Another old poem still unsure if it needs work...
I don't have a name
yet I am called by many
I don't have a face
yet may paintings
are done in my image
I don't have a voice
yet many words of mine
travel among the crowded streets
I am not a Who
but a What
I am the begin
and the end
I am the wind
and the breeze
I am the water
and the trees
I am the night
and the shadows
I am the light
and the medows
I am all things
good and bad
I am all things
happy or sad
You don't know me
but I know you
So be careful
Watch what you do
I am not God
though I could be
I am whoever it is
you choose me to be
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139,636 Literary Works • 672,636 Reviews
Waow! Captivating.
A couple of corrections-
It's written "may paintings" where it should be "many".
If you've used "End", you should have used "beginning" in place of "begin.
Your poem kind of rises a sense of caution in the mind of the reader. As if there's someone watching over us all the time. The 'yes's and 'no's were attractive indeed, what you are and what not. The poem included many things together and that's what made it all the more interesting. Good job!!
Hey There -
I don't have a nameWow. There is so much in this poem... It doesn't follow a specific pattern rhythm wise, and that is different and intriguing
I liked it's diversity, but I must admit that some bits confused me...
Such as:
yet I am called by many
I wasn't sure what you were describing, and thought maybe this was a guessing game, meant for the reader to picture the painting before it is unveiled at the end (of the poem) if that makes any sense.
But then you say many wonderful little tidbits on water and night, and lose me.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I honestly did waver and stumble a bit...
I like your style. I'm not sure what this needs... Some imagery perhaps? maybe some more vividness in you pictures... also something to think about -not only is everything everything, but everything is also nothing...
Just saying...
I must admit, there is some thruth to
I am whoever it is
you choose me to be
Liked it. Keep working, SilentRain. There is some real, tangible potential here.
Best Regards -
IamHathor22