The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Twenty One • Young Writers Society

The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Twenty One

July 29, 2019
Novel / Chapter: Action / Adventure, Fantasy
5 comments (5 reviews)

Zoltar followed Emerald deeper into the cave, the light from outside fading, replaced by the electric blue gleaming from the glow worms carpeting the cave walls and ceiling. The gentle murmur of the stream grew louder as the drum of the rain died away.

As he walked along, Zoltar’s thoughts wondered. How strange was this? If someone had told him a week ago that he’d be relying on a Wisp Talon to help him, he’d have thought that dragon was crazy. Yet here he was, following Emerald into the unknown, because she’d said she’d help him.

A small smile crossed his snout as he huffed in amusement. He could only imagine what Hisster’s reaction would be if he told him.

How things had changed in the last few days. He’d made friends with an Ice Talon; a tribe that the Shadow Talons barely interacted with, let alone socialized with. He was living with and talking to a Sea Talon. That was almost as bad as talking to a Wisp Talon. Hisster would go off his rocker if he knew about that. Finally, he was being friendly with a Wisp Talon and possible making friends with her. He, himself didn’t even know how that had happened.

Things were certainly not going the way he’d expected, but somehow he wouldn’t want it any other way. If it wasn’t for these “hostile” dragons he wouldn’t be here. They’d saved him on more than one occasion and hadn’t had any real reason to do so. He still didn’t understand it, but he was thankful for it.

“Here we are,” Emerald said as they walked into a cavern, the sound of the stream now loud and clear as it gurgled along.

Wow,” Zoltar murmured, gazing in wonder at the world around him.The ceiling twinkled like a clear night sky, the sapphire gleam of the glow worms pulsing like the light of a million stars. The floor was carpeted in soft vines, each seeming to radiate its own brilliant emerald light. The stream rushed through the cavern, tossing deep purple spray as it whipped past the creepers growing along its bank.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said as he turn in a slow circle, taking in the scene around him.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Emerald smiled, looking back at him, “It’s why Lera and I loved this place so much. It’s like another world all of our own.”

Zoltar walked up to the stream, almost forgetting the sharp stabs of pain slicing along his wings. He stared into the inky water. Flashes of white swam in the depths, darting through the water like shooting stars.

“I can’t believe a place like this exists. The Shadow Lands were beautiful before the volcano erupted, but there was nothing like this.” Zoltar turned back to Emerald, who was picking some violet flowers growing on the glowing vines, “What are those for?”

“The flowers seem to have healing properties. Lera and I came here one time when I had finished a hunt and I had a few cuts. I happened to lie down in the flowers for a little while and around an hour or so later the cuts had disappeared. I come here to heal any injuries I have. Though I’ve never tried them on wounds as deep as yours. I’m not sure how well they’ll work, but they should at least help,” she said as she carried the flowers over to him.

Zoltar lay down on the vines and allowed her to gently place the flower petals along his back and wings. It stung at first, but slowly a cold wave passed over his body, cooling the burning heat throbbing through his scales.

“Aaahh. Thank you,” Zoltar sighed, relaxing as the pain faded away. He placed his head on his paws, the honey sweet scent of the flowers filling his snout.

“That’s okay,” Emerald said, settling just a little way off.

Time past slowly as the gently gurgle of the river filled the cavern. It was so peaceful, so different from the world outside. A part of Zoltar wished he could just stay here for ever. Forget about the trouble in the Shadow Lands, leave the wars and fighting behind.

He knew he couldn’t though. This was a short respite. He had responsibilities and dragons depended on him. He had to complete the quest.

Still, tonight had brought up a few doubts. He didn’t feel so sure about the Wisp Talons anymore. On one paw he saw them as monsters, but after meeting Emerald he wasn’t so sure. She’d helped him out of the kindness of her heart, helping to heal his injuries. Was that the actions of a monster?

What was he going to do? He could no longer ignore the fact that there was more in play here. The Wisp Talons were in a terrible situation. It wasn’t their fault that their leaders made them act so violently towards outsiders. He didn’t have all the information yet, but he had enough to see that they weren’t at fault. So how could he justify taking their land away from them? Back before Nira and Scorpus’s death, he’d wanted to make peace with them before violence. Shouldn’t he try that again now that he knew the truth?

If he could make peace with the Wisp Talons, he wouldn’t need to go on this ridiculous quest and more importantly, they wouldn’t need the Ghost Talons.

A part of him cringed at the thought of them. How would they take it if Zoltar and Hisster turned down their offer? Would Hisster even agree to that?

He groaned quietly. There was so much that could go wrong, but he was getting a head of himself. He first had to make peace with the Wisp Talons before even thinking about the other problems.

Of course it wasn’t exactly that cut and dry with the Wisp Talon leaders and whatever these Death Grippers were, but there had to be a way around that? The question was how?

He glanced over at Emerald. She had her snout turned towards the river. Her eyes were closed, but Zoltar could see her ears flick every once in a while.

Maybe he could start by trying to genuinely become her friend? He didn’t know if it would help with the whole situation, but it was the least he could do after what she’d done for him. She could give him information and he could see he could help her.

Though again that brought up another problem. How was he going to tell her all this?

He shook his head. It was too early for that. She was having enough trouble talking to him. Bring all this into the situation would break it. He’d have to see how things went first. Besides, after what had happened to her sister, she seemed like she needed some friendship.

“Hey, Emerald?”

“Mmmhh,” She didn’t open her eyes, but her ears turned in his direction.

“Thank you again for what you’ve done. I know the risks you’re taking by doing this and I can’t express how thankful I am for your help.”

Emerald lifted her head and looked at him, her sapphire eyes burning in the dim light, “It’s my pleasure.” She yawned, “Get some sleep now. It will help speed up the healing.” She nestled back down into the bed of vines, curling into a tight ball, her tail wrapped around her.

“Night,” Zoltar tucked his head beneath one wing, the darkness enveloping him. The murmur of the stream grew soft as sleep slowly overcame him and the world faded.

Comments

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Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:31 pm

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Necromancer14 wrote a review...

Hello! Here I am, back for another review.

Here's my review:

Okay, so I liked Zoltar's thought patterns in this. Actually, that's basically what this chapter was about - Zoltar considering some options he hadn't thought about before. I also liked him imagining Hisster's reactions to stuff XD that was great.

As he walked along, Zoltar’s thoughts wondered.

I think you meant to write "Zoltar's thoughts wandered" because "wondered" means you're wondering something. An example would be "I wondered why my ice cream melted." So, I think you meant "wandered" which means moving around. (I'm guessing you already know the difference between the words and if you really did mean "wondered" than sure but it would be a tad confusing.)

How things had changed in the last few days. He’d made friends with an Ice Talon; a tribe that the Shadow Talons barely interacted with, let alone socialized with. He was living with and talking to a Sea Talon. That was almost as bad as talking to a Wisp Talon. Hisster would go off his rocker if he knew about that. Finally, he was being friendly with a Wisp Talon and possible making friends with her. He, himself didn’t even know how that had happened.

I liked this paragraph. It was a cunning way to add a recap and of course my favorite part was "Hisster would go off his rocker..." XD. (Sorry I'm easily amused)

Wow,” Zoltar murmured, gazing in wonder at the world around him.The ceiling twinkled like a clear night sky, the sapphire gleam of the glow worms pulsing like the light of a million stars. The floor was carpeted in soft vines, each seeming to radiate its own brilliant emerald light. The stream rushed through the cavern, tossing deep purple spray as it whipped past the creepers growing along its bank

I agree with Zoltar with the "wow" factor. Those are some amazing descriptions.

Still, tonight had brought up a few doubts. He didn’t feel so sure about the Wisp Talons anymore. On one paw he saw them as monsters, but after meeting Emerald he wasn’t so sure. She’d helped him out of the kindness of her heart, helping to heal his injuries. Was that the actions of a monster?

Zoltar readjusting his thoughts. Things are definitely getting morally complicated for him.

Maybe he could start by trying to genuinely become her friend? He didn’t know if it would help with the whole situation, but it was the least he could do after what she’d done for him. She could give him information and he could see he could help her.

I think you meant to write "She could give him information and he could see if he could help her"

Emerald lifted her head and looked at him, her sapphire eyes burning in the dim light, “It’s my pleasure.” She yawned, “Get some sleep now. It will help speed up the healing.” She nestled back down into the bed of vines, curling into a tight ball, her tail wrapped around her.

All these female dragons are being so nice to Zoltar... hmm... I wonder if he's a tad attractive looking...

Then again Shiraku hated him at first sight, so never mind.

Anyway, this was another great chapter! I also apologize for not being able to find anything to criticize for you to improve on, besides grammar and a little spelling. I honestly really do like this story and I don't feel that it needs to be improved. The plot is intriguing, the character's are interesting (though I suppose you could probably separate their personalities a bit, so I guess your character building isn't 100% perfect. What I mean is that you're character's personalities are deep, they're just all similar. There. That's my critique for the day.) and the descriptions are wonderful.

felistia says...

Thank you again for another great review. I do agree that my characters personalities could be changed a bit. I'm planning to do that on the next edit.

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Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:49 am

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KateHardy wrote a review...

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And that's three fourths of the way through this first book,

First Impression: This got really interesting now. Feels a bit strange that he just so happens to run into a bunch of healing flowers but then it also does a really good job of showing how Emerald and Zoltar are starting to understand each other based on their common grief so it's okay.

Zoltar followed Emerald deeper into the cave, the light from outside fading, replaced by the electric blue gleaming from the glow worms carpeting the cave walls and ceiling. The gentle murmur of the stream grew louder as the drum of the rain died away.

That must be some storm to be raging on for several hours.

How things had changed in the last few days. He’d made friends with an Ice Talon; a tribe that the Shadow Talons barely interacted with, let alone socialized with. He was living with and talking to a Sea Talon. That was almost as bad as talking to a Wisp Talon. Hisster would go off his rocker if he knew about that. Finally, he was being friendly with a Wisp Talon and possible making friends with her. He, himself didn’t even know how that had happened.

Another place where I hope we get to learn more on why the various tribes are so separated from each other.

Wow,” Zoltar murmured, gazing in wonder at the world around him.The ceiling twinkled like a clear night sky, the sapphire gleam of the glow worms pulsing like the light of a million stars. The floor was carpeted in soft vines, each seeming to radiate its own brilliant emerald light. The stream rushed through the cavern, tossing deep purple spray as it whipped past the creepers growing along its bank.

Beautiful description as always.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said as he turn in a slow circle, taking in the scene around him.

That should be turned.

Zoltar lay down on the vines and allowed her to gently place the flower petals along his back and wings. It stung at first, but slowly a cold wave passed over his body, cooling the burning heat throbbing through his scales.

Emerald is coming off as a very innocent and dutiful character here. Very interesting indeed.

Still, tonight had brought up a few doubts. He didn’t feel so sure about the Wisp Talons anymore. On one paw he saw them as monsters, but after meeting Emerald he wasn’t so sure. She’d helped him out of the kindness of her heart, helping to heal his injuries. Was that the actions of a monster?

What was he going to do? He could no longer ignore the fact that there was more in play here. The Wisp Talons were in a terrible situation. It wasn’t their fault that their leaders made them act so violently towards outsiders. He didn’t have all the information yet, but he had enough to see that they weren’t at fault. So how could he justify taking their land away from them? Back before Nira and Scorpus’s death, he’d wanted to make peace with them before violence. Shouldn’t he try that again now that he knew the truth?

I like how he is now getting second thoughts. It shows that he doesn't want to just carry a grudge but accepts that he might be wrong about the Wisp Talons.

If he could make peace with the Wisp Talons, he wouldn’t need to go on this ridiculous quest and more importantly, they wouldn’t need the Ghost Talons.

A part of him cringed at the thought of them. How would they take it if Zoltar and Hisster turned down their offer? Would Hisster even agree to that?

At this point the way you mentioned how backing out from it would be fatal it,, seems odd that he is even considering it. Also I love how this will now open up some conflicting emotions on whether he should complete the quest and doom the Wisp Talons who for the most part seem good.

Maybe he could start by trying to genuinely become her friend? He didn’t know if it would help with the whole situation, but it was the least he could do after what she’d done for him. She could give him information and he could see he could help her.

So he was being manipulative the first time around. Interesting.

Emerald lifted her head and looked at him, her sapphire eyes burning in the dim light, “It’s my pleasure.” She yawned, “Get some sleep now. It will help speed up the healing.” She nestled back down into the bed of vines, curling into a tight ball, her tail wrapped around her.

That seems odd. She wasn't going to kill him but she wasn't exactly all for helping him until she brought him to the cave after he tried to be her friend.

And that's it. He has fallen asleep behind yet another 'hostile' dragon species.

Overall: Well this is getting interesting now. The plot continues to thicken and it looks like we won't be doing much of quest for some more time.

Anyway as always Take what you think helps and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

felistia says...

Thank you again for another review. When it comes to editing I'll probably add in more thoughts about being around hostile dragon species. I'll need to tweak it a bit I think. A lot of it comes down to Zoltar's personality and I think it would help if I showed more of that in the earlier chapters.

KateHardy says...

Your Welcome!! Hmm... that sounds good.

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Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:49 pm

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Lib wrote a review...

Hello feli!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review, so let's get started!

I'm gunna start with the critiques first. :p I didn't see much problems, but I do suggest that you watch out for your spelling.

As he walked along, Zoltar’s thoughts wondered.

I think you meant "wandered" instead of "wondered".

Finally, he was being friendly with a Wisp Talon and possible making friends with her.

For "possible", I think you forgot to add the "y" and delete the "e". "Possibly".

Time past slowly as the gently gurgle of the river filled the cavern.

Instead of "past", it would be "passed". ^^ Alright, so not much happened in this chapter. It seems as if it's night time and they're sleeping. But only a while ago, Zoltar, Shiraku, and Felistia had woke up to go hunting... Not sure, lol.

Also, Zoltar does a lot of thinking. I don't think I even do that much thinking, heh, but I like it. :p I think he might really befriend Emerald. He's taking it easy. A bit too easy, if you ask me. The quest that he was doing, he seems to be slowing down. I wonder if he'll just tell Emerald what he wants. She seems very understanding. Yeah. So that's it for my review. uwu

One last thing I just noticed, Zoltar's in between three dragonesses. Wonder how that'll turn out, lol.

Anyways, I hope this review helped in some way or the other. Of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me whenever!

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty

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Tue Jul 30, 2019 2:46 pm

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Awru wrote a review...

Hullo!!Here to get one of my fav dragons out of the green room.Who knew the dudes who killed Nira a.k.a the Wisp Talons could be so friendly.Anyhow I am falling in love with Emerald.Why is she soooo adorbs but maybe her loss has got out this soft side of hers.I really enjoyed your description of the cave.It felt like i could hear the rushing of water.I feel like all this Zoltar not telling his actual intentions to 3 agressive ladies can lead to a lot of complications.Especially when Hisster will come to know what zoltar is doing i don't think he is going to pat him on the back.He just cares about their iwn well being and since he is the leader there is no blaming him.And you also mentioned about the reason this whole war between dragons starting is pretty spicy.I am just sooooooo curious

Keep Up the Excellent Work :smt023

peace out

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Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:42 pm

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JabberHut wrote a review...

It feels weird to say Zoltar is living with a Sea Talon since it's only been a couple days? And in fact, he only slept in their cave maybe a couple nights? (I think it's been only two, can't remember.) But he's certainly working with a Sea Talon or at least teaching her to hunt.

He knew he couldn’t though. This was a short rest bit.

Another instance where I say I don't normally correct spelling, but I think you're going for the word "respite" here.

Oof, it's been so long now I don't remember what time of day it is, so I'm gonna just go with it and assume it is, in fact, nighttime. Definitely check the times though and make sure it lines up if you haven't already!

This was a lovely chapter, a quiet one that involved getting Zoltar healed up and befriending Emerald. Not much else has happened though outside of Zoltar's thoughts, so there's not much to add.

After reading through some of Zoltar's thoughts, though, it makes me just wonder absently how this plot is going to move forward! It sounded like he was on a pretty long quest, and we still haven't covered the first step. So I assume this is gonna get pretty lengthy, which is totally good with me!

In fact, it just occurred to me that since this chapter is so short and unexciting, it almost feels like it could join up with the previous chapter. I don't know if the chapters on YWS align with what you have in your document (since YWSers get a bit blinded by long posts AND your first chapter or two were so beautifully lengthy compared to the following chapters).

I know Zoltar mentioned the idea of not even needing the Ghost Talons and canceling the whole quest, but that seems like a major disappointment after all this build-up for it, so I kidna hope that doesn't unless it just makes sense. (To be honest, I can't even remember what this quest is for. A stone or ruby or something? Zoltar does a great job thinking through his quest, so adding subtle reminders for the reader as to what we're trying to get will help.)

Anyhoot! All speculation at this point! Looking forward to more.

Jabber, the One and Only!

felistia says...

Thank you again for another review.

I plan to split this story into three books, each with specific arcs.

This one is nearly finished with what I predict to be at maximum 10 more chapters.

I don't post the full chapter on this site as it's really hard to get reviews with long chapters. The last six are meant to be around three chapters.

Don't worry. Zoltar is just thinking, doesn't mean that there's going to be no drama. Lol. There's lots of exciting things that are going to happen. It's so hard not to spill all the beans right now.

(That's what my sister is for. Lol)

Thanks again and I'll see you in the next chapter.

Have a great day.

JabberHut says...

Ahhhhh, yes! Okay, I figured there might be different chapter structure going on. That makes total sense, and I absolutely understand what you mean.

Okay, cool! With that in mind, that probably means he only gets a Wisp Talon plus LOTS of drama, but it's all speculation at this point. I so badly want to find oooout! BUT I SHALL WAIT!

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