Young Writers Society

I really enjoyed this poem. It had a wonderful message to readers of all ages. I believe everyone has to go through a period in their life where they question the meaning of life. Then he/she has to make a conclusion. My conclusion is the exact same as yours! We need to live for Jesus.

The only nitpick I would mention is to not use so many cliche phrases. They make it less original.

Very well done though!

Hai! Gummy's my name, reviewing's my game!

What? No innocent remark regarding this piece? Ain't nobody got time for that!


So, anyway, I'll start with the good points, as always. There's no use catching people's attention by telling them to change, after all. Anyway, as a Christian, I admire your religious devotion, (and your bravery; teenagers like to... "experiment" with their beliefs, after all.) and the theme is kept firm (like our Father's grip on our hands).

Onto what you can make better. I noticed some of the lines within the same verse rhyme. I'm not sure if this was intentional, but, in my opinion, a poem either does rhyme or it doesn't. I wouldn't settle for an in-between.

That's the biggest issue I noticed, so I'll just leave the rest to the other reviewers. As always, take care, and remember, practice is key. I expect to read more of your works in the near future.

God bless,
Gummy

Wow! Great poem, it carries the reader through a beginning, middle, and end like any good story. In fact, what a poetic and beautiful way to represent your testimony!

The first stanza is so Hamlet it really surprised me when the speaker had a change of heart. Here I started the poem wondering if you were going to quote Shakespeare and I finished with the final stanza, that had direct quotes from The Bible. It's like Hamlet rewritten with a happy ending.

I liked the wave imagery, it really showed the power of depression, and highlighted how even MORE powerful God is.

I also liked how you ended the first stanza with a question, showing the uncertainty. And then you ended the second stanza with a period showing decisiveness. And finally, your last stanza ended in an exclamation, seeming like a praise.

I also liked how your poem reached a climax by showing the wave of depression being replaced with Satan hurling insults on the speaker. This wave of self doubt and depression suddenly had a supernatural source. And of course, how God is your everlasting solution.

The second and thirst stanza had similar format and I like the parallels, showing the constant reliance and rescuing aspect of your relationship with God. And I liked the capitalization of Me and My, great characterization of God.

Also I could be wrong (I know this is an issue of debate) but I think you need an Oxford Comma in this line:
Satan mocks, insults and throws lies into my mind
I think it should be this Satan mocks, insults, and throws lies into my mind

Haha got you! Did you think the issue of debate was going to be a religious one? Haha but good for you for speaking up about your beliefs in the form of poetry.

Bravo, great job!

There is heavy religious imagery present here that really communicates your ideas.
'But God my Father, the True and Holy One.'
However, I would refrain from becoming too reliant on it. It becomes a little overdone in the final verse/stanza.

However, the message in your work is intriguing.
Including the title: 'What I Was Missing'
For you to be missing Jesus was not what I was expecting.

An interesting surprise.

I loved this. I use Christian themes in a lot of my work as well, I thought this poem was absolutely gorgeous. However, if you've seen my reviews on YWS, then you know that I always "Have a few nitpicks".

The nitpick I have in stanza one is The punctuation at the very end. It should be a question mark, as you are asking a question. We all do this. It's all good in the hood! Lol, haha bad joke.
Second little nitpick. Second stanza, line one. The semi colon shouldn't be there. I do this all the time. Replace it with a comma or a period. For technical errors, this is all I have.
I appreciate your rhyming throughout the second two stanzas. I loved this, and I loved ow you pulled it off naturally. I just want to say that the first stanza has no rhymes, so try adding in a few there. Just so the poem is a tad more consistent.

I loved this poem a lot. It's actually one of my favorites mainly because it does incorporate Christian themes. I love how the narrator goes from an all time low, to feeling the light of Christ in them. I thought it was just a gorgeous idea, and you executed it well. So keep writing, and I hope to see more of your works. GREAT JOB!