the silence left behind by my death is filled with your praise

Text Version:

slick slide of your blood on my lips
it is no longer warm now.
i am so past trying to understand
if i ever wanted it there

lying on my back,
craning my neck i can see
the carnage wrecked on my chest
your blade was sure
the cuts are fine and
barely any blood drips
anymore.

blood born and pain wrought you
sacrificed what you hold dear
lay me down at the altar
of your terrible god
because you must offer him
[your] pain

wasting away in this abandoned temple
decay rotting my dying body i
can only let my head fall in disdain
the sound of my skull hitting the stairs
that thunk
as i sneer at the thought that
my pain is nothing
to you[r]
god.

you loved me
you did.
so that one day
you could slay me on this hill
and bathe yourself in my blood
and my body in your tears
because you loved me
and the god
demanded sacrifice
of a loved one
in the future they will say
it was a tragedy and
god was cruel
for asking so [of you] but

laying here dying
i know better
and that
[it was you.]

you loved me and
learnt the curves of my body so
that you knew
which muscle to split to
reveal my heart
that you[r god] so
desperately
wanted.

holding it beating in your hands
tell me: did you feel [anything]
pain or did you
mistake relief for agony

you loved me in past tense
already consigned to your memory
you mourned when i was alive
so
you could be clear headed while you
[killed me]
loved me because
i was fated to die
and it
was
easier

to kill someone
you already knew as dead
the first time we met
you were not blinded by beauty but
by the vision of me in
sacrificial white robes
reddened by my blood.

do you imagine yourself noble
i wonder
thinking your
grief was enough
as you watched your tears slip down my cheek
to my ruined chest
do you think it grief enough
as my still living eyes watch you walk away
mumbling a prayer to your god

[you probably do.]

all of this
and
the world will think
this was
[your] sacrifice

i never wanted
disdain to be
the last thing
i felt
before
[i died.]

you told me that
you [like me] did not
believe in the
likes of
the
divine.

Hey Canny! I saw that this piece was still sitting in the green room, and I'm in a reviewing mood so here's a review for you! (Miss you btw<3)

This poem... wow. It really takes us through an emotional journey of pain and hurt. From the title alone, it grabs the reader and lets them know this poem is going to hurt.

✦ I want to first point out the incredible use of language in this poem. There are only so many words to describe a death, yet this poem is full of strong language that doesn't feel redundant. The word choices and placement feels intentional. Starting the poem off with "slick slide of your blood on my lips / it is no longer warm now." is an incredible choice to start this poem off with.

✦ The bracketed words and phrases can give the poem a double meaning between what two different, but not opposing, thoughts. This shows the unsure nature of the narrator, not knowing what was true vs fake about the relationship between them and the subject. These phrases being included also give a sense of vulnerability of the narrator, and makes the poem look and read in an interesting way.

✦ The repeated motif of religious sacrifice is also really beautiful and haunting in a way. It's clear that the narrator is bitter that the subject (you) is more focused on clearing their name rather than actually caring about the harm done to the narrator. The seek to reconcile with the divine for their own conscious, rather than reconcile with the person who was effected the most by their actions. What an amazing comparison that is full of emotion.

✦ There are moments in this poem that can ALMOST seem redundant. However, I think the length of this poem, and the grueling details and emotions are intentional in order to convey the pain and chaos within the mind of the narrator. It shows a sense of madness. When the poem begins to feel repetitive, it takes a turn. This is done really well through the language, the metaphors, and the words in brackets. It doesn't pull the reader OUT of the poem, but rather, reels them deeper in.

I absolutely love this poem. You have such a way of expression that feels new and horrific in a lovely way.
I always love reading your poetry, I'll probably comb through your portfolio now and read/like/review works I haven't yet!
Much love, G<3

as i read this poem, i more and more felt like the one 'sacrificing'. this poem makes me think of what inhumane things people do with worshipping a divine entity being the excuse for it. the poem has been written really well, i must say, i got goosebumps at one point. a cold betrayal, one that had been prewritten as if it were fate, perhaps the aforementioned 'god's word itself, and the description of the narrators lifeless, wounded body was captured exquisitely, without the use of much graphic language as well.

this is hands down one of the best pieces of poetry i have ever read.

Reading this feels like I’m confessing something I was never meant to survive. I sound bitter, yes—but more than that, I feel exposed, like every line is me trying to make sense of a love that was already preparing to end me. When I say “you loved me in past tense,” it’s not just a line—it’s the moment I realize I was already gone in your mind long before anything actually happened.

There’s anger here, but it’s quiet and heavy, not explosive. I can feel myself lying there, not just physically ruined, but emotionally stripped—realizing that what I thought was love was something colder, something calculated. Even the way I describe the pain feels distant, like I’ve already accepted it, like I’m too tired to fight back against what you chose to do.

And that’s what hurts the most when I read this as myself: not just that you hurt me, but that you convinced yourself it meant something noble. That you wrapped it in sacrifice and devotion, while I’m left here knowing the truth—that it wasn’t fate, or god, or destiny. It was you.