Ever feel like me?

Hey SilentRain,

Stunning. I think that pretty mich sums it up. A little note, in the third stanza, its "family's" not "families". There were a few grammatical things, nothing that bad, just read over it once just to check up on it, otherwise, it was truly amazing.

I have to say, I am a fan of your work, I can feel that it comes deep from your soul, and that you mean every word. The feeling and emotion isn't animated, but real. Making your work so powerful and strengthening when others read it. And for the record, I have felt like some of those stanzas before.

Amazing work from an amazing writer! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

Hey there Silent, as part of the quest that you have given me, I'm here. I know you already told me not to review everything if I don't have the time to, but guess what? I'll take this as a challenge. xD Though I'm going to give you shorter reviews now. I'll be concentrating on the themes instead of nitpicking.

BUT...

these will never go unnoticed so I'll tell you again:

The difference between your and you're.


Pay attention here: You keep on not using "you're"; then you use your with its grammatical purpose somewhere else in the poem. This can be very confusing. Especially you're using standard punctuations. You're is you are; your is a possessive pronoun.

This is wrong:

Because your afraid to face him...

Because you're afraid to face him,

won't

I have.
I still do.
You probably have to <have to do what?>.
You made it through.
I guess that means I can too…

Oh and the last line when thing look up. awesome. I wish I could write that well. Putting emotions in to words is not as easy as it looks.

This covers tons of emotions people feel all the time, but it seems like your writing it from a depressed persons point of view. Which to be honest, I love. I am addicted to tragedy, and this is amazing. The repetitiveness gives it rhythm, and the rhythm is awesome. Keep it up.

Thanks for the comments! This was about me, but it was written awhile ago... I'm going better now...

~Rain~

Wow, is what came to mind while reading this. Wow at the emotion, at the words you used to describe it and wow at the situation.
You are a very talented writer besides a few typos that Lav pointed out this was wonderful. In some places I feel like you could have worded it different, like the words broke the flow or something but maybe thats just me. I look forward to reading more of your work and, if this is about you (even if it's not) you can always talk to me about anything Some people do understand even though it seems like no one ever will. Were almost halfway there, we can make it the rest of the way too.

Much Luck and Love,
Change

wow. I feel your pain.
I really like it. XD

The way you wrote it was really good. It seems like you're telling us your story without the intention of letting us feel the same way too, when in fact, we did. I also liked the last part - my favorite. It shows hope. Wonderful work. And Kudos to your writing.

-KAT <3

SilentRain wrote:Have you ever felt afraid?
Afraid to go home?
Because your daddy beats your step-mom?
Because you're afraid to face him,
after begging him to stop?

Have you ever felt imprisoned?
Imprisoned in your room?
Because you have nowhere to go?
Nowhere to run to,
Because he took that refuge away too?

Have you ever felt responsible?
Responsible for all that’s going wrong?
Always finding a way to blame yourself,
for your families pain,
for your father's rage?

Have you ever felt powerless?
Powerless and unable to control a thing
that happens in your life?
Unable to get a grip,
and hold on to what's left?

Have you ever felt trapped?
Trapped in an abyss of blood and razors?
Where you can’t stop cutting?
Where you don’t want to stop,
even when the scars get too hard to hide?

Have you ever felt hated?
Hated for something you did?
Something you said?
Even though you can’t remember,
What you did to deserve that hate?

Have you ever felt unheard?
Unheard and misunderstood?
So you decide not to talk?
Then people get mad cause you won't talk,
even though thatthey get madder when you do?

Have you ever felt alone?
Alone and isolated away from the world?
Like you're just a ghost passing through?
Thinking your alive,
When in reality you’ve been dead all along?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed?
Overwhelmed by so many emotions,
that you feel like you’ll explode?
But even then there’s no escape,
from the emotions locked inside?

Have you ever felt abandoned?
Abandoned by those that are supposed to love you?
Your friends and family?
Left out in the streets,
to rot away unnoticed?

Have you ever felt confused?
Confused about it all?
One day it’s this, the next it’s that?
You don’t know what to trust,
don’t know what to believe?

Have you ever felt like saying good bye?
Good bye, good bye to all that’s trapped inside?
Good bye to the hate, the fear, the pain?
Good bye to the emotions the stresses, the blame?
Good bye to this life that’s not worth living?

I have.
I still do.
you probably have to.
you made it through.
I guess that means I can too…