I have found myself at the foot of the cross
a land of new beginnings
Grace covers me, I struggle to accept
it's sweet appeal, I feel unworthy
How could God so love me, a wretched, broken sinner?
my mind wanders to the past
All my failures and regrets play out like a movie on the sliver screen
And God chose to save this?
In a moment so infinitesimally small, in the stillness of a long, drawn-out night like any other
while my heart felt dread and fell cold as stone, he spoke
Not an utterance heard aloud, but one deep within my heart, a love note from God, if you will
"Trust in me" it read, over and over again I mulled over the note.
But God my questions, my doubts, my struggles, and as I was about to continue my list of excuses
abruptly I recalled to mind his unfailing love for me, and I wept, bitterly at my failures
With the heart of a father, Christ came and rejuvenated my spirit, having forgiven me for every fault
And now I walk, but I do not so alone.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hey, WindSailor! It's ScytheMeister here for a quick review
First of all, I will comment on what I liked. I liked the concept, I'm not a devout believer, however I do accept the many beliefs that walk this earth and have debated the complexity and realism of most. What I loved about this was the emotion behind it. It did not tap into the complexity and force its words unto the reader (which I have sometimes found with certain [minority amounts] of religious works) but rather, it showed the emotion of this believer. It wasn't just directed towards religious groups. I think it could be interpreted beautifully by everyone and I think no matter what our background, no matter what we believe, we always have this doubt: Why me? Why us? Why are we the "chosen ones" essentially... Why do we deserve to survive?
However, there was the time in the poem in which Christ gave reassurance and guidance for the believer, which I found utterly beautiful. It shown a real connection between man and belief and it was heart-warming. Good Job!
I failed to find any real grammar mistakes. If there were and I haven't picked up on it, I apologise.
The layout though, is much different from most poems. I would have been nitpicky and disagreed with it but I actually found that it matched the contents of the poem quite well.
Good Job, I hope to read more like this
Keep Writing! <3
- ScytheMeister
In a moment so infinitesimally small, in the stillness of a long, drawn-out night like any other(,)
while my heart felt dread and fell cold as stone, he spoke
But God my questions(,)..
These sentence is too long to say in one breath I felt like it needed a comma. Sorry I dont know how to highlight sentences to comment on !
I think in the beginning you could describe where you are and what part of the environment made you suddenly feel worthless so readers can have a better understanding of how you came reflect on your past. Or if you don't know why you suddenly decide to think about this perhaps you could mention it.
YES YES YES and AMEN. Finally someone of alike faith! Beautiful words and concept, you just need a little help with the format. If you were making up your own way of doing poetry with the lines and things, awesome. But, if you were trying to go for something more traditional, I would suggest short lines and less words. Poetry is usually a power packed punch and one of the reasons why the form of writing that is poetry is so strong and great is because the Poet can portray what they are feeling in a smaller amount of words than most normal writers. That is pretty much the only thing I see here right now. But I really do love it. I legit fangirled when I read it because I was soooooo so so happy to finally read something that reminds me of God's grace and love. It is definitely the most amazing thing that I have ever felt and seen in my own life as well as others too. I marvel at your courage to publish something that is so outstanding with your faith too. Ugh it's just so great omg. Keep going!