fire flies

by canopy

Published September 1, 2026

16+

In Poetry....

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Sebastian
Review
Sebastian wrote a review Review · Sep 1

Truly hard to read and very upsetting, and yet it’s highly engaging. The big thing that makes it so engaging is the typography or the way the verses are structures. It gives it a little bit of an unpredictable feeling, and also kind of conveys emotion through the placement. I also think the metaphors and descriptive language used is very clever.

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dragonight9
Review
dragonight9 wrote a review Review · Sep 1

Hi, Dragonight here to review this tragic story.

I love how you've structured this poem. It is very intriguing to read.

The story this tells is quite sad yet beautiful in its own way. I really like how he thinks of his friend singing a song for him. A final comfort amidst the pain. Wishing God would take him to heaven and give him the comfort of home.

Your descriptive words were well used and painted a vivid picture in my mind. The way you had different words separate or trail off added a depth of meaning I didn't expect.

If I had any critiques it would probably have to do with the grammar in certain areas, but with the format it is difficult to know the rules of grammar for this. The only spot I will point out is this,

garlic and gasoline i smell; oh. it's fireflies
I think the 'i' should be capitalized and a period at the end.
Everything about the poem itself was great so no improvements needed there.

Overall, the poem tells this story vividly and with great emotional depth. Great job

May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.

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deleted49
Review
deleted49 wrote a review Review · Sep 1

Oh my goodness, this poem is absolutely beautiful and left me wanting more!

The quote, "only sixteen when swept in the words of big men and their flying fire", is so sad to me and also sounds so realistic.
This poem sounds like something that was actually written during a war, and strikes fear and melancholy deep into my heart.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, it's quite beautiful and I can't wait to see more!



If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're misinformed.
— Mark Twain