Published June 21, 2019
Just visible through the canopy were the Wisp Talons sapphire eyes, deep and unreadable as the ocean herself. She cocked her head, staring unblinking at him from the cover of the leaves.
Zoltar watched, bewildered. What was she doing? Why was she still here? Was he still being held hostage?
Finally he burst out, “Are you still holding me captive or are you letting me go, because I just can’t figure it out at this point?”
A flash of pink raced across the Wisp Talons scales, for a second revealing her slender shape in the branches above, before she shifted back to the deep green of the foliage around her. “Maybe.”
Zoltar stared at her, “Who are you?” he asked.
“Emerald.” The Wisp Talon shifted, the leaves rustling with her every move, “You?”
Zoltar huffed, rolling his eyes. This wasn’t normal. She’d just attacked him. First off, why had she let him go and secondly, why was she hanging around? If she wanted him dead she could have killed him ages ago so it couldn’t be that she was waiting for backup. If she meant him no harm though, she wouldn’t have attacked him. The whole thing just didn’t make sense.
It couldn’t hurt to tell her his name though. She had told him hers.
Every instinct in Zoltar told him not to trust her, to not take his eyes off her. What if she was just toying with him for the fun of it? After what the Wisp Talons had done to Scorpus, how could he know what they’d do next? They were unpredictable. Everything they’d done up to this point went against everything he’d learned about other tribes. He needed to get out of here.
He couldn’t just leave though. She may only be one light Wisp Talon, but she had poison, could blend into the forest and was faster than him in this terrane. She’d be able to take him out with ease.
He’d have to just go along with whatever she was doing and get out of this when the opportunity arose.
“It’s Zoltar,” he said stiffly, eyeing her as she slunk to a lower branch.
“You’re new to the island, aren’t you?” Emerald purred, “Otherwise you’d know to be more careful around these parts.”
“Yes. I arrived yesterday.”
“You wouldn’t have happened upon other dragons would you?” Emerald asked as she circled around him, stealing through the trees like a cat, “An Ice Talon or a Sea Talon perhaps?”
Zoltar quickly shook his head, his tongue seemingly stuck to the roof of his mouth. He felt his breathes quicken. So Felistia and Shiraku were part of this. What had they done? Were the Wisp Talons hunting them? Were they the reason the Wisp Talons had attacked and killed Nira and Scorpus when they’d first come the island? If that was the case what did it mean for him? How could he stay with Felistia and Shiraku if the Wisp Talons were after them? The island was dangerous enough.
Emerald had paused and was staring at him. Her eyes seemed to see right through him, searching.
It seemed an eternity before she blinked, hissing. “Very well then. You may leave,” she started up the tree again.
Zoltar was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she turn back to look at him, saying, “Don’t come to this part of the forest again. You might not be so lucky next time.” With that she darted into the canopy, disappearing.
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,013 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
And yet another review for the day. Judging by how this is turning out I may be able to get to one more chapter today maybe two because this is one is pretty short.
First Impression: Bit too short to be its own chapter. This one definitely needs to be grafted onto the previous chapter but you already said you'd do that so that's fine. So another interesting reveal.
How did she get up there so fast? This is starting to feel a bit like teleportation. I think a couple more visual cues as to how she gets from being on top of Zoltar to the tree would be very much appreciated.
Nice little showcase of the abilities of the Wisp Talons.
Surprising that she'd actually give her name. This makes this little scene even more interesting.
Nice little subtle reference to their powers. Also that's spelled [b]terrain I think.
Purred just comes as a weird choice of word for that place.
Now this is getting real convoluted.
And we suddenly see a bit more humane Wisp Talon. By the pricking of my thumbs something sinister this way comes.
Anyway that's it for that chapter. It was a really short review for a really short chapter.
Hope I wasn't too harsh here. As always Take what you think is helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you again. You're never to harsh. I like to hear your thoughts on the story and if something doesn't make sense I need to change. Don't shy away for sharing how you feel about the story.
You're Welcome again as well! I think the Randomosity gang is being very quiet so far so I might be able to get out a couple more reviews before calling it a night.
Another interesting chapter, I see.
Here's my review:
This was another short chapter, so I would combine it with another chapter or something. Anyway, this is quite intriguing! I love the mystery of the scenario. It was also interesting to read about Zoltar trying to figure out Emerald's motives for attacking him and then letting him go. Zoltar definitely seems like the overthink things type. He's extremely cautious and calculating, but at the same time a bit incompetent at times. As for Emerald, I don't know what to think of her yet. And why did she ask if he's seen an ice talon and a sea talon??? This is definitely suspicious. What do felistia and Shiraku have to do with this? Did they steal something?
"breathes?" breathe is a verb, and "breathes" just makes it plural. "Breath" is the word you're looking for. Well, "breaths" specifically, but in any case you generally want to use nouns where nouns go, not verbs where nouns go.
Well, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.
Good morning!
LOL Zoltar sass coming in strong today omg. I love this.
LOL Then she answers his either/or question with "maybe" omg. She's as flustered as he is at this point. XD
I find it weird that Zoltar is wondering about the Wisp Talon's presence after she introduced herself as Emerald and asked him for his name. Like he's thinking too much in the middle of a discussion that he prompted. He even asked her for her name first, and then has to wonder if it's okay to give her his own name. Wouldn't that have crossed his mind sooner? Just seems like weird and almost rude timing to be thinking about that.
But maybe he's not thinking so clearly either?
So I don't know why we're overthinking this either. I think we established earlier the Wisp Talons were concerned about invaders stealing their food and stuff, like they had already known someone was mooching off their stuff. So now that Emerald as pointed out Felistia and Shiraku, it's safe to say they're on to these two dragons trespassing on their land and are ready to take 'em out.
I really like that Zoltar's thoughts include the idea of why he should stay with these two dragons when they were wanted by the Wisp Talons. He has no reason to be attached to these two, so he's still thinking about himself, his mission, and his tribe.
It's very peculiar, though, that the Wisp Talon keeps referring to the area as "this part of the forest". What's different about this area compared to others?? Maybe there IS something fishy going on here!
HNNNNNNNG WHY IS THIS SO SHORT //SOB
I shall return!!
Hey again feli!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on. I'm here to give you a review! Let's start now, shall we?
Alright, so I am loving this book so far. I seriously am. I'm enjoying it a lot! There's not much to critique here as this chapter is quite short. I could picture the entire scene perfectly here. Also, just a little comment here:
I myself am confused, don't worry, dear.
Lol.
Maybe it'd be better if you added a in between the two bold words. It sounds better if you ask me, but either way, it's your chapter, so you decide! There's not much else for me to say in this review but good job! So... Good job! Haha.
That's it for my review. Hope this helped in one way or the other. And I'm excited to read more!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Hello, I am here yet again to do another review that i hope is going to help you.
So I must say your description is really good, witch in every chapter it is good,
Lol I think the way you are doing this is great, I think that you are really getting me hooked to the character Zoltar so far.
I am guessing that she is camouflaged with this bit right, It sounds like it, i am not really sure, but I do think that you should make it more clear that she is camouflaged, but that is okay.
Great end to the chapter, I really like this girl all ready, also I think that you are really good at all the things like describing things and, sight, and sound, and all the things like that.
So that is really good, I look forward to the next chapter,.
So I hope you have a great Day/Night
See yeah for the next chapter when it comes out.