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125,021 Literary Works • 672,744 Reviews
Text version :
head tipped up, so innocent in your joy
i only squint.
the light stings and
i need to bring up my hand to shade
my eyes.
the wind ruffles your hair
gently tossing it around as you laugh
i stand there surrounded by dead air
my hair hanging limp
and the sound of your laughter made a dull
ugly sound
you reach for my hand and
stop yourself,
laughing rubbing your head awkwardly
“Sorry I forgot.”
you don’t need to be sheepish i want to say
you don’t need to be sorry.
i know it’s me who’s broken
what’s the point of liking you
if i can’t even let you touch me?
i’m work. i know.
not easy, not simple, not normal
you don’t understand me
and you soon you won’t want to.
after all, who wants to waste their time
lugging around a glass statue?
i’ll be left behind, watching you walk away
with someone who can feel the sun
and hear your laughter and hold your hand.
left behind just watching i
know it’s inevitable
when i live my life
encased in glass.
aww canopy <\\\3
I'm sorry this feels like this to you, if I interprete the poem correctly!
Which is strange since for me, it's the other people who are weird--with their incessant shows of affection when I instead want to just be friends.
I used to think this would also mean I would forever live alone. That someone who just doesn't want love, doesn't want a person always, always close, was just destined to loneliness.
Like, this speaks to me:
(even tho ppl often describe me as the sun LOL)
But can say: you just have to find the right person who understands you or is at least similar to you (can confirm, works like a charm)
(this is not a review bc I was just rambling. Hope this is ok)
thank you tika <3
Hey there, canopy! This is Alex, here for a review. For quite some time now, I had been thinking how I should really be reading your poems more often, so seeing this in the Green Room was the perfect opportunity. Don't mind if I seize it now~
Firstly, I love the way the structure looks. Center aligning this was definitely the right decisions, the length and shape of the stanzas is just right here- almost like a beat representation of a song if you flip it around.. okay now I'm just talking rubbish, but you know it's my way to saying it gives a melodic impression. There is a version where the line length of stanza is more uniform throughout (like how I write most of the times) and that conveys a certain message while being the more traditional choice in poetry writing. By being different from it, the poem beautifully captures the very message of the poetess being 'different' than the usual crowd. While she means it in a somewhat negative way, the format pattern is only made better by these unpredictable yet satisfying variations. I've always had a fascination with such style, perhaps owing to my personal inability to write in them. All I'm trying to say is that I've barely started reading and the poem already has my heart for all the reasons involved! <3
The contrast in the first two stanzas is incredibly striking, as the reader doesn't usually expect the narrative to get this strong from the beginning. It's introducing the peculiarities of our poetess, or her relatable struggles against the joy of others, or more precisely, the love interest here. The imagery in the first two lines was sooo pulling to begin with, you really know how to set a scene! A warm scene with nature's bliss- only to be burnt by the poetess' ability to face the Sun. It's a comparison not between light tolerance or wind compatibility, but rather a much deeper metaphor to a practical and sorrowful existence as opposed to the gleeful romantic fantasy. The two characters are inherently different and not fit for each other, but more one sided than that is the will of the love interest to try nevertheless. The poetess, as we find out, is sure of desertion soon and sounds like she's even manifesting it. With how good of match she's got in a corner, she could be trying harder, but she chooses not to. Either it's an internal fear of falling on her face, or it's an innate stubbornness to not change her ways, even if they lead to a depressive doom. It's sad to read her situation, so much so that you say sorry, and yet the act of disrespecting the efforts being put in by the love interest just on the presumption that it won't work introduces the reader to the more complex side to the poetess, breaking her helpless victim image and making it tricky to empathise with her entirely. She's not in the frequency of others but is firm on her own. Stuck in herself, knowing well it distances her from potential company- and she makes it sound that she's powerless to her life, though we see her no effort to try. Either she's tired of going the extra mile everytime or she's drowning in her thoughts- but that too doesn't make her pain any less real.
I don't know how I feel about the repetition of the word 'sound' like this, but it definitely has a ring! I fail to see her intended impact though, as the meaning seems a little incomplete. Couldn't the second 'sound' be better substituted by something that adds information, rather hang like that? Hey, this works fantastic, I'm just speculating a greater potential that you could have opted for. But then again, I'm not so good with poems anyways so it's totally plausible that I'm just not able to see the whole picture so well. I've pointed out what I thought, I believe you'll know what to do.
I felt this scene could have been phrased to be more clear, as I had a tough time visualising the action. How about something along the lines of 'rubbing the back of your neck hesitantly/awkwardly'? Just a thought! Feel free to keep your version if think it fits better to what you were going for.
These lines are so concentrated canopy!! Ahhh I can't.. it physically hurts to read further, my soul is heavy with the sheer depth of these lines. Trauma is the killer of joy- you've painted that idea here so well that I just can't get enough.
One there's self pitying, the other's very aware. While all the signs point to the former in this poem, I have a gut feeling that it's the latter here, or rather a decent combination of both. The tone is serious and explaining here, but it doesn't seem like wallowing really. If anything, it could come across at tired- of being such and having no energy to fight your making anymore. I think it passes as dejected, which is accompanied by a final acceptance. Alas, it doesn't happen in a netural fashion either, as we see the poetess distance herself from all future prospects because of it- as if she thinks herself unworthy of love and that no one should have to face the unfortunate fate of being with her. Really catches the butterflies in my stomach and twist them apart- wings and flesh separated and crushed.
Ahhhh SHATTERING, it's just too good canopy ToT and hit close to home, you really know how to make a reader regret coming here (in the most amazing way possible, of course!). Definitely my favourite lines, given how precise and relevant it sounds.
Oh the plight, knowing they'll find someone who is all the things you were not, and would be happier because of it- absolutely heartbreaking. Hugs because it shows how much broken one must be to write this <3
I just can't say perfectly the 'i' sits there, it almost sounds the break of the voice/flow is because the poetess is suppressing her tears, or taking a moment to complete the poem before she breaks. The emotional investment is made so evident, that the weight of it begins even more grave that it already was. You really outdid yourself here!
The juxtaposition with this two is sooooo rewarding to witness, I've been blessed. The timing is impeccable too, you couldn't have delivered a more perfect end. The best written part of the poem, the thought that must have went behind it beautifully came through! From being glass to being trapped in it- as she's limited by the boundaries she traps herself in. Very resonating and a poetic masterpiece!
You really touched me with this one, I think I needed this review more than. Anyways, it was an absolute pleasure like always. Happy writing, hope to read more from you soon! Until next time ~
Love,
Alex
Hello Alex, thank you for the review. There are some things I want to clarify,
You seem to have misinterpreted the poem slightly, it is not a choice to react this way. The poem is about being acespec or being on the aromantic and asexual spectrum and therefore the reactions are not a choice. It is not a "stubbornness" to "change her ways". It's just how I exist.
Being encased in glass isn't something you choose, why would you erect a barrier between what yourself and what you want? Or are taught to want? or the only thing you know how to want?
I'm not sure what led you to infer this, maybe if you could specify that? The whole idea of this was to give allosexuals an idea of what it feels like to the acespec (for me at least) and it's pointless if that doesn't come across.
Ah, my bad! Now that you say it, it does seem to (I can only guess, not being ace myself) capture the asexual experience rather well. I didn't necessarily mean it was a choice either, but I guess my misinterpretation shall justify why I thought that. The tone of the poem is overall generic, being relatable to the degree it can pull all kinds of readers into it. And that's an awesome thing! Not being able to face the Sun (though I now get that smiling under it must be a metaphor for feeling love) and the air not being as playful to you are both easy to take as imagery meant to establish loneliness/isolation, bad luck or depression which makes such appear as the case. I get now that while you may have wanted to convey these same feelings, the bigger picture was very specific. But yes, if you take wind and Sun for their association in romantic poems, a lack thereof can portray being aromatic effortlessly. I think it's a matter of perspective, an asexual person is sure to get the message more effortlessly due to them resonating themselves. Also, I mistook the 'glass' as hesitancy or reserved nature from a imaginary heterosexual or untold voice. Basically comparing it to the saying 'building walls around yourself'. Actually this poem heavily reminded me of the song 'Paper Crown' by Alec Benjamin so I subconsciously picked the entire meaning up from there- I believe that's the best way I can explain what I guessed the poem was about. The girl in the poem is reserved by nature, and is thus letting a chance at love slip due to her insecurities and fear for the worst. Technically, such thoughts are not chosen either, but I can see how really nothing can be done in this situation at hand. Calling out the narrator's hypocritical behaviour wasn't intended as such, rather me viewing things from an outside perspective at a scene that must be really vulnerable. So I wasn't analysing her, but the complex human nature overall.
For your theme, I wholeheartedly agree. I think it goes by the argument of who'd choose to be gay (sorry I'm just trying to make sense based of what I know). But applied to life in general? There are a billion reasons out there, canopy. People often choose a glass cage just to avoid getting hurt. Other times, we do things that know harm us, acting as a glass barrier between us and a happy life. From doomscroll to addiction- it's partly a choice, but partly not. Either way, it's irrelevant to this poem.
About the not getting across bit, don't heed my novice poetry judgement too much. I often struggle at decoding it still and I'm sure someone who knows what they're doing will know it right (especially given it's already a recurring theme in your poems). Obviously the people sharing the same struggles are bound to get it more easily than others but given how much how well the ace experience can be narrated with the poem, I wouldn't really say you've fallen short in any way whatsoever. It will fall in place with the right read. And it's me, not you. Good day!
I don't generally write reviews but this one genuinely did something to my heart. It's so heartbreakingly beautiful I was left at a loss of words. To be honest, I had to read it more than once because of the feelings that it evoked. Truly, what does one mean when they say "encased in glass" (as it is also the name of the poem)? And who is building this encased glass? Why is it specifically glass? It leaves me with so many questions but then again we also see the poem describing a second person- the subject, more than the speaker which probably shows how much the speaker cares about the person. But honestly, I want to read more of the speaker than the person they're describing. Overall, so beautiful, I'm totally saving it to read it later.
Thank you for the review! The poem is actually about how I feel as someone on the ace spectrum, if that helps you understand it better :3
so incredibly gorgeous
Thank you so much chi!! Means a lot to me <3
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL and encapsulates the acespec experience :0 i love this so much aaAAaaakakajsmskakajs
Thanks youuu!!! means a lot <3