Once Upon a Time a Long Time Ago....

by canopy

Published May 10, 2024

12+

In Poetry....

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Fair warning: mentions of death. 



Once upon a time a long time ago,

In a place far, far away,

There stood two kingdoms, much unlike our own.

They were two in name only,

Their queens were proud and fair and true.

Their people honest and kind.

Those who stood by each other in sorrow and joy.

The people revered their queens, who loved their people and wished their neighbours goodwill.


Once upon a time a long time ago,

In a place far, far away,

There stood two kingdoms, much unlike our own.

Where a madman became king.

He vowed and he pledged,

To destroy all, to kill all,

He vowed and pledged the destruction of all harmony.

And so he started a war.

He attacked and so the kingdoms fought.

They fought and fought and fought,

Never relenting, never stopping.

They fought.


Once upon a time, a long time ago.

In a place far, far way,

There stood two crumbling kingdoms, much unlike our own.

For there was barely anybody left.

The war they had fought,

The war for honour and glory, pride and victory had claimed them.

There were a precious, precious few left.


Once upon a time, a long time ago,

In a place far, far away,

There stood two flourishing towns, built on the ruins of two kingdoms, both nearly forgotten, much unlike our own.

The two towns thrived,

They flourished and grew.

Their people honest and kind and true.

But each town hated the other.

For in each town there was a myth, a lore, a song, a hymn that spoke of their ancient queen,

Kind and honest and true,

Beloved and loved by all.

Their ancient queen, who was taken down, backstabbed and destroyed by their neighbour.

Now both were lost, both were gone.

Now only ruins were left.

Each day the songs got louder, the myth stronger, the story longer.

The hatred deeper.

And then came war.


Once upon a time, a long time ago,

In place far, far away,

Stood the ruins of two kingdoms, in a world much unlike our own,

For there was no one left.

No one to grieve, to mourn, to gather the dead.

No one left to set fire to the crypt, no one left to cry,

To despair, to work.

There was no one left to live.

Those left over by the war fought for honour, for glory, for pride and for victory,

For the past.

All had died, hatred in their eyes and death in their midst.


Once upon a time, a long time ago,

In a place that once could be found, once where stood the remains of two kingdoms lost to time.

Where a madman’s laughter danced through the ruins, down to the silent street, past the abandoned homes into the ground full off bones.

The madman’s laughter echoed. 

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
HildeMint
Review
HildeMint wrote a review Review · May 12, 2024

WOW! ok this is awesome. I love the way that at the beginning of each stanza it repeats the title. The madman really showcases how much one person can effect so many other people's lives. I agree with the other reviewer, it does seem like a ballad. It really showcases the pointlessness of war, and how continuing to hold grudges will just destroy everyone around you. I mean, the two towns didn't even remember the madman and the queens very well, they had passed into myth, but still, on the basis of those myths, everyone went to war, and then everyone is dead. And even though the madman is dead, he still wins

canopy replied · May 12, 2024

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it!

User avatar
KaavyaK
Review
KaavyaK wrote a review Review · May 10, 2024

Nice poem written by the author.

This poem sounds more like a ballad, and it is so similar to the 'Ballad of Semer water' which I read long time ago.

"Now both were lost, both were gone.
Now only ruins were left.
Each day the songs got louder, the myth stronger, the story longer.
The hatred deeper.
And then came war."
The author wants to explain how all those happy, joyful can turn into the days full of misery and gloom.
The 'madman' is an absurd and selfish personality described by the author throughout the poem and on the contrary, the 'queen' is showcased as a quite strong character, she is dear to her people of the kingdom, she is 'fair and true' and her people also value that and stay honest with her and each other.
I also liked how the author explained how greed can take over a person's mind and can make them do bad things.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.

canopy replied · May 10, 2024

Thank you so much for the review!! I really appreciate it, I'm certainly going to to try and find and read "Ballad of Semer Water"



You'd better wise up, Pony... you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you, man.
— Dallas Winston, The Outsiders