The winter comes again
Bringing back buried memories
Re-opening the old wounds
Engraved on the dark side
Of my tired heart
melted beneath,
Like snowflakes dissociated
When touching the grownd
I want to erase them to be at ease
But they seem to increase
The spring then follow
Treating my heart
Fighting the sorrow
The sun rises in the middle
Of my darkened soul
The flowers of hope and love
Blossoms, not afraid of the fall.
Then comes the summer
My heart gets warm
Shortly burning with love
The fire don't seem to turn off
It's an never end
The fall. When it all falls
The cold breeze takes away
The ashes left from my burned heart
When a new born me comes to life
Passing the levels,
i win, ring the bells.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hi Shikora here with a review.
This was just a lovely peace of work. I really, really liked reading it. The name to this poem was just a right choice for such a lovely peace. I like it how you go through a seasons in the poem slowly and gently. When I read your poem, I feel a peace and calm, when I read it i read it slowly and carefully so I could drink in every word.
I can see that you thought this poem through, and when someone dose that, it comes out really well. I really liked the part about summer. It just made me feel all warm in side.
All I'm trying to say is that I really liked reading this poem, and you should keep up the good work and never stop writing. I hope you have a great day/night.
Your friend
Shikora.
Hey smile .
The poem is very nice , the way you describe it , the mentioning of summer , winter and other seasons , it is quite excellent. There are somethings you can add it , maybe aome lines or some specific words but i also love some words you have used.
"The sun rises in the middle ......... of my darkened soul ."
This line is awsome , i just repeat and repeat it again. However there use of some unnecessary word too but it's okay . Over all , i really like this poem and i really appreciate it.
You can also visit my profile and give your reviews, it will be very inspiring .
thank you so much, i appreciate everything you've mentioned and yeah i'll totally give you some reviews
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Hi smile.
The poem seems nice, withe the concept of winter, spring and summer seasons with your pretty memories and your emotions accomplishing it very well.
Regarding grammatical mistake "the spring then follow" it should "the spring then follows".
Though it's little confusing too and giving only negative effects on above mentioned seasons. Simultaneously, a season provides negative and positive impact on living beings. I may be wrong, but I'd like to add some more stuffs into it.
In season of winter: you can add a little positive emotion like
"the winter comes again"
with dry and numb air,
and with fall of dew,
bringing back the buried memories.
In season of spring : you can add like
" the spring then follows"
with fresh color and fresh air,
treating/cuddling my heart
with bunch of sorrow. and goes on
in the season of summer : again you can add something like
"then comes the summer"
with hot air and ripen fruits
living behind the spring mirage appears
in effect of summer my heart gets warm and goes on.
It depends upon you if you want to add these stuffs it's not mandatory.
Looking towards the story, it is full of emotions and the poem always describes the emotion of an author. So on this point of view it's a nice work. In this poem you have three tale about three seasons, by paragraphing or making stanzas will give another taste of reading to the readers.
"The flowers of hope and love
Blossoms, not afraid of the fall."
This part is a nice one with love hope and concept of flower giving a good accent which i love the most in this metaphor.
I wish, I didn't change the meaning and the beauty of this poem.
Glad to read your poem, keep writing good things.
chinku.