Oh sweet Teal!
How glamorous are thee!
My one true love!
Attained after such hard work, I had you!
And you fluttered away like the mist,
on a sunny day.
Bright! Beautiful! Shiny!
Brave! Courageous! Undaunting!
You lit up the site with your presence!
Happiness and peace you exuded!
Teal, my love, how I miss you so!
Oh sweet Teal!
You were an angle on this Earth!
Such a beauty to behold!
You had several worshippers!
For you were a gift from heaven above!
Oh sweet Teal!
Wherever hast thou gone?
An emptiness thee has left behind!
A pain! A Sorrow!
A grieving people!
We miss you so!
I miss you, my dear!
Return darling, won't you?
Oh sweet Teal!
Your goodness shall not be forgotten!
Your beauty shall be remembered!
Your kindness,
Your honesty,
Your modesty,
Your Trueness,
Your virtues,
Shall all be celebrated!
I shall remember you!
I shall hold you in my heart forevermore!
You shall live on in my memory!
Teal, my sweet, you reside in my soul!
Your laughter echoes in my heart!
Your memory fills my brain!
I shall always celebrate you.
I shall always remember you.
And I will always wait,
for you to return,
perhaps next RevMo?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Lovely poem: teal is a great color. I love the idea of romanticizing teal an archaic poem; its both sincere and humorous. The repetition in the poem is fantastic, and I appreciate the transition from grieving the loss of teal into hope that you could see it once again. The little allusions to teal being a username color with a cult following are incredibly well thought out. It takes an eye to notice them, but they are well worth the search. If you desire criticism, I personally think the poem seems to tell (rather than show) the reader why teal is so beautiful. Most of the poem uses feelings (happiness, sorrow,) or abstract adjectives (brave, courageous, undaunting,) to explain teal, which—to me (which might not be the case for everyone)—doesn't feel as powerful as showing the ways in which teal never backs down or lights up the forum world. All the same, that seems intentional: the poem seems reminiscent of old-fashioned odes, and as such, uses similar motifs. All are around, the poem does a great job of showing the joys of teal and the pain cause by its passing.
Hopefully you agree with what I say. If not please let me know so I can stop being wrong.
Hey there! First of all- I love this! What a sweet ode to RevMo and the color teal :') I was also a recipient of a teal username, so it is a bit sad to see it go too! Let's jump right into this review
I love this introduction. Right from the start I was drawn in because you did a great job setting the tone for this piece- using the formal language to create this fancier and important, declaring booming voice. I like the words you use here too, like "attained" and "fluttered" they all have this elegant tone to them, which honestly adds to the comedy, but honesty of the poem.
I really love this part because you go through all these different parts of the body and relate the missing of this teal to it. You go through something being in your heart, living in your memory or mind, then, your soul, then, your heart, then back to your brain. I love it! I love your tone throughout the whole poem. I think you did a lovely job at keeping that consistent and making us laugh. I also like that parts where you use these listing techniques in your writing, for example when you go through all of the different attributes and things you miss about the teal username.
A nice strong finish, which ties the whole thing together and gives us something to look forward. Great work
Your friend,
Ellie Mae
Thanks for the review Ellie!
kushi Bansal
is own of the best poet
I've known
He is also down to earth IMAGINE
Heyo! AnotherCrowInRow (aka Kay) here with review
As one of the biggest fans of color teal, I exactly know what you mean. Like quys! Teal is amazing! Finally someone wrote an ode for teal!
Okay, I admit that it was only at this point that I realized that aha! It's RevMo! I have no doubt that getting the teal username color was an achievement for you and I'm trying very hard not to sound jealous because it's TEAL. It is. Amazing color.
Oh yeah, another teal fan definitely spotted
It's a fact that time has been going completely differently for me since school started, so I honestly almost didn't even notice that RevMo was behind us... and boom! I suddenly realize that I haven't seen the beautiful colorful usernames that appeared on YWS for a long time thanks to the beloved RevMo. Sincere condolences for your loss. A world without teal is an empty place, but let's not despair! RevMo will be back and hopefully this beautiful color with it.
Okay, now a little more serious: good job! I really like that Ode to Teal really sounds like an ode - you use older words and the whole ode is so dramatic and mournful and it made me smile because yes: teal is great. It deserves odes. And by the way, congratulations on your success in RevMo!
Have a nice rest of day/night/whatever!
Thanks for the review!