you clean your slate
im left with mine
tangled with words without meaning
the same promises
traced all over me
im just chalk dust to you
and it hurts when ive inked in you
i tried to tear your pages out
but i couldnt without losing me
i gave you myself
little bits of me
as if written on chits passed over secretly
but you left
and my bits of paper scattered all over
i tried to catch you
all i got was chalk dust.
i was left there standing
your promises inked out on my skin
i couldnt tear out your pages
so i wrote over them
i closed your chapter
i think i lost myself trying to find you
and how was i supposed to build myself up again?
you didnt even leave me the bricks you tore down
all that was left was chalk dust
ive inked myself out now
ive learnt to write in chalk
i now wipe my slate clean
but it doesnt hurt any less.
the dust stings my eyes
why do we leave chalk dust behind?
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hi there fellow purple prose eater, this is your captain speaking ;p let's jump in yes?
I read this a while back, and thought it would be devoured by poetry goblins from all over the sight, so it's kinda sad to see it still here, but at least that means I get to read it again.
I just love the contrast of ink vs chalk, permanence and stain versus fleeting beauty. I love that you drive it into tearing pages, losing parts of yourself by proxy. C S. Lewis spoke beautifully about how when we lose others we also lose a part of ourselves in relation to the people they influenced, and I feel like you've touched on that here as well.
The only analogy that kinda fails for me is the bricks in the 2nd to last stanza. We haven't mentioned buildings or walls, really, and when I think of chalk I think of driveways and sidewalks, not brick walls. Maybe if you referenced chalk-drawn bricks earlier it would be a good callback?
I think the last stanza is really interesting, making your ink (your past) the background that you now draw on in chalk. You can't escape it. I like that this piece works on a lot of levels, whether romantically, friendship, family relations or internal struggles. We can't get away from the effects of our past, and covering them up almost always makes things hurt worse in the long run.
~ Messy
Thanks for the review mess!! I hear what you mean about the bricks, it works for me right now, but if I find a suitable replacement that makes more sense and gives me the same feel, I'll definitely replace it.
Your poem is truly beautiful. It captures emotion so vividly and paints such a clear picture with your words. The way you weave imagery and feeling together is remarkable—it's both thought-provoking and deeply moving. You have a real talent for expressing yourself through poetry. i love you style of writing.
Thank you so much!!
Hello Khushi,
Very good poem. The chalk imagery is strong and powerful. You seem to have a clear idea of what emotion you were trying to convey with themes of legacy and being remembered after any relationship. "All that was left was chalk dust" happens to connect with both the brick rumble and the theme. I don't really have much other notes. You seem to know what you're doing. Keep it up.
Thanks for the review.
Dang this is good.
“I think I lost myself trying to find you”
Absolute bars 💪
awh thank youu <3