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The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter Twenty Three

by felistia


The sunlight danced over the gentle, lapping waters of Rippling Glass Lake, lighting up Shiraku’s azure blue scales as she soared over the waters. Zoltar and Felistia watched from the grass cloaked banks as she hovered, her eyes trained on her prize. With a lightning fast tuck of the wings and a sudden plummet, she disappeared into the blue. A few seconds later she burst from the water with a large trout hanging from her claws.

Zoltar breathed in a quiet sigh as she swooped in to land, a huge grin on her snout. It was so nice to have a peaceful day out in the sun. After what he’d been through he could do with a short break. Besides, tomorrow he’d meet up with Emerald and see what he could find out. For now though it was good to relax a bit. His heart needed it.

Shiraku sliced the fish in three with her razor sharp talons. She gave a piece to Felistia and Zoltar.

Zoltar noted the fact that she’d given him the head. She might be a little more at ease around him after the incident with the raptors, but she wasn’t completely okay with him.

He sat there, savoring the salty, fresh taste of the fish as Felistia and Shiraku ate just a little way up the bank. This was better than before though. At least he could be in the same area as her without her spitting insults at him. Maybe if he spent a bit of time with her and Felistia she’d get better? The hunt yesterday certainly seemed to have helped, so maybe a few more moments like that would help bridge the hatred between them. It was worth a shot.

He gazed up into the clear blue sky, taking in a deep whiff of the late afternoon air. The earthy aroma of ripening mushrooms and damp leaf litter filled his snout. He sighed, content as he lay down on the soft grass. He could hear Felistia and Shiraku talking behind him, their conversation muffled by the gentle wind beginning to blow across the lake.

Suddenly, a faint, but sharp scent cut through his senses. It was coming from the other side of the lake, slicing across the water on the breeze. Instantly, Zoltar sprang to his feet. He knew that smell; Wisp Talon.

“Guys, we have to move,” Zoltar urged, rushing over to the others.

“Why,” Shiraku asked, a hint of annoyance on the edge of her voice.

“There are Wisp Talons across the water and they’re getting close. I can smell them. We need to go before they see us,” Zoltar spread his billowing black wings, panic starting to grip his chest.

“Wait, you can’t fly out, you giant, black bat. They’ll see us a mile away.” Shiraku hissed, getting to her paws.

“We need to travel on foot a little way before taking to the air.” Felistia said, her scales shaking ever so slightly.

Zoltar nodded, folding back his wings. Of course he couldn’t just fly away. What had he been thinking?

“This way,” Felistia crept into the jungle bordering the bank, her slender silver shape disappearing into the green.

Zoltar and Shiraku followed close behind, their paws moving without a sound against the moist forest floor. They were silent as they headed deeper into the undergrowth, the light of the lake fading behind them.

The eerie cries of birds roosting for the night pierced the still evening air, setting Zoltar’s already nervous mind on edge. What if this was an ambush? They’d be walking right into it. He sniffed the damp air, searching for signs of Wisp Talon. Only the wet smell of rotting leaves filled his senses. If there were Wisp Talons up ahead he should have been able to smell them. Besides, from the brief scent he’d got of them a few minutes ago, they hadn’t seemed excited or nervous. It had probably been a coincidence that they’d happened to be on the other side of the lake. He couldn’t hear them following them either so they should be alright, so long as they made it to the cave by nightfall.

They traveled on through the forest for a few more minutes putting at least a mile or two between them and the lake before Felistia came to a halt.

“This should be far enough. We’re only a few miles from the cave and it’s getting dark so we should be okay to fly the rest of the way,” She scanned the trees around her for an opening in the canopy.

They had to walk a little further before finding a gap wide enough to fly through, “Just remember to fly low over the trees. It’ll be harder to see us from a distance.” Felistia said, spreading her wings. They glowed a pale orange under the crimson sky as she broke through the canopy.

Glancing over at Shiraku, Zoltar followed Felistia into the gleaming crimson sky. The Sea Talon had been silent for some time now, her snout wrinkled in thought. What could be bothering her?

The thought was fleeting as Zoltar burst through the leaves and leveled out into even flight over the trees. In the distance he could hear a low howling, growing steadily louder by the second. It had been in the back of his head for a while, but only now did he notice it. It sent cold shivers down his spine and he was reminded of what Emerald had told him last night. Could this be linked to the Full Moon Ceremony the Wisp Talons had?

Another shudder run through his scales. The whole place creeped him out. The sooner they got to the cave the better.

It took only a few tense minutes to reach their hidden cave. With a quick glance over her shoulder Felistia shot through the opening, the creepers tossed in all directions upon impact. Shiraku and Zoltar weren’t far behind.

The comforting darkness of the cave enveloped Zoltar as he dove through the vines. They were safe now. The Wisp Talons wouldn’t find them here. Not for now at least.

The sky outside was a dim amethyst and was growing steadily darker, but Shiraku didn’t light up her scales. Not tonight. There was safety in the darkness.

“They’re getting too close,” Felistia hissed to Shiraku, her eyes shimmering ever so slightly in the gloom, “We’ve never seen them down by the lake, not at that time of day. What are we going to do?”

Zoltar listened, but didn’t interrupt the conversation. He lay down near the entrance, his head on his paws.

“I’ve told you already. I’ve been telling you the same thing for weeks now. We’re going to have to leave,” Shiraku flopped down onto the cave floor with a sigh, “They’ll find us eventually. You know what happened last time we left it too long.”

Felistia didn’t answer, but Zoltar could see her face fall.

“You know I didn’t want that to happen, Shiraku. I’ve said I’m sorry so many times.”

“Sorry won’t bring him back, Felistia,” Shiraku snarled, looking at the Ice Talon, “We both said we should leave, but you insisted other whys. Look what happened. I won’t let that happen again. Even if it means I have to leave on my own.”

“Were would you go Shiraku? We’re outcasts. We have nowhere to go. Do you not think that I’ve been thinking about this ever since your Father died? I feel terrible. I wish I’d done something different, but this island is just as dangerous as anywhere else. Leave if you must, but it won’t help anything. You can’t bring him back. You just going to get yourself killed.” Felistia growled tearfully, before walking away. She lay down with a sigh near the back of the cave.

Shiraku huffed, but didn’t say anything as she stared blankly at the opposite cave wall.

Silence settled over them, hanging like a thick fog over rippling waters. The cave was almost black now, with only the thin blades of moonlight slicing through the vines for illumination.

Zoltar’s thoughts were whirling through his head. What had happened to Shiraku’s Father? He’d figured out that the Wisp Talons had something to do with it, but what had actually happened? Maybe this was why Shiraku was so on edge all the time. He’d known that she’d suffered the loss a few weeks back, but hadn’t known that Felistia in some part had been responsible. It seemed to have damaged their relationship quite badly. How much was yet to be seen, but there was obviously some bad blood between them.

And what about that thing with the Wisp Talons. What did they mean they were getting too close? Were the Wisp Talons searching for them or had it just been coincidence? Obviously they weren’t supposed to be by the lake, but Emerald was there regularly and she was a Wisp Talon, so how was this such a big deal? Maybe they were specifically a hunting party out looking for Felistia and Shiraku or maybe they were a different sect of the Wisp Talons like the Elders Emerald had been talking about.

Either way something was going on. They definitely were in trouble. Maybe there was something he could do to help. He wouldn’t go so far as to say that he’d want to help Shiraku. She was still a little way from that, but Felistia, he’d grown to like and he’d want to help her if he could. That meant helping Shiraku too. Still, there wasn’t much he could do without all the pieces of the map to put the picture together. Maybe he’d ask Felistia next time she and him were alone.

Besides, in the morning he’d see Emerald. Maybe he’d be able to get a little information out of her, though he’d be a bit more carful now knowing a little more about what Felistia and Shiraku were dealing with. He might not know everything, but he knew enough to be on guard more than usual, at least until he knew what was going on.


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Fri Aug 07, 2020 9:18 pm
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Necromancer14 wrote a review...



Hello! I'm back to read this next chapter. I'm doing it a little bit different than I normally do. Normally I read the chapter and THEN write the review, but this time I'm writing the review as I read through.

Here's my review:

Zoltar noted the fact that she’d given him the head. She might be a little more at ease around him after the incident with the raptors, but she wasn’t completely okay with him.


This was a nice little tidbit about dragon culture.

He gazed up into the clear blue sky, taking in a deep whiff of the late afternoon air. The earthy aroma of ripening mushrooms and damp leaf litter filled his snout. He sighed, content as he lay down on the soft grass. He could hear Felistia and Shiraku talking behind him, their conversation muffled by the gentle wind beginning to blow across the lake.


Okay, so this is quite the peaceful scene so far. I wonder if it'll be ruined later on.

Suddenly, a faint, but sharp scent cut through his senses. It was coming from the other side of the lake, slicing across the water on the breeze. Instantly, Zoltar sprang to his feet. He knew that smell; Wisp Talon.


Lol yup, the peaceful scene was disrupted. Also, you don't need that comma after "faint."

“There are Wisp Talons across the water and they’re getting close. I can smell them. We need to go before they see us,” Zoltar spread his billowing black wings, panic starting to grip his chest.


The comma after "us" should be a period, as you didn't write "Zoltar said" or something like that afterwards. "Zoltar spread his wings" doesn't work because "spreading his wings" isn't a form of talking.

“We need to travel on foot a little way before taking to the air.” Felistia said,


...And then here you reversed it. You DO have "Felistia said" but you had a period after "air" instead of a comma.

“This should be far enough. We’re only a few miles from the cave and it’s getting dark so we should be okay to fly the rest of the way,” She scanned the trees around her for an opening in the canopy.


You made a couple grammar mistakes here. There should be a comma after "dark" and the comma after "way" should be a period.

“Sorry won’t bring him back, Felistia,” Shiraku snarled, looking at the Ice Talon, “We both said we should leave, but you insisted other whys. Look what happened. I won’t let that happen again. Even if it means I have to leave on my own.”[/quote]

Ooh, interesting. I like plot twists.

He might not know everything, but he knew enough to be on guard more than usual, at least until he knew what was going on.


Great ending!

Okay so in summary I liked this chapter, it was very interesting, and I'm excited to see where you'll go with this plot! I didn't notice any plot holes (though I'm decidedly bad at spotting them, so don't go thinking it's void of plot holes, lol.)

Anyway, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.




felistia says...


Thank you again for another review. :D



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Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:21 am
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Halfway point of the 43 total reviews has officially been passed(*does happy dance*)

First Impression: Looks like we finally will be getting to hear Shiraku's story. I hope we get Felistia's story sometime soon. And the dynamic between them seems to be getting pretty clear now.

The sunlight danced over the gentle, lapping waters of Rippling Glass Lake, lighting up Shiraku’s azure blue scales as she soared over the waters. Zoltar and Felistia watched from the grass cloaked banks as she hovered, her eyes trained on her prize. With a lightning fast tuck of the wings and a sudden plummet, she disappeared into the blue. A few seconds later she burst from the water with a large trout hanging from her claws.


Neat little hunting sequence.

Zoltar noted the fact that she’d given him the head. She might be a little more at ease around him after the incident with the raptors, but she wasn’t completely okay with him.


Nice little titbit there.

Suddenly, a faint, but sharp scent cut through his senses. It was coming from the other side of the lake, slicing across the water on the breeze. Instantly, Zoltar sprang to his feet. He knew that smell; Wisp Talon.


Okay since when did he learn this smell. He has been in contact with Wisp Talon's a few times in this story and he never identified them by smell before.

“We need to travel on foot a little way before taking to the air.” Felistia said, her scales shaking ever so slightly.

Zoltar nodded, folding back his wings. Of course he couldn’t just fly away. What had he been thinking?


I like how Felistia act's like the one who is experienced at sneaking away from Wisp Talons while Zoltar is still functioning on instinct and fear.


Besides, from the brief scent he’d got of them a few minutes ago, they hadn’t seemed excited or nervous.


Okay how could he possible gauge their excitement from just smell. That doesn't seem possible.

It took only a few tense minutes to reach their hidden cave. With a quick glance over her shoulder Felistia shot through the opening, the creepers tossed in all directions upon impact. Shiraku and Zoltar weren’t far behind.


Nitpick: Aren't those creepers important to keep the cave hidden so shouldn't she a bit more careful striding through them. If she sends them flying in all directions in her hurry she might just end up opening the cave for the Wisp Talon's to find them.

The sky outside was a dim amethyst and was growing steadily darker, but Shiraku didn’t light up her scales. Not tonight. There was safety in the darkness.


That last bit is implied by the earlier part so you don't need to mention it.

“Sorry won’t bring him back, Felistia,” Shiraku snarled, looking at the Ice Talon, “We both said we should leave, but you insisted other whys. Look what happened. I won’t let that happen again. Even if it means I have to leave on my own.”


So we get into some of the complications in the relationship between Shiraku and Felistia.

Zoltar’s thoughts were whirling through his head. What had happened to Shiraku’s Father? He’d figured out that the Wisp Talons had something to do with it, but what had actually happened? Maybe this was why Shiraku was so on edge all the time. He’d known that she’d suffered the loss a few weeks back, but hadn’t known that Felistia in some part had been responsible. It seemed to have damaged their relationship quite badly. How much was yet to be seen, but there was obviously some bad blood between them.

And what about that thing with the Wisp Talons. What did they mean they were getting too close? Were the Wisp Talons searching for them or had it just been coincidence? Obviously they weren’t supposed to be by the lake, but Emerald was there regularly and she was a Wisp Talon, so how was this such a big deal? Maybe they were specifically a hunting party out looking for Felistia and Shiraku or maybe they were a different sect of the Wisp Talons like the Elders Emerald had been talking about.

Either way something was going on. They definitely were in trouble. Maybe there was something he could do to help. He wouldn’t go so far as to say that he’d want to help Shiraku. She was still a little way from that, but Felistia, he’d grown to like and he’d want to help her if he could. That meant helping Shiraku too. Still, there wasn’t much he could do without all the pieces of the map to put the picture together. Maybe he’d ask Felistia next time she and him were alone.

Besides, in the morning he’d see Emerald. Maybe he’d be able to get a little information out of her, though he’d be a bit more carful now knowing a little more about what Felistia and Shiraku were dealing with. He might not know everything, but he knew enough to be on guard more than usual, at least until he knew what was going on.


That's a lot of thoughts but they do nicely develop this storyline. The plot is continuing to get more and more complicated. Also it seems odd that they totally ignore Zoltar's existence here.

And that word should be careful.

And the word in red doesn't seem to make sense in that context. Maybe go with puzzle.

And that's it.

Overall: This plot continues to get even more complicated and I love that.

Okay that's all for this. Just remember to take what you think will help.

Stay Safe
Harry




felistia says...


Thank you again for another review. Again good points that I'll have to look at once editing comes around. As for the map bit, I replace puzzle with map since dragons don't have puzzles but do have maps. I can see how it's confusing though. I'll have to rewrite that.



HarryHardy says...


Your Welcome!!!
And right, in that case they would have to use a word like map.



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Sun Jan 26, 2020 6:06 pm
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CaptainJack wrote a review...



Image


Hey there felistia.

I know I have definitely read some of your works in the past and I definitely remember some of these character popping up before. I recognize the names of Felistia and Zoltar, but I'm not sure that I remember what's up with Shiraku? With some of the overall arcs in the story I think I remember there being something going on that was similar to an avatar the last airbender plots. With all of the different dragons of these different legions who are duking it out for control of whatever world that they're in?

Zoltar is an interesting character with their hesitance about the other members of the party and their general panic about being on the run. They seem to be a little bit clueless about the whole situation that they are involved in. As a reader, I'm sure that there must be exact designs going into all of your characters, which all read as a little bit confusing.

I've noticed some repetitions in all of your stories that I've read over the years. Perhaps it's because they are all part of the same/similar series and often have same/similar main characters. I am interested in seeing where the rest of this story goes but I do admit that as a reader I don't exactly have my teeth in it. I'm hoping that as the story goes along it has more content with the intent of drawing the reader in, rather than these sort of loose descriptions of mystery and panic.

They are enough to continue interest in the overall story but so early on in the plot I think you might need to strengthen the writing. Besides this, there are some minimal issues with typos but everyone is bound to have one or two in a chapter. I think I saw some more of your chapters in the green room so I'll be back again soon.

Happy review day.
- Jack




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Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:40 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



I HAVE MISSED YOUUUU.

I am so happy to see these dragons again. At first, this chapter felt kind of like a filler almost or a warmup to get back into the swing of things, but the end actually made up for this random Wisp Talon attack with some really intriguing speculation; so now I feel the excitement again about reading more of this!

The chapter starts out with this really good and peaceful moment, and I think this does really well with sitting the stage for what was about to happen and potentially playing with your reader's emotions. I did notice there was a lot of reference to Shiraku's relationship with the others, and I can tell we're about to get into some of the answers we've been long awaiting!

I like that you worked some strategy into their escape route again. It made sense to me that they'd want to remain under cover and not get to open air, and it's much easier to fly either below or over trees, not through the branches. I feel like, though, that the Wisp Talons would catch them because the Wisp Talons can fly? My memory on the dragon details is a little weak, so it may just be me and the logic is clear when considering the information we've gotten already. Basically, this is just food for thought to ensure that this is clear to the reader by now. Reading it from my perspective and foggy memory, it felt like they weren't going to run nearly as fast as the Wisp Talons could fly.

I reeeally like that we're getting into the heart of Shiraku and Felistia's history. We've been wondering for a while about the details on why they're still here and what exactly happened to Shiraku and things like that. You've dropped some MASSIVE intrigue, giving Felistia a weakness now socially. For a while, it seemed like Felistia had it all figured out with Shiraku, but there's definitely a lot more to it. Bad decisions were made in the past and Shiraku isn't 100% about Felistia.

That leads me to wonder about Shiraku's decision! She threatened to leave Felistia, which proves even more that these two aren't BFFs or anything. They were living to survive, and they found the best way to do that was together -- for a time anyway. While Felistia was happy for the company, Shiraku remains skeptical about everyone including Felistia.

And on top of ALLLLL OF THAT, there's the Wisp Talon stuff and Emerald and EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO GO TOPSY TURVY. I'm really excited to see what happens.

Anyway, the chapter itself progressed really well from a peaceful scene to action-packed panic to dramatic sequence. You had a little bit of everything in here, and it was all to progress the plot. I'm excited to see things progress and see how this all fits together!!

Good to have you back. :D Keep writing!!

Jabber, the One and Only!




felistia says...


Thank you so much for the review. I have missed posting.

I'm glad you liked the structure. It's part of what took so long when it came to writing this chapter.

On the Wisp Talon attack. The wisp talons hadn't actually seen them when Zoltar smelled them. They made a retreat by foot so that the Wisp Talons wouldn't see them and case an attack.

Thank you again. The next chapter will go more into what Felistia and Shiraku's past was. :D




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