z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

End as we know it. Genre: Flash Fiction. Approx 150 words

by Radrook


It's the end of the world as we know it and nobody knows it but she and me. 

The rest are all complacent and contented, singing institutionalized songs to the tune of the croaking trees that curiously stare through their barred windows. 

But who can blame them?

The stout porcine-snouted nurse has mesmerized them all while the dying sun spits its last fetid light in her face. Soon, very soon, moribund birds will shrill their final sibilant songs in her elfish ears. 

I can hear her blustering heart wildly beating in anticipation.

I can feel her curdling blood rushing through her narrow, green, twisted veins. 

She contortions her limbs to the erratic rhythm of the faltering white-wall clock in the narrow hallway.

Oh if I could only claw my way out of this padded cell, run across the writhing, serpent-covered floor and save her simmering soul I would.

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61 Reviews

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Reviews: 61

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Fri May 25, 2018 4:45 pm
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StuckOnEarth wrote a review...



Hiya! Space here for a short lil review.

Holy crap. I couldn't NOT review this. Once again, you've created a truly beautiful piece of literature.
Flash fiction can sometimes be hard to create, because of how short and quick it is, but you successfully made this short story captivating and interesting to read.
The mysterious topic mixed with the colorful, elaborate grammar and description really pulls in the reader.
and rather then making me beg for more, im more satisfied with the short story by itself, and it leaves me daydreaming about the backstory, what's happening, the characters, etc.

all in all, it's a really quick, satisfying read. good job!

~Space




Radrook says...


Thanks for the review and encouraging words. Good to know you enjoyed the read. Very true about limiting the words to 100. It can be hard to find just the right balance.



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Fri May 25, 2018 4:11 pm
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Wordzyy wrote a review...



Oh my god! You have made this piece way more imaginative. This story could totally relate to the feeling one gets when near to death.
The vocabs were strong that made the story even more lively.

The finish you gave by these following words were so touching:

"Oh if I could only claw my way out of this padded cell, run across the writhing, serpent-covered floor and save her simmering soul I would."

It was emotional and creative. Awesome work.




Radrook says...


Thanks for the review. Happy to know that it was a good read. I usually try to stay clear of horror or macabre stories since I inevitably wind up spooking myself. But I guess this one isn't that bad since I can read it without feeling skittish or feeling that something is about to wrap its slithering tentacles around my pencil neck and choke me.



Wordzyy says...


You're welcome. But, you are very good at horror stories too. Yes! We go to that spooky place through our writing. This one was very good.
And the feel you just gave in these lines:
" something is about to wrap its slithering tentacles around my pencil neck and choke me."
This was quite an imagination! I could get that eerie feel through these words.




I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault