Cold Steel
bites my white flesh
little red lines bubble
spilling over
dripping crimson relief
releasing all at once
years of remorse
regret and anguish
but as the physical pain is fleeting
and the sting is all but gone
the emotions expelled
by the bite of steel
return once again
So one more cut
one more red line
and all the strain
is drained away
but still emotions return
like dull stars
shining against a black sky
unlike at first
when the emotions flew by
like a meteor across the sky
lighting it to a shade of red
that takes away the numbing blackness
So one cut
turns into another
and another
and another
until I’m left numb in darkness
with sheets stained red
blood on my hands
blood on the blade
the blade in my hand
my eyes going black
mind becoming numb
I’m drifting into sleep
a peaceful dreamless sleep
Will I wake up?
Maybe
maybe not
maybe its better
to die this way
by the bite of cold steel
maybe its better to die
by my self inflicted wounds
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
intense. i LOVE IT! this is exactly my favorite type of writing. dont give it up and dont change it, no matter what anyone says.
Hey SilentRain!
First of all, the answer is no, it's not better that way. Then you can't write poems, no?
I like the first stanza! It has sharp descriptions of blood which are unambiguous! It's good! You need to keep up that imagery as you continue your poem. Also, don't worry about letting us know about every single thought that occurs while cutting... sometimes, actions are better than thoughts. What you need to do with topics such as cutting is to just let the actions speak for the desperation. It'll be a lot more powerful that way!
Good luck!
I like the feeling of anguish and somewhat that of sadness in this. Alot of people talk about this in many poems, but I think you're actually feeling the hurt, so to speak. Other than that, there are no complaints. Good work!
I think you have potential with this piece, it's about a very dark and important topic. You conjure a lot of emotion and I like how you exemplify that self-harming has addictive properties.
I think you mean inflicted here.