should look into the option of capitalizing the first letter of every line. I see that you capitalized the first letter of every sentence, which is good, but, as I said, it is more natural in poetry to capitalize every line.
As a pet peeve of mine, I noticed that your final stanza's sentence starts with 'But'. This is grammatically incorrect, though I do not know if it is in poetry. I find it hard to avoid starting sentences with 'but' as well, though you should try to avoid it.
That's it! Three mistakes, two of which are barely noticeable pet peeves. (I absolutely loved the description of this piece!) Congratulations on a magnificent piece of literature, and I cannot wait to read more! Happy Review Day!!
~Racket
Points: 2485
Reviews: 132
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