As a Cloud

This is very good. I like the figurative language and I can relate to it. I also like the repetition, but I think you shouldn't just repeat everything twice. It looks like you just stacked the poem on top of itself or made an accidental duplicate. Maybe you could talk about what's on the other side of the void, or what happens when you succumb to the void, later in the poem. Or maybe relate it to your life, talking about a time when your longing went unfulfilled and began to eat away at you.

Also, you should build up on the cloud metaphor. Were you ever a stormcloud, so angry that you let out your vengeance on other people? It happens to everyone. I usually take out this built up anger on my family, letting the rain pour down on them amidst screams and insults. Or were you ever a cirrus cloud, wispy and small, up high above the others like a hiding mouse, too afraid to get any closer to the earth? Because sometimes it's easier to hide than to confront someone, and sometimes, it's easier to fade off in the blue sky than to let yourself be seen. Or were you a billowing cloud, the type of cloud a person can find faces, cars, or animals in, when they lie in the grass in the afternoon? I'm not sure what kind of person this would be. I guess it would depend on what people saw in your puffy white form. A bunny, or a wolf?

Also, maybe you should stick to only one metaphor, instead of talking about quenching the hunger and craving things. Clouds pretty much mind their own business, floating in the isolation of their own little world. They don't seem to have cravings, though maybe they have longings as they stare down at us all day. Do you think they want to stay in the sky? Or do you think they want to come down and join us on earth? The great firmament is a pretty cool place to live, with stars and the sun as lamps, but it does seem rather barren, with no plants growing up there and the closest thing besides Earth being the moon.

Lastly, why do you use "wander'd" instead of wandered? Do you just think it makes you sound poetic? It's kinda cool, but it seems rather pointless to me. It just draws attention to itself.

Nice work!

Your flow is very good and I love your metaphorical meaning and your interesting mood. It's almost like... resignation, not quite acceptance but more of a realization moving towards acceptance. (If that makes any sense)

Overall the simple beauty of this was very captivating.

my rating:10/10

keep up the good work!

w&w

Well Done!

This has been presented clearly, and I love that.
You can also kind of tell what's going on.
It's also very descriptive, which makes it more intruging.
This is very good, and the only negative comment is...
I don't really know what age this would be aimed at.

Keep writing though!!

This is very interesting! It has a neat feeling to it. I like the reocurring (however you spell that) metaphor "lonely as a cloud". It gives me the image of a giant person with their head stuck through a cloud sort of just, wandering around because the little people don't care about the person xD
Don't ask me why it gives me that image, it just does, and I'm strange that way. Certain poetry or lyrics gives me a certain image.
But, getting back to the review....
overall, I really liked this. I'm wondering whether it's a poem or lyrics? It works either way, which is kind of why I'm wondering...
Keep writing!
~McKie