Those were some simple words you said,
But enough to cure the wounds of my heart.
I was sad that day ,
Felt like fading away,
But you made me stay .
You said i have to hold on ,
And don’t give up on love .
Hey you there ,can you hear me ,
I clicked the botton of restart ,
You’re now the king of my heart .
You have the keys of its tower ,
You have the power ,
So no one will enter again .....
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140,755 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hey Smile, I'm Strange, and I'm going to attempt to pull a quick review due to the lack of the time. I would give a more detail one, but I'm so sorry.
Nonetheless, I really liked this "Other" The idea is a little bit overused, but the lyrics worked well. The idea is simple. "You have my heart forever and ever and no one will take it away." It shows that you're committed to this one person. I liked that. The only problem was the idea. I've seen this before, but for some reason you made it above average. The way you used the "lyrics" and how well it flowed is probably why. Good job, Smile.
Overall, good job
Strange gives you...
7.8/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my friend.
Timmy here for a quick review!!
So this poem, like all of yours, is amazing. Its a wonderful work of art that tells an amazing story! Wonderful job! I like how you portray yourself... and how he holds the key to your heart.
I have a few nitpicks, and I will look at them now!
First off, I would have to point out something very small, but still evident in this work. It is quite redundant, being there after almost every line...
That sums up my nitpicks! Awesome poem, like usual!
~Timmyjake
merci beaucoup
What does that mean?
thanks a lot
cute smile
Good poem, and it is definitely love. I like this poem a lot, and might say to someone. Yeah right, she'd know it wasn't mine the second I started saying it. lol Okay so I really do like this poem, but not a couple of spots in it. So I'm going to address those.
"You said i have to hold on" Capitalize "I"
"I clicked the botton of restart" should be button, and you can keep of restart, it sounds a little weird to me, but I suppose it is okay.
"You have the keys of its tower" Should be "keys to its tower."
Nitpicks really, but as to what I was saying about the Button of restart, it could've been different. You could have made it, "I clicked the button to restart." Of course leaving it the way you wrote it, and making the spelling error would be fine.
I really did enjoy your poem, I'm sorry I'm not much help, but I hope I still helped. The poem covers love perfectly, and you really did a good job. Thanks for the great piece, and I can't wait to see more. Until next time, Happy writing!
Cheers,
Deadman XD
thank you
Anytime.
Well, this is exactly what love is. Extremely well written, very likable poem, im guessing. You have very good metaphors. Well thought out, well written, and very fast. 1
hey thanks