Love
Love is stronger than hate, more potent than pride,
it's preposterous to me that we could let it die
Love is not easy and it's not always sweet
but it's worth our life, it's worth everything
Love never fails, but it stands faithful and true
shining bright like the sun at noon
As morning breaks another day
true love will remain
A love that reflects the hope of a savior
to the broken and to all those who labor
Acquiring earthly riches and chasing sensual pleasures
all for nothing but a fading desert treasure
These riches allude and come as an illusion
drawing them away to a dark, desolate ruin
But hope is the light in the distance
calling out to all who will listen.
So, love with all your passion, strength and might
for love is not a dance, it's a fight
A fight for the soul, personality, and heart
the very things that make us who we are
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140,159 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hi! Let's take a look at your poem, shall we?
So, as a previous reviewer said, writing poetry about love is HARD. And it is. So, like Rascalover, I do applaud you for trying! There are very few love poems well-written that totally capture the sensation; this isn't quite there, but not many are. That's okay. It's pretty clear you know what you're doing. I love the word choices you use, even in the first stanza! Potent is such a perfect word, and so is preposterous. Both have that soft yet impactful noise that really set the tone for your poem.
Right off the bat, it's clear what you're saying. You just come right out and say it. Now, I usually prefer poetry to be wrapped in metaphor in simile so that the readers really have to think about the theme and draw their own conclusions. But sometimes you can't do that. And that's okay. When dealing with such a twisty, escapable sort of theme it gets easier and makes more of an impression when you just say it. You use examples and descriptions. Let's look at those!
The sun/morning-- this one is very clever. It's what we revolve around, and making it so constant as being there as often as the sunrise is a great method.
That sort of theme continues throughout the poem, with your comparisons of darkness and sunlight.
I really like the near-rhymes you have going here. Overall, you have a pretty good poem. I would try to add a bit more description, but that's it. Good job!
Hi!!
In a writing class I recently took, my professor told us writing poetry about love was extremely hard because you would have to read a hundred love poems and experience love within yourself before you were actually able to express that kind of feeling in poetry. She wouldn't even allow us to attempt it. So, I applaud you were trying!
I think if you added a bit more showing details and descriptions, instead of just telling your readers what the feeling of love is, I think it would start much lovely. The last line in the first stanza seems out of place because of the "it's worth everything" part. What is everything? Why is it worth everything?
The first line of the second stanza separates with the word but. I don't think this is fitting because but usually insinuates a difference in something. Like, love never fails, but it can be imperfect. I also think the last line in the second stanza doesn't need to start with the word love. It sounds redundant.
Stanza three is a beautiful example of showing details and imagery, great job!
The first line in the fourth stanza sounds redundant with using both words allude and illusion. But, I really do like the rhyming in this stanza.
Thanks for the great read,
Tiffany