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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Typo Alley~H Part Two

by r4p17


I let out a sigh. I try to sort things out it my head. So... Wold is the Instruction Typo. How in the... ?

"How could Katya not be real? Was it the Author? Was he the one who made it look like Katya was real?"

"No," Wold says, her voice quavering. "RP. He's the one who did it. He was trying to make you feel better, I think. I was going along with him. I thought that it would help. I thought it would be a good way for him to use his power of creating illusions. His purpose wasn't as noble as I assumed though. I wish I could have seen it coming sooner. The real reason I was hiding all that time was to deal with my guilt and find a way to break the news to you."

I nod, resting my arm on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. I feel a slight surge of confidence course through her veins. For a moment I follow the current, but it washes away as suddenly as it came.

"Let's get back to Chicory's," I suggest.

We turn around, following the path. The cool night breeze crests over the top of the ride just as I do and I drink it up. Something, anything to calm the tornado of thoughts that twirls and twists through my veins, threatening to spill out. Not now. Not yet. Wait till we are away from the hobbits. But I can't forget.

I look up on the light of the moon, its craters and mountains just barely visible. I wonder if it has tornados... It is so calm, so peaceful. I find myself wishing that I could always bathe in its serenity. Glancing over a Wold I am greeted with the beautiful sight of the moon shining on her gray fur, giving it a silvery quality. In that moment I realized something; I don't think of Wold as an animal anymore. She's more than that. She's a friend.

~~~

I blink, trying to keep the sun out of my eyes. I think I left the curtains open last night. I suppose I won't be able to get back to sleep. Thoughts of RP flood my brain. Perhaps a walk in the fresh morning air would do me good. I feel an impulse to leave the house. It is early enough that I probably wouldn't be missed.

I sneak out into the hallway, silently creeping toward the cellar door in the kitchen to gather a bag of food for the day. I wince as a floorboard creeks under my foot. I look up and notice Wold pensively pacing back and forth.

"Good morning, Wold," I say, nodding to her. She forces a smile. I hardly notice anything wrong, though I know that she doesn't feel the way she looks. I'm not sure I do either. But I don't feel quite as sad as I did before, either, now that I know that Katya isn't real. Her personality was still genuine, even if the one who made it wasn't.

"You're up early," she comments. I nod.

"Yes, I am. You couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah. I couldn't keep my mind off RP. I am beginning to wonder what RP is really like. I don't... I don't know. Something inside me tells me to not hate him like you do. But it is hard to believe that he could have any justifiable reason for doing what he did. Perhaps I shouldn't think about it as much."

"We should really focus on thinking of how to get rid of the raiders," I affirm. "I haven't had any time to reflect on the matter." I instinctively recoil as RP enters the room, nearly causing me to knock over a vase. Drat! He chuckles at my edginess, earning a glare.

"Good morning, you two. I hope I haven't interrupted your little conference." I continue to look sharply at him, thinking, why must he be so infuriating?

"Racen only just woke up," Wold corrected. We're both pretty tired because of lack of sleep. We were trying to come up with solutions to get rid of the raiders, seeing as you are our only real soldier."

"What makes you think that I am going to help you?" RP queries, holding his head high and sticking out his chest, like a soldier at attention.

I glance at Wold, sensing the tension rising, like climbing up a mountain when your ears are about to pop. Finally Wold breaks it. "Aren't we still friends?"

RP lets out a sigh. "I didn't say that. Still, the Author never mentioned anything about fighting raiders. He said to talk to the owner of some magic shop."

"Cros is the owner of the Magic shop," I retort. "He's a Typo. Aiey's instructions say to attack the raiders! We know that already."

"Bah! I'm tired of following the instructions of the Author." Wold and I share glances with one another.

"You don't know the Author RP. I haven't told you everything I know about him, and I'l tell you no more after... you know what."

RP's hand flys to his sword and his eyes flicker dangerously. "You promised you wouldn't tell!"

Wold laughs, icily. "You broke your promise that you would use Katya to cheer Racen up because you had such a naturally harsh personality. Then you killed her to make Racen angry." RP raps his knuckles on the table sharply and look as if he is going to rush Wold.

"Don't!" I whisper frantically, beads of sweat forming on my face. The humidity only adds to the tension. Just breath. Calmly. In and out. "We don't want to wake Chicory." He only sneers in derision, reluctantly following us outside and glaring at the sunlight streaming directly through doorframe.

"Please RP. I know we don't like you and you feel the same way toward us. But try to help us for once. If you do we will forgive you." RP looks to me as if to ask, would you really forgive me?

I try not to burst out in red hot anger, but the fire burns too hot. "You never spoke of this to me," I say. A twinge of regret threatens to out out the fire, but I force it back. RP is my main problem right now. Helping the Hobbits is secondary.

"No, I didn't, but I think our priority should be to follow the Author's instruction if RP agrees then we will achieve a twofold purpose.

I know that Wold has a point, deep down inside of me, but I can't just give up this easily. I want so badly to smack RP and knock some sense to him. Perhaps do more than that.

"RP, I think Racen and I will go around the corner and have a private talk for a minute, as along as you don't mind."

"I'm willing to do anything that allows me to get you out of my site," he says derisively.

I glare at RP, wanting to punch him, but Wold grabs a hold of my pant leg, threatening to rip it.

"Fine, fine," I say, turning to glare fiercely at RP who pulls up his arm, presumably to hide a chuckle.

When we round the corner of the house I look back at Wold with raised eyebrows. "So..."

"Racen, this might be the only time that we can ever achieve a reconciliation between you and RP. I don't think it is right to be quarreling with him all the time. Besides, I think that he might come to blows with one of us before long. He is dangerous with Báuräc. I don't want anything bad to happen."

"I am not worried about that. I suggest that we leave him." Wold shakes her head.

"Racen, we need to have RP. You and I aren't going to be able to do anything. Aiey and her friends aren't going to be much help, either."

"We shouldn't let that influence us, Wold. We can think of that yet."

"Racen," she states flatly. Her voice is all business. "Listen. I know, for a fact, that the only blade that can kill Chaise is Báuräc. It is one of Arcade's prophecies."

"Well then we take it from him," I suggest.

"No. RP was prophesied to have it. It says that a person short of stature, obviously RP, would save the world from Chaise. There has to be some way to turn him around and make him want to go after Chaise. The logical starting place is right here! The first thing that we will need to do is come to terms with him, no matter how much you don't like it. Now let's go."

"What if the prophecy didn't mean to speak of RP. It could be any dwarf!"

"The prophecy said that he would have light eyes! And that the person would be a Typo. RP meets both of those requirements."

"Fine," I say. "I will go along with it, even though I hate the thought of it."

With a smile, I walk back around the corner of the house and find RP standing with his head bowed.

"Don't speak. I want to say one thing first. It wasn't my intention for Katya to die. However, when the arrow hit, I figured it would be hard to believe that she was alive. I made it look like she was dead. I didn't mean to kill her, but I didn't have a choice. I was going to tell you, Wold, but you were furious and wouldn't let me say anything. I don't blame you. But I just want you to know the whole story, first. If you don't believe me, take the fact that I am willing to help you with the raiders as proof. Báuräc and I will help you, even if it is a fools errand."

I try to keep from scoffing. I shun any hint of belief from my mind. I saw how RP was acting earlier. I am not that gullible. The way he tries to fake sadness and innocence just makes me want to punch him in the gut all the more. That villainous midget!

"I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to speak, RP," Wold says. "I was too hasty in my anger. But why were you acting so angry earlier."

"I guess I was being a rash. I was more angry at myself than with you. Now I am more sensible."

"Wold!" I reprimand. "You don't mean that you actually believe him?" A lump forms in my stomach. Wold is my friend. I thought she was... now I'm not so sure.

"It seems plausible," she says. What has gone into her?

I look down at the ground dejectedly. How can she do this to me? My hands are trembling, I realize. This can't be happening. All my friends are gone.

I turn around and begin walking away in a storm. I can't believe that I let RP maneuver me into a position like that. I can't trust Wold any more. I will leave them. I don't know where to go in this strange world, but I am going to get away from RP. Now!

I rush into my room in silence, but still conveying a sense of urgency. I wince as the floor under my feet creaks. I reach for my bow and quiver, slinging them over my back. Resolve swirls through me as I bear the weapon. I will never let it go out of my reach again.

In a matter of minutes I assemble all my belongings. No more complaining about long marches or heavy packs. No more putting up with RP. Only a firm resolve to carry me along. I won't hide in the shadows any longer. I am not going to follow the Author's instructions either. Not in the way he wants me to. I am going to take out Chaise myself. When that's done I will kill RP! Then I will be able to sleep at night!


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Sun Jul 26, 2015 1:54 am
Kelpies wrote a review...



Hello r4p17!

Woah, Racen's reaction, killing people! Then again, I know many people that would probably react that way. I am, in a way glad that Racen is making this decision, I doubt that she'd be able to put up with RP, without, accidentally or not, killing eachother. Anyways, nitpicks!

over the top of the ride just as I do
rise?

Glancing over a Wold
at?

get you out of my site
sight?

All in all, great job on this chapter, I'm on to the next one! See you!

~Kelpies.




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Mon Jun 01, 2015 2:06 pm
Pretzelstick wrote a review...



Heya r4, I decided to keep on reading today,because I want to know what happened here. I will write as I read and go along, so bear with me c: Also, I'm sorry for the weird spacing, as I am writing on Google docs :/


Anyways,let’s begin,shall we?


I let out a sigh. I try to sort things out it my head.



That’s it? :o That is Racen’s reaction after mourning the friend that she had loved and lost, but that wasn’t even real! :? I find that you could have a much stronger reaction, and while writing this, really get into your characters and make her personal and relatable to the reader.


Was it the Author? Was he the one who made it look like Katya was real?"



Umm, didn’t Wolf already say that it was RP who did it in the previous chapter? It makes no sense that she would want to repeat it know,especially since Racen already knows.


I feel a slight surge of confidence course through her veins. For a moment I follow the current, but it washes away as suddenly as it came.


Huh, I don’t think that an animal’s and a elves body can someone connect in any way or current. ;) This just seems unrealistic.


I think I left the curtains open last night.



Umm, you think :?: I used to not have anything on my window(no shutters or curtains) because they broke and I had to wait awhile until my dad bought me the new awesome ones. Anyways, I knew that the curtains were open since I could see the sunlight shining into my eyes. It’s what ultimately woke me up at such an early hour. So, I could see this happening, but she would automatically feel and know this fact.


"You're up early," she comments. I nod.

"Yes, I am. You couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah.




I’m going to be harsh and honest(2 H’s) with you here. This dialogue is so boring, it’s something that totally falls flat and doesn’t show any personality or action. I like to call this: talking heads. Because that’s all that you have here. I want to reccomend that you check out a very helpful article(to me) that is on YWS: How to Get Rid of Talking Heads


"Don't!" I whisper frantically, beads of sweat forming on my face



If Wold and RP are supposed to be getting into a fight, and rubbing spaces, I think that Racen would shout DON’T on the top of her lungs to outline this. This should be a loud and abrupt stopper that makes the whole room freeze from the fighting that is about to begin.


Racen, this might be the only time that we can ever achieve a reconciliation between you and RP.



There is always time to reconcile with someone, no matter how far away you have been separated. If there is any seed of remorse,regreat,or guilt for what they did in either of them, then I think that’s it’s fair to say that we’ll see what happens, and if forgiveness will ever come. Cause it can happen at any time.


I wince as the floor under my feet creaks.



Does it hurt that the floor creaks? :? I don’t think so, because the floor of the stairs in my house creaks, but I am sure that it doesn’t hurt me in any way at all.


OK, now onto the general. I am not surprised about the prophey with RP and his Bauric sword,but that’s because he was it’s appointed owner this whole time. What amazes me is how stupid and naive Racen seems to be here, since she wants to go out on her own and kill Chaise without any protection or holy weapon. I just think and know that she probably won’t succeed.


Ohh, Racen’s dark side is really showing in this chapter. And she does have a big one. She wants to kill RP for making Katya an illusion? I think that she would be glad that Katya isn’t really dead. At least that’s how feel, although I failed to tell you. I really do think that I would be relieved that she wasn’t actually dead,you know what I mean? And I think that she is making a rash decision, since RP was her friend for some time, you know? So there is a twinge of earlier respect there-when he helped her in the battle field, when he fought all of the guards, when he choose to go the right direction to the mt.s and so on.



Anyways, that’s it from me for this chapter. I hope that this review helps you improve your writing, and if you have any questions please feel free to PM me with them.


~Peace Out~

/Pretzelsing/




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Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:40 am
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey r4p17!

I'm a little bit behind when it comes to your novel but I am working to catch up! For starters though, I can say this is one of my favourite chapters of yours. I think this is one where you read through it first as well because there are a lot less typos then there usually are. And I liked how the theme of this chapter wasn't so much taking action but was more so refining the emotions and relationships of the original three characters. I felt like it was good to take the time out of the novel and focus on the characters and the way in which they are all relating to each other. I wanted to see them more in focus and you did it yourself! I like how RP is trying to be kind again even though I am still not sure I believe he is as innocent now as Wold would like to believe. Racen doesn't seem to understand that it doesn't mean that Wold isn't her friend anymore, so I sincerely hope that all gets worked out in the next chapter.

I felt like it was a bit strange to see Racen so easily accept the fact that her friend Katya was an illusion. Wouldn't she at least want proof that Racen could cast illusions like that before believing it herself. I know that is something I would like to see myself. I would be frustrated and try to see how such a kind and good hearted personality didn't exist after all. And I was super surprised that she didn't show a hint of betrayal at all. I wanted to see some more anger directed in RP's direction now that the truth had been revealed and for her to feel betrayed by him - even if she hadn't liked him much in the first place. As well as that, even though she likes Wold, Wold did know the truth and didn't tell her anything. Which means she is entitled to feel a bit upset at Wold as well, if not a bit betrayed. Those were some emotions I felt like the chapter was missing.

As for everything else, I will say that I only have nitpicks for you. That's how good this chapter was. Oh, and I wanted to mention that I loved the description of the moon reflecting off of Wold's grey fur as well :)

Glancing over a Wold I am greeted with the beautiful sight


I think you mean 'at' instead of 'a'.

"Racen only just woke up," Wold corrected. We're both pretty tired because of lack of sleep. We were trying to come up with solutions to get rid of the raiders


In this sentence you're missing the speech marks for when Wold starts speaking again.

Just breath. Calmly.


Not sure if I mentioned this before, but you seem to get breathe and breath mixed up. Breathe is the action, the actual verb of breathing. But a breath is thing you inhale when you are breathing. One is the action, one is the thing. Try not to get them confused! In this case you need breathe.

I'm willing to do anything to get you out of my site,"


Ah, here you used the wrong spelling of the word you mean. It should be 'sight.'

"I am not worried about that. I suggest that we leave him." Wold shakes her head.


Because you have Wold's action in this one lined paragraph it gives the impression that Wold is the one who has said this. When actually, you meant it to be Racen. I would suggest that you start a new paragraph before Wold does her action, at the end of the dialogue. Simply so that things are less confusing to the reader.

"Well then we take it from him," I suggest.


Comma needed after the first word in this sentence.

But why were you acting so angry earlier."


This is actually a question so it needs that question mark at the end!

Hope this review was useful, and I'll be back for the next chapter soon :)

Deanie x




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Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:08 pm
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Noelle wrote a review...



Hi there! Noelle back again.

Oh, I forgot to mention one thing in my last review. You did such a good job transitioning from the previous chapter into this one. Chronologically, the events were right after the events at the end of the previous chapter. You don't have to keep it like that all the time, but it should really be the majority of your chapter transitions.

I feel a slight surge of confidence course through her veins.

I don't think that's something you can really feel, especially not in someone else.

Thoughts of RP flood my brain.

I kind of wanted to see this part expanded. Racen spent the whole ending part of the last chapter comforting Wold that we didn't get to see her real feelings about RP and the whole situation. Maybe we'll get to see her feelings later on in the chapter, but I think here would've been a good place to share her feelings.

I've never really thought of it before, but RP could be dangerous. With that sword he's able to fight off anyone. And with the way he feels about Racen, he could really do anything. She and Wold have to be so careful around him. It's terrible really, because they were all getting along. I don't want to say that they were actually friends because they really weren't, but they were fairly close to it. Now who knows what's going to happen.

"Fine," I say. "I will go along with it, even though I hate the thought of it."

With a smile, I walk back around the corner of the house and find RP standing with his head bowed.

I find it strange that Racen would go back into the room with a smile on her face. She just got done arguing with Wold and doesn't agree with what Wold came up with. I feel like even if she wanted to cover up her annoyance, she wouldn't be smiling. Especially since she's still upset at RP about Katya.

What has gone into her?

*gotten

I really like how your characters are somewhat unpredictable. I know a lot about them and everything, but there are still things that surprise me about them, mainly the way that they feel. Like here with Wold. She just got done telling Racen that they should trust RP even though she, Wold, doesn't like him either, and now she wants to feel bad for him. It keeps me on my toes. I never know what to think.

This is a great chapter. Your dialogue and conversations are great and I was hooked the whole way through. I never know what to think about RP and this chapter is not an exception. You keep throwing these things at us, making us second guess the characters and what their real intentions are. I'll just have to read on to see if I'll ever learn the entire truth :P

Keep writing!
**Noelle**




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Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:12 am
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SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hey, RP!

I'm going to sort of do the commentary as I read thing again, because this really stood out to me. The very first sentence feels so not empowered. Racen was just revealed that RP was just making up Katya, someone she'd spent so much time mourning over and maybe she would have been more angry. Or had a moment of realization like, "So that's why RP was pressuring me like that..." But a sigh doesn't cut it. It just takes all that tension you built up and then smacked it down with no enthusiasm. I strongly recommend putting a different reaction from Racen.

"RP, I think Racen and I will go around the corner and have a private talk for a minute, as along as you don't mind."


Oh yes. Because this is definetly something you would say to someone. It just feels rather stupid to say something like this to someone who angers so easily. I mean, it's sort of like talking with someone really loudly about someone else in the area. You just don't do it. Maybe phrase this differently, or take out the part of 'if you don't mind' because it's sort of like asking permission to gossip. I don't know. It just irks me.

Well, Racen just went all evil on us... o.o

So, I really like this part. Finally, there is a much better balance and we get to see the true RP in action. Then, Racen's reaction to it all is great! I love the hatred coming from her, since it seems so logical, he tried to manipulate her! And now he's trying to do it again. I don't know what's up with RP, but it's kind of scary.

Now, I only have one other nitpick, and then I'll move on to the next part. Earlier on, RP mentions something about the raiders not being in the Author's instructions, then he switches his arguement that they should stop following his instructions to finally back to being on his side. It's rather confusing. Maybe clean that up a little bit.

This part, I actually enjoyed. It was much better balanced out, showing a bit of everyone's personality, clashing with RP and Racen while Wold tries to become the peacekeeper of the group, earning some resentment from Racen. I can understand where she's coming from though. I'm excited for what's next! Happy Review Day and Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~





Who, being loved, is poor?
— Oscar Wilde