I see you walking in
To the stage while you're smiling
The crowd get crazy
Cause you’re so amazing
My heart start beating
Like a fire is heating or,
a thunder is living
Inside me
Suddenly its all about you
Looking and listening to you
Forgot about where i im
Sometimes even who i im.
When,
My heart start beating
Like a fire is heating or
a thunder is living
Inside me......
I may be just a fan,
But baby for me you’re my man
cause you are so magical
Like a beautiful miracle
Loving you is so hard
It's like im chasing a cloud
But i will fight
And say it might
Happen someday…..
I just wanna tell you life is great so live it up
And you are so bright so keep it up
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Canary word: Present
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125,033 Literary Works • 672,912 Reviews
Hi
First, I had no idea who Austin Mahone was, so I looked him up on Spotify. You've officially made a fan out of me
I really like this song because so many teen girls can relate to it. It has a great rhythm and flow.
Nitpicks:
Capitalize the I
No text language
This is just my personal opinion, but I would take the "a" before thunder out of each line like this. To me it would flow better.
This should be-- "Loving you so much is hard."
Nice song! And thanks for introducing me to Austin Mahone
~WallFlower
Greetings and welcome to the site!
Text talk is a no-no! Change that "cuz" to "'cause"
Change sudenly to suddenly and its to it's.
I would definitely consider changing forgot to "I'm forgetting".
Speaking of I'm, or rather, im! I do believe you meant am so I recommend you change that ASAP so it makes more sense to read.
Cut out one of those extra "my"'s and I suggest you combine these two sentences. Unless you're going for an emphasis for the repetition; in that case, combine and add a comma after the first my - "When my, my heart starts beating"
The ellipses is a nice touch! But ellipses only require three dots so remove three of those dots.
You'll need a comma after "me"
Remove that extra word so it makes more sense.
Make sure to correctly capitalize and punctuate pronouns! Change that to "I'm"
Overall, I really enjoyed this! It had a nice flow, something that could become so much better if you fix these errors! I enjoyed it very much. I think you have a nice ring to it, and the ending was especially cute.
You do have a lot of issues with grammar, so make sure you work on that! I noticed you said you're from Algeria, so it's understandable that you're having issues with the English language! So don't worry too bad about it, but do try to work on it and keep learning.
See you around!
~Iggy
Hi there! I love Avril and Austin too :'D
Anyway, onto the review! These are some really good lyrics, but as the other users have both mentioned; just watch out for slight grammar problems, like capitalize your words when needed
This is my favourite verse, it's so cute;
"Sudenly its all about you
Looking and listening to you
Forgot about where i im
Sometimes even who i im"
So yeah. Just fix up those minor issues, and you'll be good to go!
{{ -devigonewild- }}
thanks ....
boohoo!!, this is great.
I'm bee, and this is your review!
firstly, let me start by saying "it's great that you love Avril Lavigne and Austine Mahone, 'cause, i do too!"
i think you should watch your spelling, or was that on purpose?
i know it's lyrical, but for people to understand you, you have to improve on your punctuation.
beautiful expressions used and it was a joy to read. i really want to know how this would sound. it's short so there has got to be a brief moment of sobbing about how cute he is right?
any way, lovely!
i know my spelling isnt good ...im not english or american girl so its kinda hard also french is a second language here not english ...but i will try to make it better
Oh, i understand, good one any way!
Hi, smile! I want to say that I loved your song and austins gotta be so proud of you. I liked how you started and ended this song.
"i see you walking in" Wasn't the i supposed to be capital? Anyways that is probably a typo so don't worry too much about it.
"The crowd get crazy" This sentence is slightly grammatically incorrect- you should change the "get" to "gets".
"My heart start beating" Another minor error- the start is supposed to be plural.
"Loving you is so much hard" I think deleting the 'much' would make it sound so much better.
"But i will fight"
"Its like im chasing a cloud"
For both: its the i situation again.
Anyway, I cant say how much i loved your song and hope to read more of your fantastic songs again.
- Anshira
thank you so much for the comment