do you remember
when we met out that day
we had lunch together
we had so much fun
there was so much laughter
the memory made me smile for so long after.
our friendship came so easy then.
do you remember
that conversation we had so long ago
where we christened each other anew
nicknames that added to us
gave us such dimension
made us something special.
how often we spoke then.
do you remember
that day in school
when we spent the whole day together
we had so many things to talk about
it seemed impossible
that it could be anything but.
how much joy you caused me then.
do you know
how i think of our friendship
as someone we used to know
this person whose suddenly disappeared
do you remember
the day they were born
this person we used to know.
is it me
is something wrong with me
do i feel it too much
do i need it too much
do i expect too much
i know its me
who struggles with friendship
whose never had one last
for more than a few years
and that even barely
i dont understand what i do wrong
is it me
is it real
how do i know
what makes it real
do we meet everyday
is that real
do we talk everyday
is that real
do i know your real name
is that real
what is friendship
is it deep
does it take time
can i just call you friend
and make you mine
do i care
is that real
do you care
is that real
am i thinking about this too much
should i just let this go
this person we used to know
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Canary word: Present
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Hey Khushi, just stopping in to write a review!
Immediately, this poem is deeply personal yet relatable. Every word, every line, matches a sentiment that I, too, have once felt. Friendships and relationships are such a complex and confusing thing that has the power to bring us up or knock us down.
The repeated "do you remember" only strengthens the "is that real" question as the narrator is trying to work out whether these experiences, doubts, and feelings they have are true or if they are dramatized versions in their head. This whole poem encapsulates a question of wondering and of overthinking, and I think you do a great job at portraying that. Even with the verse set up, the verses having different line lengths and number of lines, gives off an air of chaos and going down rabbit holes.
I really enjoyed this poem as I feel as though the emotion shining through the poem is well portrayed! Hope you read more of your work soon <3
Thanks for the review!!
Hello, My Friend!
Hey Khushi! Just Raven dropping in with a review, hope you don't mind. Let's dive right in, shall we?
Oh, what a beautiful poem! I love the slow transition from a feeling of nostalgia, invoking images of a past friendship, to a more somber and questioning tone that not only relays a personal story of short-lived and/or one-sided friendships, but also makes the reader consider an important question. How do you know that a friendship is real? I mean, does it fall solely on its duration, its "perks" for lack of a better word, or simply finding joy in each other's company (for however long it may last)? I also think, with the strong questions asked along the way, it also draws upon a fear many of us may share. About coming on too strong, or wondering if it's our fault when a friendship ends. Overall, it's a fascinating theme that really leaves you thinking.
As for a technical review, I have no recommendations for improvement! I enjoyed the structure, and the language was downright gorgeous. This was a great read as-is! <3
As for favorite parts, ooo, I'd say...
For starters, upon reading the poem and looking back, I really like the choice of title and its repetition at the end. It not only fits the theme on multiple levels, but it makes you think, like who was this "somebody we used to know" in our lives? In addition to the theme, the vibe kind of reminds me of "Nothing Gold Can Stay," which I really enjoy.
I love this part! It feels so universal, it really makes the reader call back so many of their own memories of similar experiences. And the word you chose there, "christened" with nicknames. That got a bit of a laugh out of me lol.
Love the followup here. Repeating the "do you know" with another relatable, yet more sad experience. I also like the detail of this stanza being cut shorter than the others. It fits the idea of that friendship, likewise, being cut short.
Brilliant question to pose—like, I loved that entire section. Feels like a genuine contemplation about what makes friendships "real."
What a great way to end it! I know I already mentioned that I liked the end/title and its implications, but I also liked that last bit, questioning if you should let it go.
Overall, that was an amazing and beautifully-written poem! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thanks for the review Raven!! I really appreciate it!
You're welcome! ^^
I really like this stanza! This made me really start to buy into the "people" that these chararcters used to be. Once so deeply enamored with eachother, only for it to fall apart...
Based off of lines like this and lines surrounding this, it seems like this friend has left the speaker. Leaving a feeling of disorientation, confusion, and maybe a little bit of anger?
I think something important here is the spacing of words! The fact that this is the longest section of the poem that involves the speaker questioning the validity of this relationship (?). Their friend has either left them or maybe even hurt them enough to make them question things so much...
Ending off on "this person we used to know" maybe emphasizes how the speaker has also changed and grown or even digressed due to this experience.
Overall, I think something I like the most about this poem is the way the tone is portrayed! It starts off, allowing the reader to feel like our speaker felt before. As the poem goes on, my opinion changes as the speaker's thoughts and feelings are elaborated on.
Good work! Have a good day and keep on writing!
Thanks for the review!