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that night

by smile

Midnight, eyes wide open

Insomnia hits again ,won the bargain

Heart rate flies high, oh the sky is the limit

Sweat mixed with tears

Feeling consumed

Drugged or wasted.

But druggs arn't guilty

For he was her illness

Endless tunnel , or is it a black hole

Ocean of thought , with her drowning

Deeper and deeper,so small

Where are you ? the voice inside wondering

That one sided love,which once was a savior

"Never felt this way with anyone" she said

As staring at her ceilling .

For how it's fading me

wish i never did.

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Points: 8
Reviews: 4

Tue Dec 06, 2022 1:02 am
Parks0311 wrote a review...

This was super good! I found myself being able to relate to this because for me it is sometimes difficult to fall asleep. Thank you so much for writing this. It was very interesting to hear your take on a well known issue. It was nice to see someone take on a deeper meaning than just the surface level interpretation of a condition. Keep up the great work! I look forward to reading more.

smile says...

Thank u %u2764%uFE0F

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11 Reviews

Points: 76
Reviews: 11

Mon Oct 31, 2022 2:35 pm
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crescentmoonprodigy wrote a review...

This is probably just a stylistic thing, but I want to point out the spacing of this poem. I feel like a main theme is losing yourself and the spacing out is kind of the space between reality and what isn't reality. I just think it's really neat. This whole poem just gives me the idea that the narrator is in a haze between an adrenaline rush and the after affects - basically when the party is over (not to reference a certain emo whisper-singer, but I digress.).

My favorite stanza was probably this one;

"Where are you ? the voice inside wondering

That one sided love,which once was a savior

"Never felt this way with anyone" she said"

This is very bittersweet because love, more often than not, is one sided, and sometimes we like to manufacture possibilities that maybe aren't feasible, which just adds to the already established vibe this poem is giving off.

All of this to say; it's beautiful and I love this so, so much.

smile says...

Thank you so much for your review

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1157 Reviews

Points: 132
Reviews: 1157

Sun Oct 30, 2022 2:51 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

It seems like it’s about one single night that changes everything. The night when truth is revealed. It’s lost love and lonely nights. I liked the dark and romantic tone of the poem.

I have a question, though. Did you spell “drugs” and ”aren’t” like ”druggs” and “arn’t” intentionally, for an accent? If so, cool. If not, then that’s okay, because I misspell words a lot too.

I wish you a wonderful time and a happy Halloween!

smile says...

Thanks a lot i appreciate your review %u2764%uFE0F

Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)