Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure

E - Everyone

The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Twenty Seven

by felistia


Almost immediately, Zoltar lost sight of the beach as the mist swallowed him up. He could hear Emerald and Shiraku behind him, but could just make out their outlines. Emerald was a solid grey color and Zoltar was reminded of the reason she was so scared of the maze. Without her camouflaging abilities and with her venom useless against the Death Grippers, she was helpless.

He motioned for Felistia to drop back as Emerald glided in beside him. Anything could jump out at them in this mist and with the visibility so poor, he needed her near him.

The dark ocean was still as crystal under their wings, not a ripple disturbed the perfect surface. Columns of rock appeared out of nowhere and Zoltar had to swerve violently to avoid flying into them. Their wing beats seemed far too loud and appeared to echo out into the mist.

Zoltar glanced behind him. Everything was draped in a thick white coat. It would be so easy to get turned around in this haze and with the light of day almost gone the mist seemed more like shifting shadows against the dark outlines of the pillars. For a moment, Zoltar wondered what it must be like for the others to fly in this. He had night vision and was finding it hard to keep in the right direction. They must be struggling.

“Not much longer now,” Zoltar called quietly over his wing, try to reassure them. He was going on instinct as to how long they’d been flying, but he knew they still had a lot of ground to cover.

Emerald nodded and passed it on to Felistia and Shiraku. Shiraku was strangely quiet and her glowing golden eyes kept darted from the still water below to Zoltar and back again. Nothing broke the deathly silence hanging over them.

Emerald’s scales were ash grey and shimmered slightly in the dim light sifting through the swirling mist. Her eyes were wide with terror and she was shaking slightly.

“It’s alright Emerald, I won’t let anything hurt you. If they try anything I’ll rip them to shreds and feed them to the fishes,” Zoltar growled, trying to ease Emerald's fear.

“Thanks Zoltar,” Emerald replied weakly, scanning the pillars with wild eyes.

Zoltar followed her gaze and stopped on something clinging to a far column. It was hard to spot in the haze, but as they neared there was no doubt about it, there was something there. He felt Emerald stiffen, she must have seen it too.

“It’s a Death Gripper,” she gasped, faltering in the air, “I just know it is.”

Zoltar hated to admit it, but what else could it be. Claws of fear gripped his chest and an urge to flee raced through his veins. 'No. Not this time,' Zoltar shook himself.

He glanced back at the three dragons behind him. These dragons were his friends and probably the only ones he'd ever have. They'd be helpless if he left them now and even if they did make it through the maze, they'd never trust him again. No. He had to stay with them and lead them through the mist like he’d promised.

“I don’t think it’s spotted us yet. If we fly around it I think we might be able to escape unnoticed,” Zoltar whispered to Emerald who looked quite pale with fright. He glanced at the others behind him and raised a talon to his mouth, motioning to be silent.

For a second Zoltar thought they hadn’t seen him, but then they nodded their heads and flew closer to him, almost gliding their wings beats were so small. Silent as ghosts the four dragons floated past the still figure.

Zoltar’s heart was in his throat as he drifted through the air all the while keeping a close eye on the Death Gripper. The creature wasn’t like the Shang Fu he’d fought a few days earlier. This creature was pitch black with a long serpent like body coiled around the pillar it was resting on. Its razor sharp talons hooked into the rough rock face as it scanned its surroundings, it’s glowing red eyes piercing through the darkness.

Zoltar shivered, but kept going. They were almost out of danger.

Suddenly the Death Gripper snapped its head in their direction. Its crimson eyes burning holes through the mist like search lights. A low growl escaped its fanged jaws, echoing through the gloom.

“Get behind a pillar,” Zoltar hissed, his voice ringing with urgency. Everyone obeyed instantly, scrambling as quietly as possible for shelter. They ducked behind a large column and held their breath, clinging to the rock with trembling claws.

Zoltar’s heart drummed in his ears as he crouched out of view. Emerald looked like she was about to pass out with fright.

“Why don’t we attack it? There’s only one of them,” Shiraku hissed, peeping out from behind the pillar. Her eyes were gleaming with excitement and her tail was lashing back and forth like a whip.

“No,” Zoltar growled almost hysterically, snatching her back, “That’s a lookout. One howl from that thing and the whole pack will come running. We have to wait for him to look the other way, then we’ll keep moving.”

Shiraku fell silent, but her constant twitching and muttering told Zoltar she wasn’t happy about it.

Zoltar peered around the rock face. The Death Gripper was still looking in their direction, huffing as it smelled the air around it. Flexing the small wings on its back, it sprang from one pillar to the next with frightening speed. Black saliva dripped from its sabers as it chattered its teeth in excitement.

Dread swept over Zoltar. It had caught their scent.

The Death Gripper bellowed a long, blood curdling howl. Other calls erupted all around them as other creatures responded. They were surrounded.

“We have to go. Now!” Zoltar yelled, all attempts at silence broken. It didn’t matter.

Springing from the pillar, he beat his wings, bolting through the maze. The others followed not far behind.

They had to get into open air before the pack caught them. He might have been able to fight one or even two, but from the sound of it there could be over twenty Death Grippers hunting them. Even with Felistia and Shiraku’s help, he’d be overwhelmed. Their only hope was the end of the maze.

Rabid screams filled the air as black shapes darted through the haze all around them. They were trying to cut off their escape.

“Hurry,” Zoltar roared, panting as he flew like he’d never flown before.

One of the winged reptiles darted in front of him, landing on a column just a few meters ahead. There was no time to change direction. Heat surged through Zoltar’s body as he prepared to shoot a fire ball.

For a moment Zoltar’s eyes met that of the Death Gripper as it launched towards him, fangs bared, talons spread wide.

Then a burst of white hot light filled the air and the Death Gripper was sent hurtling into the ocean with a deafening splash; steaming.

Just seconds later a fire ball shot from Zoltar’s mouth, careering through empty space. His heart was hammering against his ribs as he looked back at Shiraku. She gave him a quick smile, steam pouring from her jaws.

‘She saved me,’ Zoltar barely had time to register before another Death Gripper screamed out of the darkness into Emerald.

She screamed, spinning in the air in a desperate attempt to knock the creature off. It clung on, almost laughing with glee.

Rage and terror filled Zoltar. This couldn’t be happening. Twisting around, he streaked past Emerald, raking his talons through the Death Gripper’s exposed wings. A horrible ripping sound filled the air closely followed by the Death Gripper’s agonized shriek.

Felistia flashed past Zoltar, slamming her spiked tail into the Death Gripper’s side. With a gurgling scream the creature let go, falling to the sea.

“Go, go, go! “Zoltar yelled as he turned from his dive. The pack had dropped back for the moment, but they wouldn’t for long. This was their chance.

“Just a little longer Emerald. We’re nearly out. Just hold on,” Zoltar urged the Wisp Talon. Thick red blood dripped from wounded along her side, but she keep flying.

Finally, like the sun driving away the night’s shadows, the moon’s light cut through the mist as all four dragons burst from the maze and into the open night sky.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
318 Reviews


Points: 31773
Reviews: 318

Donate
Wed Jun 17, 2020 5:25 pm
View Likes
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

I'm back for the last two reviews of the day and the last two reviews of this book.

First Impression: WOW!! Awesome battle scene!! I hope Emerald survives but then I can't be sure.

Almost immediately, Zoltar lost sight of the beach as the mist swallowed him up. He could hear Emerald and Shiraku behind him, but could just make out their outlines. Emerald was a solid grey color and Zoltar was reminded of the reason she was so scared of the maze. Without her camouflaging abilities and with her venom useless against the Death Grippers, she was helpless.


"could only just" would sound better there I think.

“Not much longer now,” Zoltar called quietly over his wing, try to reassure them. He was going on instinct as to how long they’d been flying, but he knew they still had a lot of ground to cover.


Good to see Zoltar taking charge what with this whole escape thing being his plan and all that.

“It’s alright Emerald, I won’t let anything hurt you. If they try anything I’ll rip them to shreds and feed them to the fishes,” Zoltar growled, trying to ease Emerald's fear.


Good on him for trying to reassure her.

“It’s a Death Gripper,” she gasped, faltering in the air, “I just know it is.”


*edge of the seat with excitement*

Zoltar hated to admit it, but what else could it be. Claws of fear gripped his chest and an urge to flee raced through his veins. 'No. Not this time,' Zoltar shook himself.


I assume he's referring to the result of the previous battle and he's reassuring himself that no one will dies. But the way it is written it is almost like he is telling himself that he won't run away again and that wouldn't be correct because he has never run away from a fight before.

These dragons were his friends and probably the only ones he'd ever have. They'd be helpless if he left them now and even if they did make it through the maze, they'd never trust him again.


Wait, why exactly can he not make any new friends? If he actually manages to save the tribe you'd imagine that everyone would want to be friends.

Zoltar’s heart was in his throat as he drifted through the air all the while keeping a close eye on the Death Gripper. The creature wasn’t like the Shang Fu he’d fought a few days earlier. This creature was pitch black with a long serpent like body coiled around the pillar it was resting on. Its razor sharp talons hooked into the rough rock face as it scanned its surroundings, it’s glowing red eyes piercing through the darkness.


Oooh!! Neat little description of our Death Gripper friend.

Suddenly the Death Gripper snapped its head in their direction. Its crimson eyes burning holes through the mist like search lights. A low growl escaped its fanged jaws, echoing through the gloom.


*almost falls off seat*

“Why don’t we attack it? There’s only one of them,” Shiraku hissed, peeping out from behind the pillar. Her eyes were gleaming with excitement and her tail was lashing back and forth like a whip.


Nice little mention of the sort of character that she is.

The Death Gripper bellowed a long, blood curdling howl. Other calls erupted all around them as other creatures responded. They were surrounded.

“We have to go. Now!” Zoltar yelled, all attempts at silence broken. It didn’t matter.


*falls off the seat*

Then a burst of white hot light filled the air and the Death Gripper was sent hurtling into the ocean with a deafening splash; steaming.


We got a look at Shiraku's full capabilities.

‘She saved me,’ Zoltar barely had time to register before another Death Gripper screamed out of the darkness into Emerald.

She screamed, spinning in the air in a desperate attempt to knock the creature off. It clung on, almost laughing with glee.


Seeing how these creatures are acting at the moment the whole sacrifice one a month thing gets more and more shady.

Felistia flashed past Zoltar, slamming her spiked tail into the Death Gripper’s side. With a gurgling scream the creature let go, falling to the sea.


I was wondering where she went. Why didn't she attempt any ice shards of her own when the Death Gripper attacked? Did she not see it due to poor eyesight in the dark?

Finally, like the sun driving away the night’s shadows, the moon’s light cut through the mist as all four dragons burst from the maze and into the open night sky.


*scrambles back onto the seat and releases breath he did not realize he was holding*

Phew!! That was tense. And we're done.

Overall: Really intense fight scene. Brilliant pacing and just the right length. Please be okay Emerald!!!

As always keep in mind that you should Take what was helpful and forget the rest.

And one more chapter for me to get to before I must call it a night.

Stay Safe
Harry




felistia says...


Thank you again for a review. So glad you liked this scene. It was a lot of fun to write. :D



HarryHardy says...


Your Welcome!!!



User avatar
416 Reviews


Points: 8116
Reviews: 416

Donate
Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:47 pm
View Likes
Liberty wrote a review...



Hey feli!

Hope you're doing well. Back to drop off a review for you. :)

“It’s alright Emerald, I won’t let anything hurt you. If they try anything I’ll rip them to shreds and feed them to the fishes,” Zoltar growled, trying to ease Emerald's fear.

Aww, Zoltar is an angel. <33 Not for ripping them to shreds or anything - put for being protective. xP

“It’s a Death Gripper,”

Oh no oh no oh no. I'm getting jittery now. Someone do something! Save yourselves Zoltar & Co.!

Suddenly the Death Gripper snapped its head in their direction.

I swear if I were with the dragons, I'd be screaming right now. No joke.

Everyone obeyed instantly, scrambling as quietly as possible for shelter.

Right, so I'm assuming they're still flying because it's not written anywhere that they came down, so uhhh, how do you scramble if you're in mid-air? I mean, anything is possible, but, ya know, scrambling in mid-air? Nahhh...

Emerald, don't pass out, please don't or I'll pass you out myself. Shiraku, don't attack!! There could be more hidden behind the lookout dragon or something - yeah! Practical Zoltar!

Nu. It caught their scent. Their dead. Dead dragon meat. But of course they aren't because like, ya know, second book comin' out and all~

Yeah she saved you now go fight some more stop wasting time!! (Interesting duo, by the way. Very interesting, considering how opposite-y Shiraku and Zoltar are.)

Ayy, let's go Felistia!! =D

Emerald please stay alive! =(

By the way, I really liked the descriptions you gave for the Death Gripper. Very creepy, very scary, and frightening as well.

Oooh, the last sentence gave me goosebumps. I like how you ended this chapter - it was nice and satisfying. You said you might do another chapter after this? Please do. Probably make it so that it clears up all the itty bitty things and then you can finish of your draft and you'll be all set. But of course, that's just a suggestion. Congratulations on finishing this draft!! So happy for you!! :D

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty




felistia says...


Thank you again for the review. I do think I have another chapter to go before this book wraps up as I need to tie off some loose ends and questions before the next book. :D



Liberty says...


Yay! Your welcome! :)



User avatar
1394 Reviews


Points: 76307
Reviews: 1394

Donate
Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:21 pm
View Likes
JabberHut wrote a review...



OMG this is so exciting!!

I realized that you were still planning on another chapter after this, and I think that's a good idea! As exciting as this finish was, it certainly needs a good way to tie things up as well as set things up for the next installment. So good on you! :D

THAT BEING SAID this was SO exciting. I'm so glad we get a battle against the Death Grippers. I was also thankful for the reminder as to why Emerals/Wisp Talons were afraid of Death Grippers because as I said in my previous review, I just couldn't remember. XD (Though the way it was explained made it seem like the Death Grippers didn't have a particular ability to cripple Wisp Talons aside from brute strength. Which makes me wonder why OTHER Wisp Talons were afraid of them, unless they just naturally rely on camouflage and are simply clueless without it? Living on the same island as Death Grippers, though, you'd think SOME Wisp Talons would learn to overcome their faults and take on a Death Gripper. So there must be something about Death Grippers that cripples other dragons, and I wish! I coul! Remember! *knocks my own noggin*)

I LOVe that we see Shiraku help in the fight. She is such a fun personality, and she's such a suitable combat partner for Zoltar. I think they'll work well together in the fight, and they clearly did well enough here. They could totally grow in a reliable fighting partnership, though! AN UNCANNY PAIR OF DRAGONS WORKING TOGETHER!!

Felistia probably would have done better helping Emerald escape to allow Zoltar to fight them off or buy them time to get out, considering Emerald and Feslitia would be slower to escape at that point. It also would give Felistia move of a useful position in this squadron as right now, she seemed kind of useless, admittedly! But she has far too much heart, and I think she'd show a lot of concern for Emerald's well-being. She hadn't been showing any hatred toward her since she did well in moving on for the sake of escaping the island, and those emotions might come later, but since Felistia has shown that level of maturity, I think she'd be willing to help Emerald. On the flip side, this is a good opportunity to show Felistia's true emotions toward Emerald right now since she chose to hide those feelings for now.

I just LOOOOOOVED yoru Death Gripper. Gosh, I just love your description so freaking much. It looked properly terrifying, and there was a bit of a build-up for this moment against them. So it did them justice to have this menacing look, this feeling of fear and tension, and a threatening battle. Now I'm sitting here, worried about Emerald and what that attack will do to her. I think it's just a flesh wound though? I simply can't remember how worried I should be.

It would be so goosebumpy if we caught a glimpse of something that reminded him of his partners that passed away here. I'll bet you figured out how to work that in BUT IT WOULD BE SO COOL.

I can't wait to read the end of this!! GAH I'm so glad they made it out okay! The battle was quick, but it accomplished what it needed, I think. Just so excited to read the ending! It's so amazing to reach this point in your writing!! <3 <3




felistia says...


Thank you again for another review. The next chapter is going to tie of a lot of loose ends and will explore a lot the the emotions that were put aside to get off the island. Should be interesting. :D




All hail the mighty Glow Cloud.
— Welcome to Night Vale