z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Twenty Eight

by felistia


Relief swept over Zoltar as he cleared the mist. The silver light of the moon seemed to caress his weary wings as he slowed to a gentle glide. The still ocean stretched for miles in front of him, the clear night sky mirrored in its still waters. They’d made it. They were safe.

He looked over at Emerald, eyeing the long gash on her side. It didn’t look life threatening and the blood was starting to clot so he didn’t have to worry about her losing too much blood. It looked like she’d gotten away with just a rather nasty cut.

Then a wave of cold dread washed over him like ice water. What if the Death Grippers had poison like the Wisp Talons. Nira had had a similar gash and he’d thought she’d be okay only to have her slip from his grasp minutes later. That couldn’t happen again.

“Emerald,” Zoltar tried to hide any alarm his voice, but he could hear that he was worried, “How are you feeling.”

The Wisp Talon looked at him, her sides shaking. It took a moment for her to register his words. “I’ll live,” She followed Zoltar’s eyes, wincing when she saw her injury, “It’s just a surface wound. It will heal. I just don’t want to go through that ever again.” She smiled weakly.

“You don’t feel dizzy or sick in any way?”

“Apart from the, I almost died feeling, I’m okay, just sore that’s all,”

“Good,” Zoltar breathed a quiet sigh of relief, “Just let me know if you start to feel ill in anyway, okay?”

Emerald gave him a weird look, but nodded.

They flew in silence with only the gently lapping of the waves below to break the calm. It was strange to think that only half an hour ago they’d been fighting for their lives. It was so peaceful out here on the ocean. Only the weariness clouding Zoltar’s sight told of the battle they’d just endured.

“What the heck just happened?” Shiraku’s shrill voice shattered the calm night, “And why is there a Wisp Talon following you?”

Zoltar groaned silently, ‘Here we go.’

Felistia glided up to him, “Zoltar, what did happen back there?”

“I guess I do owe you an explanation. I suppose by now you’ve figured out that I’m not who I said I am,” Zoltar said, sucking in a deep sigh as he began his story, “I came to the island investigate it, not because I was an outcast. My tribe wants to move to the island due to a volcanic eruption in my home land and I’m the dragon they chose for the mission. It’s a bit of a long story, but the short version is that I need a Wisp Talons scale, along with an Ice Diamond and an Obsidian Shard.”

“Wait, you’re going to steal an Ice Diamond,” Felistia interrupted, looking sharply at him.

“Yes… I guess,” Zoltar flinched. He’d hoped she wouldn’t be upset about it since she was an outcast, “Is that a problem?”

“No,” Felistia said quickly, shaking her head, “Just surprised you were going the Ice Talon Kingdom. Carry on”

Zoltar nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat, “Well once I have all the pieces, I’m to fly to the Peaks of Solitude to give them to these Riconra dragons in exchange for the Ruby of Fire. My chief made an agreement with the Ghost Talons that involves us giving them the Ruby of Fire in exchange for their help in taking over the Wisp Talon Island. That was the plan anyway when I came to the island, but things have changed. I met Emerald, Shiraku and you, Felistia.”

Zoltar paused, looking at the three dragons around him. Shiraku had a smug, but for some reason slightly shaken look on her face while Felistia was watching him intently. Emerald hadn’t made eye contact with him, but Zoltar could see her ears twitching ever so often, so he knew she was listening.

Taking another deep breath, he continued, “Once I met you three I realized that dragons from other tribes don’t have to be my enemies. Most of the time you’re caught up in the system you live in and are forced to do things you otherwise wouldn’t. Emerald here for example is a Wisp Talon. I’ve seen her kind kill two of my tribe mates and close friends. Because of this I came to think that all Wisp Talons were the enemy and that they should be eradicated, but then I met Emerald. I was a complete stranger and yet she saved me after those raptors attacked us. Remember Felistia?”

She slowly nodded, “You stayed back to allow me and Shiraku to escape.”

“Yes. Emerald could have killed me. It would have been in her best interest too, but instead she helped me and healed me. It taught me that I shouldn’t hate a dragon just because of their tribe and I guess that’s what changed my mind about the Wisp Talons and you.”

Emerald smiled, brushing a wing tip along Zoltar’s wing.

“Now I’m going to use the Ruby of Fire and Ghost Talons to help Emerald free her tribe from her leaders, who are the ones murdering dragons for their own gain. They wanted to kill Emerald just to shut her up. That’s why her and I had to leave the island is such a hurry. I wanted to explain this to you in a much calmer setting, but unfortunately it didn’t work out that way. I’m very sorry about that.”

He paused, hoping that Shiraku or Felistia might have something to add, but they were silent.

“Anyway, once the Wisp Talon leaders are gone, my tribe and Emeralds are going to live peacefully on the island together. You could live there too, once we’ve freed the island anyway.Though it’s your choice whether you want to come with Emerald and me or go your own way. I’ll respect whatever you decide. Just know that you’re welcome to join us.”

Shiraku didn’t make sound. She instead dropped back a few wing beats, gliding low over the ocean waters. Felistia looked deep in thought and was staring down at the indigo waves below. Zoltar didn’t really expect them to answer him. He’d just unloaded a lot of information on them. He was sure there’d be questions later, but right now they must have a lot on their mind.

Soon the mainland was in sight, the strip of land growing larger with every wing beat. Before long Zoltar could see the rich green forests of the Moon Talon coast.

The smell of freshly turned dirt mixed with the salty sea air filled his snout as he swooped in and landed on the thin strip of beach, spraying pebbles in all directions. He heard the others touchdown close by. He looked around to see Felistia walk past him and up the beach towards the forest. Her tail lashed as she stalked over a sand dune. Shiraku followed. Soon both dragons were hidden behind the dune.

Zoltar left them alone. They probably were a bit angry with him and he couldn’t blame them. He had deceived them. They probably were talking about whether or not they should leave. He hoped they’d stay, but something told him they’d probably leave. They’d only known him a few days after all and for most of that time he’d been lying to them. There was no real reason for them to stick around.

He looked over at Emerald who was licking the wound along her side. It was starting to look inflamed.

Scanning the trees around him, Zoltar spied the vine he was looking for. He pulled off some of its leaves, crushing them in his talons. He then walked over to Emerald, “Here these should help. My tribe uses them for wounds like this. It helps draw out any infection and will help with the healing.” He placed the mashed leaves on her side, pressing gently.

Emerald flinched at first, but moments later a look of relief flooded her face and she relaxed, “Thank you Zoltar, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it,” Zoltar smiled, sitting down beside her, “It’s the least I could do after what you did for me in the cave.”

Emerald huffed, a small smile spreading across her snout, “It’s hard to believe that was only a few nights ago. Who would have known we’d be here now.” She snorted a half laugh, “I almost died back there.” She yawned, stretching out across the sand, “Thank you for saving me and tell the Ice Talon that I’m grateful for her help too. I probably wouldn’t have made it without her help.”

“I’ll tell her you said thank you.” Zoltar brushed her back with his wing, whispering, “You should sleep now. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Okay,” Emerald sighed closing her eyes, “It’s so warm, and comfortable on the sand. I’ve never been on a beach before, let alone slept on one.” She sighed contentedly, her scales shifting to a rolling carpet of light and dark blues.

He stayed with her for a little while, until her breathes were deep and even. Quietly he got to his feet and walked further down the beach, letting his tail and paws trail in the lapping waves. Staring up at the star cloaked sky, he sighed. So much had happened in the last few hours. He was having trouble getting to grips with it all. Shaking his head, he tried to quieten his mind. He could think about it tomorrow on the flight to the Ice Talon Kingdom. He’d have plenty of time then. For now he was content to just stare out at the endless blanket of water.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been staring into space when the faint rustling of paws on sand shook him from his thoughts. He turned to see Felistia padding up with the beach towards him. He was about to get to his feet, but she stopped him.

“Don’t get up. I just want to talk to you,” Felistia stood next to Zoltar, staring out across the lapping waters, a steel look set across her face, “I’ve decided to go back to the Ice Talon Kingdom. I’ll stay with you until we reach the border then I’ll go my own way.”

“But how?” Zoltar started, looking at the Ice Talon. She was an outcast. It wasn’t like she could just walk back into the Ice Talon Kingdom. She’d be killed.

“I have my ways,” Felistia hissed, lashing her tail, “Besides I have some unfinished business that I’ve been neglecting for some time now. It’s time I finished it.”

Zoltar got to his paws, stepping back from her a few steps. He’d never seen her angry like this. What had happened between the island and here?

“Anyway, I hope you’ll respect my decision,” Felistia fixed her shimmering gold eyes on his.

Zoltar nodded, blinking and turning away from the hypnotic gaze, “What about Shiraku?”

“She hasn’t decided yet. I suspect she’ll stick around until the Ice Talon border. After that, I don’t know,” Felistia said, her tone softening as she turned to walk back down the beach, “I wish you all the best Zoltar.”

Zoltar watched her go, the two full moons reflected in her silver scales as she disappeared over a sand dune.

“Oh well, I guess that was inevitable.” He sighed softly as he settled back onto the beach a little ways from the sea. Of course she wasn’t going to stick around. She had a life of her own. He’d been foolish to hope otherwise. He wasn’t sure how she’d get back into the Ice Talon Kingdom or why she’d want to, but that was her business. It wasn’t his place to interfere.

Besides he had more important matters to tend to. He needed to get to the Ice Talon Kingdom and steal an Ice Diamond. How he was going to do this on his own, he had no idea. He’d hoped that Felistia would help, but that was out of the question now and he couldn’t rely on Emerald’s help. She couldn’t venter into the Ice Talon Kingdom, not without being a fire breather. She’d freeze in hours. He’d have to leave her at the border for a few days. He wasn’t sure how she’d respond to this, but he could talk to her about it later. For now he had focus on the journey.

It was at least a day’s flight to the Ice Talon Kingdom in good weather. He could talk to Emerald about the plan on the way. As for how he’d steal the Diamond, he’d have to work on that once he’d reached the border. He knew the rough layout of the Ice Talon Kingdom, but not the palace where the Ice Diamonds were kept. He’d have to wing it. Not like he hadn’t been do that up until now.

Zoltar rubbed the aching spot between his horns. A horn ache was coming on. It always happened when he worried like this. He just needed to calm down and see what the new day would bring. For now he had to get a good night’s sleep. It was past midnight already and with a whole day’s flying tomorrow he needed a rest.

Trying to calm the swarm of thoughts buzzing through his head, Zoltar rolled onto his side and rested his head on a small rise. Staring up at the endless tapestry of stars, he took a deep breath of the cool night air. Everything would be fine. It had to be.Closing his eyes, his thoughts soon faded into black as he slipped into a deep sleep.


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Wed Aug 12, 2020 5:55 pm
Necromancer14 wrote a review...



All right! I see that this is the last chapter.

Here's my review:

Then a wave of cold dread washed over him like ice water. What if the Death Grippers had poison like the Wisp Talons.


The first sentence here was nicely descriptive, but the second one I feel should really have ended with a question mark, because it was a question, not a statement or command.

but he could hear that he was worried, “How are you feeling.”


"How are you feeling" is also a question, and I feel that it should also end with a question mark.

“Just let me know if you start to feel ill in anyway, okay?”


Just a grammar thing; "Anyway" should be separated into "any" and "way" because when they are together as "anyway" that's a whole different word that doesn't make sense here.

“What the heck just happened?” Shiraku’s shrill voice shattered the calm night, “And why is there a Wisp Talon following you?”

Zoltar groaned silently, ‘Here we go.’


Oof, now's the time when Zoltar has to explain to Shiraku and Felistia what is going on.

He’d just unloaded a lot of information on them. He was sure there’d be questions later, but right now they must have a lot on their mind.


Zoltar did a good job explaining! Also, everyone else took it quite calmly. They didn't seem to mind at all that he had lied...? I feel like Felistia or Shiraku should've been like "why didn't you just say so and not have made up that story about being an outcast," because I don't think anyone likes being lied to.

He’d been foolish to hope otherwise. He wasn’t sure how she’d get back into the Ice Talon Kingdom or why she’d want to, but that was her business. It wasn’t his place to interfere.


So first Zoltar is assuming they aren't even going to check if he's alive or not after saving their lives, and now he's all of a sudden assuming they're going to be his life friends? Does he have no concept of being in-between two extremes??? I suppose that's an interesting characteristic of him. Unusual flaws can add more personality.

Not like he hadn’t been do that up until now.


I think you meant to write "Not like he hadn't been able to do that up until now," because otherwise this sentence makes no sense.

It had to be.Closing his eyes, his thoughts soon faded into black as he slipped into a deep sleep.


Nice ending to your first book! (Also you need a space between "be" and "Closing.")

Anyway, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.




felistia says...


Thank you for another review. :D



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Wed Jun 17, 2020 6:34 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever it is in your part of the world)

Onto the last review for the day. Reviewathon Day 2 coming to a close.

First Impression: Tying the story off neatly and setting up that next one. Does a great job as the last chapter. Lovely book overall.

He looked over at Emerald, eyeing the long gash on her side. It didn’t look life threatening and the blood was starting to clot so he didn’t have to worry about her losing too much blood. It looked like she’d gotten away with just a rather nasty cut.

Then a wave of cold dread washed over him like ice water. What if the Death Grippers had poison like the Wisp Talons. Nira had had a similar gash and he’d thought she’d be okay only to have her slip from his grasp minutes later. That couldn’t happen again.


Nice throwback to that earlier scene.

The Wisp Talon looked at him, her sides shaking. It took a moment for her to register his words. “I’ll live,” She followed Zoltar’s eyes, wincing when she saw her injury, “It’s just a surface wound. It will heal. I just don’t want to go through that ever again.” She smiled weakly.

“You don’t feel dizzy or sick in any way?”


I think Zoltar should've just straight up asked her if Death Gripper bites were poisonous. She might not have known but it would make sense to ask her that directly than just ask her about feeling dizzy or sick.

“Good,” Zoltar breathed a quiet sigh of relief, “Just let me know if you start to feel ill in anyway, okay?”


In this context that should be two words I believe.

“What the heck just happened?” Shiraku’s shrill voice shattered the calm night, “And why is there a Wisp Talon following you?”


I'm curious as to why it took Shiraku a whole half hour to ask this. Seems like she would've asked earlier or waited till they landed rather than just start asking at a random moment.

“Wait, you’re going to steal an Ice Diamond,” Felistia interrupted, looking sharply at him.

“Yes… I guess,” Zoltar flinched. He’d hoped she wouldn’t be upset about it since she was an outcast, “Is that a problem?”


So I'm assuming Ice Diamonds are valuable artifacts.

“No,” Felistia said quickly, shaking her head, “Just surprised you were goingto the Ice Talon Kingdom. Carry on”


That should be added there.

Taking another deep breath, he continued, “Once I met you three I realized that dragons from other tribes don’t have to be my enemies. Most of the time you’re caught up in the system you live in and are forced to do things you otherwise wouldn’t. Emerald here for example is a Wisp Talon. I’ve seen her kind kill two of my tribe mates and close friends. Because of this I came to think that all Wisp Talons were the enemy and that they should be eradicated, but then I met Emerald. I was a complete stranger and yet she saved me after those raptors attacked us. Remember Felistia?”


I like how he summarizes the character growth that he has had.

I wanted to explain this to you in a much calmer setting, but unfortunately it didn’t work out that way. I’m very sorry about that.”


Couldn't he just put this conversation off till they land and tell it in a calm setting. After escaping and settling down it should be a pretty calm setting.

Soon the mainland was in sight, the strip of land growing larger with every wing beat. Before long Zoltar could see the rich green forests of the Moon Talon coast.


Something I've notice is that Moon Talon's seem to be a peaceful bunch. The spend the night and nothing disturbs them while in the other tribes we've visited there have been lookouts and guards.

Scanning the trees around him, Zoltar spied the vine he was looking for. He pulled off some of its leaves, crushing them in his talons. He then walked over to Emerald, “Here these should help. My tribe uses them for wounds like this. It helps draw out any infection and will help with the healing.” He placed the mashed leaves on her side, pressing gently.


Lovely little scene that is a beautiful throwback to that scene at the very beginning with Nira. So a bit bittersweet.

“Don’t get up. I just want to talk to you,” Felistia stood next to Zoltar, staring out across the lapping waters, a steel look set across her face, “I’ve decided to go back to the Ice Talon Kingdom. I’ll stay with you until we reach the border then I’ll go my own way.”

“But how?” Zoltar started, looking at the Ice Talon. She was an outcast. It wasn’t like she could just walk back into the Ice Talon Kingdom. She’d be killed.

“I have my ways,” Felistia hissed, lashing her tail, “Besides I have some unfinished business that I’ve been neglecting for some time now. It’s time I finished it.”


Ohh it is time for the Frozen Past I see.

Besides he had more important matters to tend to. He needed to get to the Ice Talon Kingdom and steal an Ice Diamond. How he was going to do this on his own, he had no idea. He’d hoped that Felistia would help, but that was out of the question now and he couldn’t rely on Emerald’s help. She couldn’t venter into the Ice Talon Kingdom, not without being a fire breather. She’d freeze in hours. He’d have to leave her at the border for a few days. He wasn’t sure how she’d respond to this, but he could talk to her about it later. For now he had focus on the journey.


Nice little set up for book 2.

He’d have to wing it.


I think that's an accidental pun. I couldn't help but laugh.

Trying to calm the swarm of thoughts buzzing through his head, Zoltar rolled onto his side and rested his head on a small rise. Staring up at the endless tapestry of stars, he took a deep breath of the cool night air. Everything would be fine. It had to be.Closing his eyes, his thoughts soon faded into black as he slipped into a deep sleep.


Aaand cut!! That's a wrap folks!!!

Overall: As I said earlier, lovely ending to the chapter. Can't wait to sink my teeth into the second book come tomorrow. Does a great job of setting up book 2 where it looks like we'll learn more on Felistia. Shiraku remains a bit of a mystery as to what sort of place her character will end up? Obsidian can probably be found from the volcano so that sand comes from the sea maybe? I dunno. Got to read more I suppose.

Anyway that's the end of my reviews for this day. Book 1 done and I managed to finish it faster that I thought I could. Lovely book overall. Book 2 should be just as amazing. I'll try to get through all fifteen of its chapters tomorrow.

It was a pleasure to review this book. It's curtains on Day 2 of the reviewathon.

As always remember to take what you think was useful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




felistia says...


Thank you again for all of your reviews. Look forward to what you think of the second book. :D



KateHardy says...


Your Welcome!! Currently gearing up to review the entire second book hopefully in one day.



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Mon Mar 09, 2020 2:20 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



What a wonderful ending!

This definitely addresses all of the loose ends I had in mind, so it feels very conclusive while still setting up the next installment. It's exciting to think about! And also appropriately bittersweet with just enough unknown to spark curiosity and concern and theory-crafting.

Zoltar is incredibly sweet, honestly. He's such a sweet guy. He pays such good attention to every one of his friends and ensures their safety. He's always seemed more than a soldier because of this, like he's not the typical "trooper" type but rather a protector. I can't help but think he was lucky to find the herb needed to heal Emerald. Is it the same stuff Emerald used on him earlier, like he's learning now how to use herbs for healing? Except that Zoltar said his tribe used this very herb, so maybe they're somewhat close to his home island where he can find such familiar herbs?

But then I'd imagine the Ice Kingdom would be even further away since a volcanic island located near an ice island seems a bit wild to me.

Emerald and Zoltar though. <3 That whole moment was just the sweetest.

I'm so worried about Felistia. She's being so quiet all of a sudden. She's not even exchanging looks with Shiraku, like suddenly each dragon is for him/herself now. It was certainly an infodump though, so the pacing of Felistia processing this new information was well done. Now I'm just curious as to what is on Felistia's mind! What is she after?? What's her REAL story?? She's obviously hiding something, but I wonder if her story was as much a lie as Zoltar's.

And Shiraku! She's rather absent here, too. Though I think that's kind of in her character, she's definitely an anomaly right now. I have no idea what to expect of her or if she even has reason to be traveling with them. What are her goals? What's important to her?

I really love how you set up Zoltar's ice kingdom trip with his newfound relation in Felistia. You tied this super well, so I can see how the next novel's plot can be built. I enjoyed watching Zoltar's development in this installment, recognizing that he can get along with other dragons outside his tribe. I look forward to how the next novel will progress him and his colleagues further!

And possibly more insight into what's REALLY going on in the Wisp Talon island. And hopefully more insight into the Ghost Talons?! I feel like there's a much larger plot buried beneath all this AND I MUST KNOW MORE!!

Congratulations on finishing yoru first book! You have such a beautiful world of dragons, so diverse and magnificent. I enjoy reading this so much and I cannot wait to start reading your second book. Please keep pinging me for more updates!!

KEEP WRITING!!

Jabber, the One and Only!




felistia says...


Thank you so much for the review. It was the highlight of my day.

Happy to hear that you like the way I tied almost everything off while leaving enough to make you want to read the next book. I'm usually not good at tying of books, just starting new ones (Lot's of new ones)Lol.

I'm already working on the first chapter of the second book: Frozen Past. Any guesses as to what it's going to be about.

Hint: The first book was mostly about Zoltar and Emerald. The next ones going to have a lot of Felistia in it and possible some new characters. I'm sure you're going to love it. I'm so excited to write it.

Anyway enough of me rambling on. Thanks again for another review and I'll see you hopefully in the next chapter.



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Sat Mar 07, 2020 7:57 pm
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Lib wrote a review...



Hello felistia!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight. I'm here to drop of a review! Without further ado, let's shimmy right into it, now, shall we? Alrighty.

Before I start though... Congratulations! A whole book done! That's a huge accomplishment, so here:

Spoiler! :
Image


Anyway, I got distracted too easily.

Imma do some real quick nitpicks and then finish off with commenting:

“Apart from the, I almost died feeling, I’m okay, just sore that’s all,”


Apart from the... what? >.>

He turned to see Felistia padding up with the beach towards him.


Wait, Felistia was padding up with the beach towards him? I didn't really get that... ;-;

Well, this was a great chapter overall!

Like you said in your post, you definitely did tie off some loose ends, and it worked really well. The reactions we get from Felistia and Shiraku are completely understandable, and I'm sort of upset to not see them anymore in the next book, but hopefully we get new dragons in then?? We'll have to see what surprises you bring for us in book two. I'm really excited to read it! c:

Anyhoo, I'm really happy with how this has ended. Hope to see more coming soon! Of course, if you have any questions about any of my reviews, feel free to ask me whenever.

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Hedwiggle Potter




felistia says...


Thank you so much for the review. :D




Look, a good poem is a poem that exists. Any poem you write is better than the poem you don't.
— WeepingWisteria