Zoltar hovered over the trees covering the northern slope of the mountain. The alp towered over head, its sides rich with brilliant emerald green rainforest. Felistia and Shiraku drifted near him, their eyes trained on the trees below.
“This is it,” Felistia said, looking at Zoltar, “The hunting grounds.”
“What sort of game do you get around here?” Zoltar scanned the forest. The tree cover was dense. It was nearly impossible to see anything through the canopy.
“Deer, wild boar, birds, that sort of thing. There are a few other prey types, but we haven’t managed to catch them so I can’t be sure what animal they are.”
Zoltar nodded. This was the landscape he’d grown up with and the sort of prey he’d hunted. It should be easy to catch something today, but he also needed to take into account Felistia and Shiraku. Their tribes didn’t live or hunt in jungle, so they’d be inexperienced and could possible make an easy hunt much harder. He’d have to instruct them as he went.“It’s too thick to see anything from up here. We’ll need to land in trees. It will be easier to see tracks from there. We can then use those to find prey, but we’ll have to be as quiet as possible.”
Zoltar dipped into a sharp dive towards the forest, cutting through the air. The green carpet rushed up to meet him and he splayed his talons, landing on the branch of a tree. The tree swayed under Zoltar’s weight for a few seconds before coming to a standstill.
He looked up, searching for Shiraku and Felistia. They were still soaring overhead. He signaled them with a flick of his tail to come down.
Felistia’s silver wings shimmering in the open sun light as she tucked her wings and followed Zoltar. Shiraku hovered before plunging after the Ice Talon. They streaked downwards like two commits heading towards earth.
Suddenly, Felistia snapped open her wings, slowing her descent. She landed on a large bough, hooking her long claws and spiked tail into it to regain her balance.
Shiraku landed near her, but misjudged the distance and was sent scrabbling for a grip. She finally managed to clamber back onto the branch, spreading her wings to prevent herself from pitching forward.
She shot a glare at Zoltar when she caught him looking at her. He quickly looked away, slightly amused. He could see why they weren’t having any luck hunting.
He dipped his head below the foliage, peering below for signs of prey. It was gloomy, but there was enough light to pick out a faint line of tracks. They led deeper into the forest.
“I can see some footprints,” Zoltar explained, surfacing from the leaves, “If we follow them we should find prey, but we’ll have to be quiet.”
Felistia nodded, watching his every move. Shiraku on the other paw was stare off across the canopy as if ignoring him.
Zoltar rolled his eyes and sighed. At least she was still here.
He spread his wings, leapt off the branch and silently floated down through a small gap in the trees. He landed without a sound.
Adrenaline pumped through his body, his senses sharp as a blade as he examined the prints. Felistia had been right. The hunt was taking his mind off of things.
Dry leaves crunched under claws behind him as Felistia and Shiraku landed with a flurry of wing beats.
Zoltar cringed at the noise, but decided against pointing it out. They were trying their best, well Felistia was at least. He could teach them how to make less noise later, but for now they needed to follow these tracks.
“Here are the hoof marks,” Zoltar motioned to the faint indentations in the leaf litter.
“I don’t know how you managed to see those,” Felistia lowered her head, sniffing the imprints, “I can smell it though. It’s some sort of antelope.” She took a deeper whiff, closing her eyes as she focused on the scent, “It’s stronger that way.” She pointed in the direction of the tracks.
Zoltar nodded, “The tracks are roughly two hours old. If we follow them we should be able to find the creature that made them. You’ll have to be quiet though. We can’t afford to spook it.”
“It’s all very well finding it, but how are we going to catch it?” Shiraku hissed, “It will be much faster than us in this foliage.”
“I know, Shiraku and, yes, I do have a plan. We used it all the time in the Shadow Lands. It never fails,” He flashed his teeth and slowly padded further into the undergrowth, never taking his eyes off of the trail.
Shiraku rolled her eyes as she and Felistia followed.
Soon they were deep in the forest. Zoltar slunk through the musty undergrowth, being sure to keep his wings tucked close and footsteps soft. He could see the trail a few footsteps ahead, but sometimes it was too well hidden and he had to rely on smell to find it again.
It was hard work, pushing through the vegetation, especially with the constant grumbling from Shiraku. Every few minutes she’d hiss when her tail dragged through some mud or as one of her wings snagged a creeper. It was like he was dragging sulky dragonet along behind him.
At least Felistia wasn’t complaining, though she wasn’t doing much better in the stealth department.
…
After what felt like hours, Zoltar saw an opening in the trees; a clearing. The scent of antelope had become almost pungent in the air and Zoltar’s sharp hearing could pick up with sound of jaws chewing on grass. The herd was close.
He stopped and held up a wing, signalling Felistia and Shiraku to stop.
“The herd is just ahead in that clearing,” Zoltar whispered after he’d turned to face them, “They’re not close enough for us to make an all-out charge. We need to drive them towards us.”
“And how do you propos we do that?” Shiraku hissed, eyeing the oblivious antelope.
“I will circle around to the other side of the clearing while you two wait here. You need to be absolutely silent. I’ll signal you when I get to the other side with this bird call,” Zoltar sent a rush of hot air shooting between his front teeth, creating a sharp whistle, “It won’t disturb them, but will be loud enough for you to hear me. I then need you to charge across the field. Make as much noise as you can. Fly if you have to. Just drive them towards me. I’ll take care of the rest. Does that make sense?”
Felistia and Shiraku nodded.
“Okay then. I’ll be on the other side in a few minutes,” Zoltar turned and stole into the undergrowth, heading for the other side of the clearing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever it is in your part of the world),
Looks like it's hunting time,
First Impression: Finally we see Shadow Talon's showcasing their strengths. Very nice little chapter. Good descriptions. Okay let's get to it.
Neat little explanation of the setting.
This feels like a question he'd ask before setting out to go hunt. He needs to know what he's going to hunt after all. But then considering the previous eavesdropping thing he might forget. So I'm not sure.
This would suggest they have no idea about the game in the forest so it is hard to believe that Felistia can recognize the smell of antelope. Sure, she may have been hunting for about three four months while on the island but it still seems like a skill that would take years to master.
I think you mean comets.
So as I mentioned earlier recognizing the scent so accurately seems a little odd.
Warning! Nitpick ahead!: Okay now while this is lovely to see Zoltar taking charge on something for once and the others trusting him enough or being hungry enough to follow without much grumbling I can't shake the fact that this must be something Zoltar did with his friends and Mouzan back in the Shadow Lands. So this far from taking his mind off things would dredge up old memories and make him at least feel a little grief. The other dragons might find this distracting because for them this is something new but to him it must bring up some old memories.
This is a lovely little image almost like a pseudo family.
I think you lost an e there.
I thought it was mentioned earlier the foliage was pretty thick and hard to fly around in. Or does is this part of the forest more open?
And that's it.
Overall: I like this little scene. Sounds like a little bonding scene. One thing is the little drama we had from Shiraku's little secret seems to be totally forgotten and Shiraku is straight back to being grumpy. Just seems that little detail should have been continued a touch.
Anyway that's it for this chapter. As always take what you think is useful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you for another review and your thoughts. You have a lot of good points in this chapter. When I go back to edit I'll be sure to make it more consistent.
Your Welcome!! This story has been amazing to read.
This reminded me of warriors A LOT with the whole hunting thing.
Here's my review:
Though the plot doesn't develop much, you get to see another side of Zoltar, with him being for once the most skilled dragon around at something. This is a really interesting book, and I'm definitely enjoying reading it. There are supposed to be two kinds of books, character driven and plot driven. This has both interesting characters AND an interesting plot. The one thing I noticed and was confused about was the fact that the branched were holding their weight. Are the dragons smaller than you average dragon? I mean, I imagined them smaller than, like, Smaug or something, but still big enough that a tree limb would snap under the weight. If the are smaller, I would slip that into the description somewhere in an earlier chapter so that the reader knows.
Anyway, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.
Thank you for the review. The dragons are around the same size as Toothless from How To Train Your Dragon, just longer legs. I might have to add into the description that the branch they landed on was quite thick and that the tree they are landing on are larger than most trees we have today.
Hello feli!
Let's start now, shall we?
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you are on, obviously. I'm here to get back on track and start reviewing.
Alright, so I see here that you're describing is increasing. But not too much. So now, dialogues and descriptions are both on the same level. I love it. Also, I see that Shiraku actually listened to Zoltar and didn't snap back at any of his comments. At all. Like at all at all. I would've expected a bit of an attitude from her, bu t oh well, I guess. It was still great to see that she was listening more than snapping.
The bold word is one word. "Rain forest". Also, I adore the description you've given us here. It's enchanting.
Just a veeery little thing. A space after the period.
Zoltar the Bossy Dragon.
Lol. XP I love it.
Okay, this sentence kinda seems off. So maybe if you could say "were shimmering" or "shimmered" instead. So then it'll be the same tense and it'll make a bit more sense.
Also, I could perfectly see Feli coming down like that. <3 'Twas a sight.
Propos? Dunno what that is, but I feel like a "suppose" would do better here.
Alright, so I'm done reading this chapter. Not much happened here, but we did get to see Zoltar the Bossy Dragon, and Shiraku the One Who Listens To Zoltar, lol.
I really hope this review helped in one way or the other. I'm off to read the next chapter. And of course, if you've got any questions about anything I said, please ask. You did a great job with describing things here in this chapter.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
GOOD MORNING!
Hahahahaa I can already picture Shiraku scaring away the wildlife. He'll probably have a catch right in front of them and then Shiraku comes barreling in and scares it off. THAT'LL BE FUN.
I am so mightily impressed these trees can hold up these dragons. Maybe they're smaller than I realize, or maybe the trees are actually monstrous. It's adorable seeing a dragon perched on a branch like a parrot or a cat, they just seem SO HEAVY.
I DUNNO, ZOLTAR. I don't think we want her here. Just let her stay there and stare quietly into the horizon. That's for the best. //nods
I don't know if his adrenaline would be pumping yet. He seems rather calm babysitting these two and nothing really exciting has happened yet. Even their flight seems rather quiet and smooth, so I don't know why he's suddenly excitable hopping down from the tree to follow the tracks. I can see him GETTING excited, remembering his hunting instincts from when he'd do this every other day back home or whatever, memories of three years ago washing over him while his body instinctively sniffed the tracks and followed the trail like it was yesterday.
That sort of thing.
THEY'RE SO LOUD OMG. ;____;
Oh, she recognizes the smell of antelope. That's so specific for a dragon who doesn't live in forested areas.
YEAH, WHAT HE SAID. BE QUIET.
omg shiraku
someone needs to send her home, good lord. THEY'LL NEVER CATCH DINNER. Can't she grumble silently ?? Why is she hissing omgaosidfj;alsfja;ds SHIRAKU SHUSH PLEASE
I wonder what Felistia's tribe did for dinner. Sea Talons fished, but I don't remember what Ice Talons did (I think that's what she is, right?). It must be some form of hunting, but maybe in a really different terrain. So that would make sense as to her being able to pick some aspects up quickly, like sniffing and following a trail. She just needs to learn the terrain, what to avoid and how to be sneaky and stuff. I'm just babbling away, but it's basically an extended way of saying how impressed I am at the accuracy of your dragon races again. The different traits and skills they all exercise are expressed so well and have clearly been well thought out.
OHHHH THIS'LL BE FUN. THEY'RE SO GOOD AT MAKING NOISE. Zoltar is a smart cookie. I am enjoying this immensely omg.
Thank you so much again for another review. Glad you're liking this so far.