Hello manisha,
EnchantedPanda here to give you a quick review on your poem!
I really liked this. It's got a kind of happy-go-lucky feel to it and it actually makes you happy when you read it purely based on the tone and the language you have composed this with. I really liked the vibes I got when I read this because I can tell you really tried to think about your question and the different elements of life that would contribute to an answer. This is refreshingly thoughtful and at the same time you didn't try and hide back or disguise your curiousness and questioning tone. The result is a combination of both thought and honesty which are both admirable qualities in a piece of literature. I also liked the metaphors you used describing how people react to a merry go round is similar to how they react to life itself. This was when I actually felt a connection and want to continue and read more. Keep note of that because impacting people or sparking some emotional connection is a very good quality in a poem.
The only problem with this is that I found it's just slightly too cliche at some points in the poem, this is because you've used such a common theme: life and the many questions revolving around it. Your actual question, "what is at the center of life", is actually pretty original and creative but because it's to do with life it can be tricky to take a fresh angle on the topic. I would suggest looking through this again and editing anything that sounds vaguely cliche because the chances are, if you think you've heard it before then with poetry you probably have. Take out anything overused because not only is it dull but it also detracts from the quality of the poem and can make it seem dry of emotionally lacking in anything new or interesting.
Also another point that another reviewer mentioned was in the last line;
What is at the centre of the circle of life!
Please, please, please. If it's a question then you have to use a question mark. Otherwise this makes this phrase just sound overly dramatic and way too over-the-top-happy. You don't want to head down that route either so just take out the explanation mark and swap it in for a question mark instead. I guarantee it will sound and look way better.
Overall I thought this was a nice little poem you have here. With a few little edits I'm sure it can be amazing. Keep up the awesome writing and please message me if you have any comments or questions or would like another review on a different piece. I look forward to seeing your future writing!
From EnchantedPanda
Points: 8102
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