Young Writers Society

Hello, I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love how ,,easy'' it goes of your tongue when you read it out loud. It really gives me quite a summery feeling, I'll sure come back to read it again whenever I'm cold hahah. OH yes, i also really loved how you personalized summer. GIves the whole thing a very personal touch.

Nice poem! I sure wish it actually was summer time lol!

Rx here to comment, since .-. my reviews has been ripped from me by previous *coughs* rippers.

There's already so many reviews and they've already snatch everything I want to say. So, I will just say, this is a really beautiful poem. Simple and light-hearted but describes summer so well.

Awesome!

I really like the style of this poem, is very simple yet it paints a beautiful imagery of summer. There really isn't any grammatical mistakes except you should have used a capital 'I' in 'how I like your moonlight ray'

Also, since I really couldn't say anything else. I will point out some of my favourite points in this poem.


I love your repetitive use of 'sweet summer, sweet summer'. It really makes the reader think about how sweet summer is.

The rhyme works beautifully too,

'the smell of the colorful roses,

caressing my nose'

But my favourite had to be:

'how i like your moonlight ray

With the stars silver bright'

Those two sentences paints an amazing imagery of how soft and bright the moon and stars are.

keep up the good work!

-L

Hey Tiny here!

Okay I searched the deep depths of your poem and couldn't find any errors so I have rewarded you with a bolding of my favorite lines and use of words.

Sweet summer

It's summer time ,

In the country side , on a mound.

The sun is up , gently smiling to everyone,

And the birds are singing around.

Ohh sweet summer, just stay…

The fresh floating breeze ,

hugging me with its warm hands

the smell of the colorful roses,

caressing my nose.

and the crystal water,

shining over there.

Sweet summer, sweet summer

Just stay…..

how i like your moonlight ray

With the stars silver bright ,

in an amazing night …..

Ohh sweet summer just stay

Thank you for the adorable poem making me hate winter allover again

Keep writing

You gave me a sense of what you felt. People can give you pointers on different things, but i think you know you achieved what you wanted . Well done, I felt what you were trying to portray and it was done very well. Thank you.

Hey Smile!
Firstly i would like to say that your poem is amazing!
I love summer and you have managed to capture the essence of summer in your poem.
I love this stanza:

"how i like your moonlight ray

With the stars silver bright ,

in an amazing night …..

Ohh sweet summer just stay"

But here are some small nitpicks:
1) Maybe you could have capitalized the first letter of every line. It enhances the poem more according to me

2) I didn't quite get the rhyming structure of this poem. Some words are rhyming but the others aren't.

But over all this is a really amazing poem! simple yet sweet! i loved it!
Keep up the good work!
--supernb

Hello Smile,

Magenta here to review your poem! Great poem, by the way. Only a couple suggestions for you that I thought could help you. I would like to first suggest capitalizing your "I"s in your sentences because I found that to change the formality of your poem. Maybe you could use a more abstract vocabulary instead of being really direct so that your poem has a strange touch to it. But if you don't want to, that's fine. When you write "ohh" I would suggest writing one "h" instead. It looks a bit odd with two "h"s. "In a country side, on a mound." That part was a little strange for some reason and I thought that you could exclude the part."on a mound". When you wrote "hugging me with its warm hands", I thought you might want to change that to cool hands because a breeze would have cool hands and in the summer time, the heat is extraordinary. I hope to help you. Great job with this poem and continue writing!

- Magenta

Timmyjake to give you a review, Smile!!

This was so beautiful, like quest said. Not life changing, or deep, but light-hearted and happy. I love summer!! The only time in the year that my home state doesn't get flooded in rain!!

Ok, so I have a few nitpicks, but not many!

In the country side , on a mound.

shining over there.

how i like your moonlight ray

With the stars silver bright ,

in an amazing night …..

Ohh sweet summer just stay

Hey! Here to give you a quick first review!
Firstly, good poem. Not life-altering, definently not bad. But certainly good. I liked how each line was structured, you did a good job with that. But lose the punctuation. It breaks up the poem in places that don't look good broken up. I was a little distracted thinking about whether or not there was a rhyming scheme. If there is, strengthen it, if not, consider it. This would be a good poem/subject to have one.
Thats pretty much it. Eliminate punctuation unless you ABSOLUTELY need it, it doesn't look good in poetry normally (in my opinion. I'm not an expert on poetry, as some other reviewers will be).
Keep up the good work,
~Questio~