Stand Strong

Hey there! Just dropping off a short review.

I liked this poem! Not much of a religious person, but I can feel your firm faith through your words.

So first of all, have you considered splitting off into stanzas? A change in form could do wonders for this poem, by segregating the bits about feeling sad and depressed and its transition to feeling hopeful.

For example, you could split off this

I seem so small,

Insignificant,

When compared to it all.

Wow, Hsarver, this is supurb! I love how it starts out hopeless and depressing, and then in the most subtlest of ways and yet still very evident, you managed to mention the Atonement of the Savior and how He is our rock and redeemer and that without him we are insignificant and meaningless. Anyways, that was the message I got from it.

As for the written portion, I'd have to say it was just as good. The rhyming is there and your poem flows well for the better part. A lot of the phrases conveyed some good emotion and feeling as well. This is very deep and thoughtful. I loved it all and hope to read more from you! Good luck!

PFFT. With Christ by our side, we can't fall. In fact, He takes away our sins so that we can rise above!

So, I didn't realize that this was a religious poem at first, which actually is a pretty good sign. I mean, sometimes when the religious message is really there and in your face, it can seem a bit cliched, etc. Especially since many religious poems seem to be like psalms taken out and stripped of their meat. Boring! However, this was nicely done, and it looks like you took a metaphor out that was important to you and used it for your advantage. Hooray!

Anyway, hope this was somehow helpful, and keep writing!

This was an incredible poem! Such great word usage and the rhyming flowed well. I especially love the contrast near the end of the poem "But with You, I get through it all. In my weakness Your strength arrives, It coms to rescue, It comes to revive. There is nothing good in me I can find, But through Your grace, I will get by." This was such great writing and I could totally relate. It reminds me of just how hopeless and sinful I am without Jesus!

One word: Masterpiece! Two words: I'm addicted! I love it my friend! This poem gave me hope! Once I post the poem I wrote last night, it really gave me hope! Thank you! You're poems are always perfect, so what else can I say? Thanks for your poems and love for the Lord!

Wow I love this. It is sweet, sad, melancholy, but full of strength as well. The only amount of criticism I have is maybe try to make the last line rhyme with another? My particular favorite is when you said:
How do I stand strong,

Or rise above,

When everything around me

Is like a raging sea?

It seems so pointless,

To rise just to fall.

But with You,

I get through it all.
Great work! I like how you said that this person seems to be your ground. And that you rely on him. It really brings the whole poem together. Well done.

I like how you proclaim your faith, and you are open about it. Very nice. I also like the idea of this poem, it reminds me of some songs I hear on the radio. The words and flow are pretty great, but I feel this needs more punctuation. Once you are done with a thought, finish it.

"The mountains, the trees

Are strong and tall.

Like my obstacles,

They refuse to fall."

It would give this poem more direction and add finality. Another thing about these lines--that I like-- is your imagery. I love how you compare the tall, magnificent beings with your obstacles. How they are equally strong and stubborn.

"As I look into space

I seem so small,

Insignificant,

When compared to it all."

Again, just a period on the last line. Obviously this is portraying a feeling of unworthiness and insignificants. How, when you look at it, everything seems so much out of control, and you feel miniscule and unimportant.


"How do I stand strong,

Or rise above{ ? or , }

When everything around me

Is like a raging sea?"

You are searching for a strong, rooted post to support yourself, but you are having a hard time. You are feeling so overwhelmed by life that it becomes hard to focus.
On the second line, for punctuation, you could go either way. A question mark or comma would work fine. You don't have to put punctuation, but if you put some I believe you need to put it all. But hey, that's just me.

"It seems so pointless,

To rise just to fall.

But with You,

I get through it all."

In the beginning of this stanza, you seem to have lost hope. You are questioning whether it is worth it or not. You seem to be thinking, "What is the point of it all?". Then you come to a nice resolution; God. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"In my weakness Your strength arrives,

It comes to rescue,

It comes to revive.

There is nothing good in me I can find,

But through Your grace,

I will get by."

Here, you tell of how the Lord uses all of us, strengths and weaknesses alike, to glorify Him. It tells of how He will never let you fall, though you may stumble. You end with very refreshing hope. That through it all, he is holding you.

Altogether, I enjoyed this poem very, very much. The only criticism I have would be the punctuation, and that is just personal taste.

You did a great job. Keep writing. That's an order. :}

~Rainn

hey there!
This is a wonderful poem. When reading this I knew instantly it was about God. There were I few spelling mistakes such as "But through You grace" it should have been "but through YOUR grace." But we all make those. I especially like the part where you compare life as a raging sea "It seems so pointless, to rise just to fall." That's my favourite line. Keep up the good work:)