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The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Nine

by felistia


What was a Sea Talon doing here? Zoltar thought, panicking slightly. The last thing he needed was a Sea Talon. Their tribe hated the Shadow Talons and with good reason. The Shadow Talons had been at war with them little over ten years ago. Resentment and hatred between the two tribes still ran deep.

Zoltar started to think staying the night in the cave might not be such a good idea. The Sea Talon could get violent.

Then again, she was an exile like Felistia if she was here. Maybe the feels weren’t as strong with her. After all, her own tribe had deserted her. Bearing a grudge against the Shadow Talons would seem to be the last of her worries at the moment.

Zoltar knew he needed a place to stay and going out now that it was almost dark would definitely be more dangerous than staying here. Besides, Felistia would must know the history between his and the Sea Talon’s tribe. She wouldn’t have brought him here if she thought there’d be blood shed. Maybe the best thing to do would be to act like nothing was wrong.

“How can you see anything?” Zoltar asked, looking at the fuzzy shapes of the two dragons in front of him. He could see them quite well in the amethyst light shining from his eyes, but Shadow Talons were one of the only dragons in Megalonia to have nocturnal vision. Sea Talons and Ice Talons were practically blind at night.

Zoltar saw the Sea Talon roll her eyes in an exasperated way, before there was a flash of brilliant blue light, blinding Zoltar temporarily. After a few moments he opened his scrunched up eyes and blinked away the tears streaming from them. The Sea Talon was standing in the middle of the cave and every scale on her body was glowing in an eerie turquoise light.

Zoltar arched his eye crests in surprise. He’d read about Sea Talons being able to do this, but had never actually seen it.

“Zoltar, this is Shiraku,” Felistia said, batting the Sea Talon with her wing, “She’d been on the island almost two months now.”

“Hello,” Zoltar said, hoping to keep things on the friendly side. It was so strange talking to dragons that weren’t part of his tribe like this. Sure he had done a fair amount back when they’d traded with outsiders, but that had only been on strictly professional terms. Never had he thought he’d have a friendly conversation with a dragon other than a Shadow Talon. It just wasn’t normal.

Shiraku nodded at him, but didn’t say a word. She just sat there, with her tail curled around her talons as her scales continued to imitate the luminous blue glow.

“You’ll have to excuse her,” Felistia said, “She doesn’t take well to new comers. You won’t be able to shut her up after she gets to know you though.”

“Not if it’s a Shadow Talon,” Shiraku hissed through gritted teeth. She got up and strode over to the far side of the cave.Huffing to herself, Shiraku closed her golden eyes as she curled her head under her wing. Her scales slowly dimmed back to a dark blue in the cave’s shadows.

“Well…,” Felistia said, turning back to him after watching Shiraku, “I guess you should get some sleep then.”

Zoltar cast a questioning glance at Shiraku.

“Don’t worry about her. She’ll get over it, eventually.” Felistia yawned, displaying her sparkling white fangs, “There are far more important things to be worrying about now than a war that happened years ago. Now get some sleep. You’re going to need it,” she said as she laid her head on her paws and closed her eyes.

Zoltar yawned and stretched. It had been a long, tiring day. It was hard to believe that only this morning he’d been in the Shadow Lands. It seemed so far away now with all that had happened.

Shiraku’s deep, rumbling snores filled the cave, slightly muffled from under her wing.

Zoltar lay down near the entrance to the cave. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Shiraku. She wasn’t as bad as he’d expected, but she wasn’t going act like nothing had happened either. Whatever happened between them, he’d have to deal with it has it came.

Felistia on the other talon was a different story. Who knew dragons from other tribes could be so…friendly? Maybe it was because she wasn’t part of her tribe anymore? Maybe it was because she couldn’t be choosy and had to take the company that came her way or maybe it was just her personality? Either way it was nice to know that he wasn’t alone on the island.

Zoltar stared out through the vines hanging from the cave entrance. The forest was dark and gloomy. The sun had fallen behind the mountains and dusk was crawling over the island. Eerie calls were floating through the humid air, their sounds warped by the dank wind that was blowing over the trees. The two full moons were slowly rising over the mountains like antique silver dishes on a star studded table cloth of cobalt blue.

Every now and then a high pitched screech would rip through the night air reminding Zoltar of what lay outside the cave. He still had to get a Wisp Talon Scale and if he survived that there was a list of other tasks he had to complete.

Zoltar looked up at the twinkling stars and sighed. It was going to be a long year.


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163 Reviews


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Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:25 pm
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Liberty500 wrote a review...



Heck, if this is going to be a long year, how long is the story going to be? XP

~

Hiya feli!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review after a looong time, lmao. Anyways, I love this chapter! :smt023

I could capture the tension in between Zotar and Shiraku. They definitely don't have a good history if this is what's happening. I also really like Felistia. She's very nice with Zoltar even though their tribes don't get along quite well. And just like Zoltar said, I think it could just be her personality or it could be that she's an exile and she just has no one but Shiraku.

Well, now, I saw some stuff that I'd like to point out, so... Let's begin!

She got up and strode over to the far side of the cave.Huffing to herself, Shiraku closed her golden eyes as she curled her head under her wing.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure you already know what to do. Just the space in between the period and huffing. Next:

“Well…,” Felistia said,


Um, I was kinda confused here. This is a punctuational mistake, so your words are perfectly fine. There are two punctuation marks here. You have the ellipsis (…) and the comma. You can only use one of these two punctuation marks. I'm pretty sure you want the ellipsis, but you're the author, so your choice! :P Okay, last one:

She wasn’t as bad as he’d expected, but she wasn’t going act like nothing had happened either. Whatever happened between them, he’d have to deal with it has it came.


That bolded part doesn't make sense. I think I get the idea of what you're trying to say, but maybe make it clearer? :)

Anyways, that's it for now, I loved reading this chapter and I shall now move on to reading the next. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. And if I didn't make sense at any point in this review, ask me about that too. (:

And as always...

Keep on writing! :mrgreen:

~Liberty500




felistia says...


Thank you for another review. :D



Liberty500 says...


Of course. (:



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Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:34 pm
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Poetry says...



Another great chapter, gosh starting to get tired of reading but I just cannot stop you got me hooked to your lovely great and violent story. :D




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Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:06 pm
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TropicalRain wrote a review...



Hello my friend! it's me again with a review. Sorry it took so long school is starting to catch up with me. But I'm about to go on holyday, so I will soon have time to review your work.

Anyway I saw a few things I will like to point out. So lets get right to it.

Here is the first one.

The Shadow Talons had been at war with them little over ten years ago.

When I first read this I felt like there was something missing, then I read over it again and saw there needed to be an A between the two words in bold, by doing that it will help the flow.

Moving on.
Felistia would must know the history between his and the Sea Talon’s tribe.

Now both these words are spelt right, but one of them must go. Ether the must or would, to me the must should go. But that is up to you.

Here is the next one.
She wouldn’t have brought him here if she thought there’d be blood shed.

Now this is something I do all the time, the two words in bold are one word. It a mistake I do ALL the time.

Right moving on.
“She doesn’t take well to new comers.

This is the same as the last one, its one word.

Last one.
Either way it was nice to know that he wasn’t alone on the island.

There needs to be a coma after way, it will help with the flow, and the emotion in this sentence.

Well that's it for now.
I really love how you described everything, it was like diving head first into a painting. It was so magical, and I loved it.
I do wish there was more of Shiraku. But I'm sure there will be lots of her in chapters soon to come. She seems to be quit the interesting character, and I can't wait to find out how she ended up on the island, and if her and Zoltar will form a friendship? That I will have to wait and see.
I really like how you are still keeping Zoltar's feelings in the story, and this far in to. In many other stories, it would be like kill off the character be sad for a chapter or to then back to normal. And that was what I was expecting to see in your story, but you have proved me wrong. It's nice to no you still include Nira in a way. Even if it is sad (cries).
By the way you ended this chapter I have a filling some action will be going down in the next chapter, because he is going to try and get a Wisp Talon scale. Now that I have brought that up. I wonder what he will react like when he meats one? I'm sure all the anger and revenge he has been keeping under lock and key will come boiling up, and it will turn into a gruesome battle. That I'm not to sure about, but I do expect to see some really cool fighting.

Anyway that's all I have got for now. Good luck with the next chapter.

TropicalRain.




felistia says...


Thank you again for the review. Sorry it's so short. I've had to cut down the length of my chapters due to not enough writing time now that I'm back to work. I'll try and keep them coming. :D



TropicalRain says...


Your welcome, and take your time writing the next chapter. I can wait. :D



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Mon Jun 10, 2019 7:59 am
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silvermoon17 wrote a review...



ShadowTalon- NightWing
SeaTalon- SeaWing
IceTalons- IceWing (which I remind you, are not blinded by night)

Maybe if you’d want more followers, you should try reinventing completely the clans, with different powers and all. I dunno if it’s just me, but in your story; I feel as if you’re just inventing along the way. If there is a skeleton, well; it’s a little one- you just set off for a quest and hope that ideas will sprout along the way. Because of that, twists can be seen way beforehand, and when it happens; we barely notice. I suggest you add something different. A clan, a power, an item not having the same powers as another item in WingsOfFire, and when I say powers; I mean both the one’s of the clans or a unique one in sorts. If the ShadowTalons live in a place no one knows, have/had powers to read minds/ see in the future, then you’ll know why I wrote this.




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Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:54 pm



Amazing. This story has the ability to go farther, though. Keep up the good work, felistia.




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Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:53 pm



Amazing. This story has the ability to go farther, though. Keep up the good work, felistia.




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Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:49 pm
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Amazing. This story has the ability to go farther, though. Keep up the good work, felistia. I love te plot. I look forward to seeing more of this amazing work. I hope that you are soon able to publish this, and make a living off of your writing.





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