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Typo Alley~A Part Two [Revised]

by r4p17


     Racen watched as the two creatures appeared in Typo Alley. Why did the author want then to come here? I mean they are just lowly animals. Not that I have anything against them, but it doesn't seem like they would fit in very well here.

"You will learn that soon enough," the Author said reading Racen's thoughts again. Racen spun round and glared at the author without saying a word. "Giving me the silent treatment are you eh? Well no matter, I can put up with that all day long. It gives me more time to think." He is just ranting! I bet when the readers come to this part of the story they will get real mad at him. "Racen, if you insist on letting the readers know what you are thinking at least you could do them the courtesy of using better grammar. It should be "really" not real."

Racen abruptly turned on her heel and walked away. I don't even know why I put up with that guy. Racen willed that the Author not read her thoughts. Whether this worked, or the author just decided to ignore it she didn't know, but she was glad that he remained silent.

"Hello," Racen said, greeting the two animals. Something told her that they could at least understand what she was saying. She knew that she was safe just so long as the wolf was a not a renegade. Wolves never ate humans unless they were desperate.

"Hello," the wolf said as she bowed his head respectfully. "My name is Wold and this is Katya. She's my friend. We have been sent here to keep you company. What is your name, elf?"

Racen was taken aback. He can actually talk to me? What is this, Narnia? She stood there in a trance like state for a moment until RP spoke for the two of them. This cannot be happening. It's just...insane!

"I am RP417. This is my friend, Racen," Friend? I am not quite sure if that is the right term. "I hope you enjoy your time here! All those who come here are welcome, just so long as they are authentic typo's. We don't let fakes join our club," Club? What club is he talking about?

"You mean you don't have a problem with accepting animals?" Katya said in a higher tone of voice. Her skin began to shimmer. It turned to a light pink. Cool! How does she do that?

"Of course we accept animals. The only requirement is that you are a genuine typo."

"What do you mean by saying that we have to be a typo. What is a typo?" Wold asked.

"A typo is just an error made while writing something down," RP417 said, quite patiently.

"Oh, okay," Wold replied as he stretched. Racen was surprised by how deeply she spoke all the time. I guess it does sort of make sense that wolves would have deep voices; but then again you would think that elephant's would have even deeper voices. I suppose females don't.

"Well what do you think we should do right now?" Racen asked as she fussed with here long silvery hair, so that is was perfectly strait.

Katya began to raise here left foreleg but collapsed in the effort. She sent Wold scurrying out of the way as fell to the ground with a crash which shook the building to the very foundation. The little stool with RP417 was sitting on teetered back and forth, threatening to fall over.

"It seems as if something earth shattering has just occurred," The Author commented dryly.

"Oh I'll be fine," Katya said. "That just shows you what I get for trying to be polite by raising a foreleg before speaking." Everyone, especially Racen, chuckled. I think I will enjoy being around Katya once I get to know here a little better. She seems to be nice and polite, even if she can be a little clumsy at times. Maybe I can help here get acclimated here. Well, that's as soon as I am.

"What was it that you wanted to say?" Racen asked Katya when she had regained her feet.

"Oh, I have forgotten it by now in all the excitement. That is the annoying part about being an elephant. Everyone thinks that we have long memory but it is actually horrible!" Racen could hardly help herself from laughing. An elephant having terrible memory. Now that is something unheard of. Just then the author chimed in with his opinion of what they should do.

"I have an idea that would interest my little dwarf here very much. Why don't you go and look in that closet over there. I think that you will find what is in there to be of interest. Just trust me."

"Not to be rude, but I don't appreciate being called a 'little dwarf.' And I have no idea why I'd be interested in a little closet. I have already looked in there and all I found was some coats."

"Maybe he put some other things in there since then," Racen suggested. "Why else would he tell you to go in there and have a look. The AC in here isn't cold enough to wear a coat is it?"

RP417 shrugged and walked over to the closet, giving Katya a wide berth just to be on the safe side of things. When he opened the closet he gasped and recoiled. Instead of finding coats neatly hung up on hangers he saw a large half open crate. There were several tools inside it.

"By my beard!" He exclaimed. "I'm sure that none of this stuff was here yesterday afternoon."

He reverently took out one of tools and saw a sword of the most perfect workmanship he'd ever seen. For a moment he stood there speechless holding it in his hands. He dared not take it out of its sheath for fear of breaking the steel. The handle was covered by red leather and the hilt was made of polished steel. In the middle of the latter were set two perfectly round balls of jade. At last he summoned the courage to draw the blade out a few inches. The lights of the ceiling above reflected off of the double-edged blade into RP's eyes. He angled a sword away from the light and examined it more closely. He noticed a little trough, so to speak in the blade. In it there were two lines of neatly engraved writing. It reads as follows.

The bearer of this golden blade shall suffer evils to be repaid

But remember the prophecy of Arcade about him who bears the jade

"Why...what could that mean?" RP said stroking his beard. Racen leaned over his head and read the engraved writing. That's strange! It sound so, prophetic.

"It is up for you to you figure out what the meaning of the writing is." The author said, pacing in a broad circle and then coming to a stop. "But I will give you the first clue to send you on your journey. Take a carful look at what is in the crate. When you have done so, start using them to dig your way down into the Story World. You shouldn't have too much trouble getting there. As soon as you arrive you will begin your journey by following the directions on this map. That is all I can tell you for now. Oh by the way; you will come with me, KatyaElefant. I have a special job for you. Now it is time for me to to go. Goodbye!"

With that he handed them a map which he pulled out of his black briefcase and walked toward the large set of double doors with Katya in tow. The elephant turned and waved goodbye.

"See you later Wold. Goodbye RP and Racen. I hope to see you soon. Racen waved.

Well I guess I won't get to know her anymore. Just then something caught Racen's eye. It was the outline of a curved stick protruding from the bottom of the box she pulled and out and saw that it was a recurve bow. She soon found a quiver of arrows to go with it. It's beautiful.

"I guess the author didn't want me to get anything," Wold said dropping her head in shame.

"No, but you will be able to aid us with you acute sense of smell and night vision." RP said.

"That's right!" Racen affirmed. "Now...let's see about these tools!"


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Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:00 pm
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Noelle wrote a review...



Hi there! Noelle back for another Review Day review!

I have to say, this chapter is a lot better written than the last one. I think that's because this one is edited. But I can see a huge difference and it's really good :)

It's a cool strategy you use to have the Author read Racen's thoughts. I mean, I know that the Author knows everything because he (he, yes? xD) knows everything about the characters -- he's the writer after all -- but it really compliments her. She's thinking things a lot instead of saying them out loud. So to have someone who can understand what she's thinking really gives us some communication with her. She does talk as well, but the majority of what she says is most definitely through her thoughts so far. It's very interesting. I've never seen a writing style like that before.

This is just a small grammatical point here. You have the Author's name capitalized, which makes sense because it's his name, but I'm a bit on the fence about whether it should be or not. 'The author' is technically not a proper noun so it shouldn't be capitalized. If his name is actually Author, then that makes sense. Or his name could be The Author. But just capitalizing Author seems a bit out of place to me. I'm no wheres near a grammar expert so if the author's name really should be capitalized, then leave it. I'm assuming there's no other name you're going to be calling him so I figured I'd point it out now.

Racen was taken aback. He can actually talk to me? What is this, Narnia?

First of, hahahahahahaha! xD Second off, I find it strange that Racen thinks the animals wouldn't be able to talk back. She knows that they can understand her so it would only make sense that they could talk back. If not making sense, it would at least be believable. Maybe? I don't know. Maybe she'd be surprised and happy instead, not taken aback. I don't know, with the way things have been going I thought for sure that Racen would've just taken it as it is and accepted that the animals could talk.

This is a great introduction. After reading the two parts together, it works very well. You've given us the characters, you've given them each a purpose, and you've given them an adventure. The rest of the story will grow from here! It's all written very well too. You really took the time to explain everything to us and help us understand who these characters are and what they're going to be doing.

I think you could work on your character development a little bit more. Who couldn't, right? There are always things about characters that us readers want to know. What I feel is missing a bit is their reactions to everything. There are a lot of reactions from Racen, but with RP and now Wold, we don't get a lot of that. Reactions are a great way to show instead of tell with your characters. I want to see them in action, see them becoming their own person right in front of my eyes. You've got a good start with that here. I'll see how you continued it in the next couple of chapters.

Overall I think this beginning is great. Like I said, it's a strong introduction and you really focused on the story for us. We now know what to expect. I, for one, and hoping for this wonderful, large adventure :) Can't wait to read more!

Keep writing!
**Noelle**




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Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:12 am
ChummyJinx wrote a review...



Hi, there!

Haha! I was about to note down that you wrote "real mad" instead of "really mad," but the Author pointed that out soon after.
It's kind of funny how this story's characters are typos, but you have a few technical errors that could be typos. I wondered, while reading, if your errors are intentional.

Why did the author want then to come here?
>>>>"then" instead of "then"

>>>>"strait" should be "straight"

She sent Wold scurrying out of the way as fell
>>>>She sent Wold scurrying out of the way as she fell

with a crash which shook the building to the very foundation.
>>>>with a crash, which shook the building at its very foundation.

The little stool with RP417 was sitting on teetered back and forth
>>>>The little stool under RP417 teetered back and forth

we have long memory but
>>>>we have good memory but

Just then the author chimed in
>>>>Just then, the Author
As in the previous chapter, keep the capital A consistent. You make it lower case several times in this chapter.

all I found was some coats.
>>>all I found were some coats.

he stood there speechless holding
>>>>he stood there speechless, holding

The handle was covered by red leather
>>>>The handle was covered with red leather

It sound so, prophetic.
>>>>comma not necessary

It is up for you to you figure out
>>>>It is up to you to figure out


"See you later Wold. Goodbye RP and Racen. I hope to see you soon. Racen waved.
>>>You forgot the closing quotation mark.

she pulled and out
>>>>take out "and"

you acute sense
>>>>your acute sense

and night vision." RP said.
>>>comma after vision, not period




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Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:20 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey r4p17!

Deanie here to review the next chapter! I am really looking forward to reading the next one! It seems like we have all the characters we're going to meet, at least for now. And I am curious to know where this story is going to take them. It seems like it is going to build the main plot of the book Author is writing xD As well as that, I am so curious to know why Katya has to stay behind... what does Author want with her? I guess the only way for me to find out will be to read on! But you've done a lovely job in this chapter of building up the introduction for the rest of the story. The weapons sound cool as well ;)

Racen watched as the two creatures appeared in Typo Alley.


Having the 'the' in there makes it specific. Seeing as we don't know the creatures yet, I feel like it might be better if there was no the was there? I feel leaves a moment suspense in there. I know, such a small word, but I'm picky xD

"Giving me the silent treatment are you eh?


Comma needed after the 'you'.

Racen willed that the Author not read her thoughts.


Hm, willed is a possible word to use here, but I also think the word 'wished' might fit the sentence better.

This cannot be happening. It's just...insane!


Maybe I mentioned this in the previous review, or maybe I didn't. I can't remember *scratches head* but either way, there needs to be a space after the ellipsis! I won't explain why because I think I did :P Just a small thing to note.

that elephant's would have even deeper voices.


No need for the apostrophe in there ^.^

so it was perfectly strait


*straight

carful


*careful

He dared not take it out of its sheath for fear of breaking the steel. The handle was covered by red leather and the hilt was made of polished steel.


Here I am only pulling it out because you repeat the word 'steel' here twice directly after each other, each at the end of the sentence. When it comes to a novel it's nice to have some more variation of vocabulary in there so it doesn't get too repetitious. My suggestion is to have the first sentence simply ending in 'for fear of breaking it.' That way you can use steel where it is essential in the next sentence.

I wonder how Katya feels about being separated from her newfound friends when she only just got to meet them? Yes, she does wave goodbye, but is she upset that she is going to miss out on this journey, or wish she could be with Wold, the person she had appeared with? I would've liked to know her emotions there and thoughts a bit more. Also, how do they feel about Katya being separated? Sure, Racen says it's a shame they can't get to know her better anymore. But are they a bit jealous that she is getting the special treatment? Or wondering why her? It would be nice to have a couple of those kind of thoughts in there.

I've also noticed the Author always picks on Racen when it comes to the thoughts he is reading. I am sure the others have thoughts and they probably aren't always nice either! Maybe in one of these cases Racen could question the author, asking why he is already her thoughts and none of the others. I would be interested to see how Author manages to answer this question, because it is something I am curious to know myself.

"See you later Wold. Goodbye RP and Racen. I hope to see you soon. Racen waved.


You need to have the end speech marks in this sentence. Also, I would put the 'Racen waved' in its own new paragraph because it seems like she said the sentence now that her own action is added on to the end there. And I believe it is actually Katya who says it.

Otherwise, this was an awesome chapter! I am going to keep reading and hopefully learn more about all these things I can asking you about!

Deanie x




r4p17 says...


Thanks for the review!

Just to let you know, at this point in the story I am writing from Racen's POV, and later on in the book I switched to first person. So I probably won't include anyone else's thoughts. :P but that would be interesting. I will also take into consideration the other things you mention and thanks again. ;)



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 9:43 pm
Elinor wrote a review...



Hey there again!

This was a nice little follow-up to the first part, and you've definitely begun to weave an interesting story. Your style is simple, sweet, and enjoyable to read, and I can tell that you're having a lot of fun with this idea.

Your characters are bright and spunky, and I really enjoy how you've incorporated the Author into the story. I want to hear more about them, though! Again, I would comb through this piece for any typos and grammar/punctuation errors as you move forward, because I noticed that there were a few in this section too!

Good luck! Feel free to send me a PM if you have any questions.

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r4p17 says...


Thanks for the review!



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 2:40 am
Kelpies wrote a review...



Hello again r4p17!

Sorry profile.php?u=40057 , I had a laugh at your expense. This is well done! Can't wait to see the next chapter! I couldn't even find anything wrong with it! I wonder... Maybe the swords blade is also a typo! Don't mind me, blabbering about my theories XD. See you on your next chapter!

But... Now that I think about it... Maybe when Katya was talking about herself as an elephant, maybe she should have said elefant? Just putting it out there.

~Kelpies.




r4p17 says...


Thanks for the review. Your second guess was right!



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Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:32 am
AdmiralKat wrote a review...



Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Happy Review Day! Let's see what we have here!

NITPICK:
"I think I will enjoy being around Katya once I get to know here a little better."
Wouldn't here, be her? She is a girl. 0-0 I think I'm a girl. *looks at myself* Yup I'm a girl.

Okay. I have a question. Where is my typo? Everyone is a typo supposedly but then here I am all fine and dandy. Is this on purpose? Where did I go? I wanna know! NOWWW! *bails like a baby* I think this is going really fast paced. I like it that way, but sometimes it can get a bit confusing. When there is an important part, could you slow down the right for a second?

I love the story. It gets better and better and I'm only on the 2nd part. (I want to get to the next 2 parts) I really want to know what happens next. I want to know where you are leading our heroes. I hope that I don't become the bad guy! Please don't make me the bad guy! I'm too cute of a character to become one! You spelling and grammar is good. So is your organization. The story is GREAT! Overall, great job. Have a nice review day! Keep calm and keep writing! :D

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SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hello R4P, Wolf here for a review. (It might be of useful information to you that I am female, but since you're the author, do what you wish xD)

Okay, so this is supposed to be from Racen's point of view, so how in the world does she automatically know the Wolf and Elephant's name? From the beginning it didn't even look like they spoke, so how does she know Wold talks and KatyaElephant prefers to be called Katya? Be careful not to accidentally 'God-Mode' characters by given them this information unreasonably. Alright, so I see you have proper introductions later in the paragraph, but still doesn't tell how Racen knew their names before she talked to them.

Another thing, I'm quite confused on what perspective this is written in. I first assumed first person limited, but here you include some of RP4's thoughts, unintentionally I think. So be careful not to switch perspectives, even for a paragraph. Unless this is supposed to be in third person omniscient. If that's the case, please let me know.

Finally, I'm not really sure how I feel about all the dialogue. So I can understand they are all trying to get acquainted and all, so it's fine, but in future chapters there's to be more action so try to cut back on all that. Also, I wish you added more descriptions. Back to the perspective thing, RP4 thinks that he holds the most beautifully crafted sword he's ever seen, but how? Is the sword curved perfectly with an embroiled hilt? So look for spots to add in those descriptions (such as what does Wold look like? Fur color? Etc.)

Other than those (and some grammar/spelling issues) this was quite interesting. We get more of an inside look of Racen's head and I'm quite interesting why the Author need Katya. You've got a nice chapter here and with some polishing up, it will be great! Keep Writing,
~Wolfare




r4p17 says...


Thanks so much for the review Wold! You are very helpful. I will go back and look at the things you pointed out. Thanks for letting me know that you are female. I honestly didn't know, but I will edit that part out.

I guess I am confused myself about the POV's I guess I am writing from Racen's POV though it is sort of omniscient as well. I need to figure that out.

If I did write from RP's POV I will change that.

I am planning to change the direction of this story so that there will be more action in the near future.

I do realize that I still need to work on using more description. That is an area that I am weaker in. Thanks for pointing that out!

Finally regarding Katya: the reason the author needs her is that she couldn't fit through any tunnel so the author will transport her into the Story World. Thanks again!



r4p17 says...


Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I have edited this. I changed Wold's gender, checked out the POV's, and added some more description and plot into this work. Could you skim over the part about RP finding the sword btw. I added a lot of description and included a prophecy! That will be important later on.



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unpublishedperson wrote a review...



Hey there, unpublishedperson here to review, because I reviewed the previous installment and I couldn't help but be drawn in a second time!



Racen, at that moment spun round and glared at the author without saying a word.


I would recommend cutting out "at that moment" from this sentence. It makes it a bit clunky.

Racen, if you are insist on letting the readers know what you are thinking


I think it would be insistent here, not insist.

What is this, Narnia.


This should end in a question mark, I think.
Honestly, with all these random typos that I am finding, I am starting to wonder if that is not somehow part of the humor in this piece? After all, this is called Typo Alley.

Other than all of the typos, this was amusing enough, though maybe a bit to surreal for my tastes. I am seeing a bit of a plot taking shape, so this may be heading for a more concrete direction in the future. At least, that is what I am hoping for, because this is pretty hard to follow right now, mainly because the character of the Author can literally do anything.

Anyways, hope this was a helpful review!




r4p17 says...


Thanks for the review, unpublished! I will read this over and try to find the typos. Most of them probably aren't intentional. :p I will work on the things you pointed out. At some point in the near future I plan on editing this.

I am glad that you begin to see a plot taking place. I have some sort of a plan to turn this into a fantasy novel in the next few parts. But this is still a work in progress.



r4p17 says...


Thanks for the review, unpublished! I will read this over and try to find the typos. Most of them probably aren't intentional. :p I will work on the things you pointed out. At some point in the near future I plan on editing this.

I am glad that you begin to see a plot taking place. I have some sort of a plan to turn this into a fantasy novel in the next few parts. But this is still a work in progress.





No problem, glad you found this helpful, and I am interested to see where this goes!



r4p17 says...


Hey unpublished! I just wanted to let you know that I did some editing. It would be nice if you could please read over the section about the sword. I added a prophecy which will be important later on! Thanks




Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
— Emily Dickenson