.
Words are like drugs.
They can calm the nervous,
or set them roiling with blood boiling
recoiling and ricocheting
off bone muscle and tendon.
Cause confusion of mind,
contusions via implications,
dazzle the blind
with sarcastic brilliance
of infamous insinuations.
Instigate commotions,
mimic acidic corrosion,
a piercing stab,
or savage bludgeon,
a clawing grab.
Hurl the depressed into a deeper dungeon
of their own despair,
stripped mercilessly bare
to public stare
of life impaired.
Words are like drugs
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,755 Reviews
Good afternoon friend!
Apologies for happy biases in the following review. To begin with, I'm in love with your writing style. It reminds me of many drafts i have saved in dark folders away from judgmental eyes. Reading your verses is like body surfing in the ocean on a windy day, Your first line is calm and sober but as your poem progresses the power of your words surges like the waves, growing ever more intense until the end. At the end it crashes to a calm by repeating the first verse. I love your word usage, the paired adjectives and actions and use of alliteration in parts really appeals to me.
When I first began reading, it momentarily bugged me that some of your verses are capitalized and some are not. But as i read i realized you used that to your advantage in terms of organization. Each capitalized line begins a section of your work, each capitalized line continues that. I rather like it.
Your spelling is impeccable, so good that!
Have a great day and may you never again know writers block
Thanks for the encouraging words. Your review is very informative and will greatly help me as a writer.
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
)) Anywho, I love how you styled the poem and it flowed very well. ONTO THE MEANING!!!
So, to start off this review a few lines here and there are missing commas. Those lines would be "hey can calm the nervous", "or set them roiling with blood boiling", "Cause confusion of mind", "contusions via implications", "dazzle the blind" and "with sarcastic brilliance". A few places need periods but those should be easy to spot! ((almost typed sports! Ewwwww
Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that words can hurt, so damn much. They can become something we need, be it nice or bad. These words can be like knives in our back or maybe even sweet candy, relief from the evil in this world. But what you know is that most words are knives. Poised knives.
Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanks- WAIT, MERRY CHRISTMAS, I CAN SAY THAT NOW! OR HAPPY HANUKA I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Thanks for the review. Will fix the punctuation.
No problem!
Amazing rhyme scheme in the beginning. Trails off and becomes unimaginative near the end.
Still, good work.
Thanks for the review. How can I make it more imaginative towards the end?
Try sticking to the longer more descript style of verse you started with rather than shortening the lines which is what you did near the end.
Try sticking to the longer more descript style of verse you started with rather than shortening the lines which is what you did near the end.
Thanx for the advice. Very much appreciated.
Sorry for the double post. YWS freaked out when I posted this.
Love the poem! The one thing I didn't really enjoy was the fact that the letters at the start of a new line weren't capitalized. While it may have distracted me the slightest but, I still loved it the same.It was very deep and heart-felt, something I look for in a poem. I think you did a great job, and I congratulate you! Great job and Keep up the fantastical work!:)
Thanks for the review.
Maybe my being a victim of barrages of incessant insults helped. LOL!
Maybe!XD
Hello! I really like this poem. I think it perfectly describes the power and addictiveness of words. I really liked the desperation of the middle sections.
One thing I noticed was in this line, "hurling the depressed into deeper dungeons/of there own despair," you wrote "there" when it should be "their".
Suggestion: In the first line, I would replace "nervous" with "nerves", but that's just me.
Have you ever considered doing spoken word poetry? This made me think of that, you might enjoy it.
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem and I appreciate what it meant from my interpretation. Your comparison of words and drugs was accurate, to say the least. I really enjoyed reading it, keep writing!
ella
Thanks!
Here is the revised version based on the two reviews:
Words are like drugs, calming the nerves
or setting them roiling with blood boiling
recoiling and ricocheting off bone muscle
and tendon
causing confusion and contusions via implications
dazzling the blind with sarcastic brilliance
of infamous insinuations,
instigating commotions, mimicking acidic corrosion,
a piercing stab, or savage bludgeon or
a clawing grab,
hurling the depressed into deeper dungeons
of there own despair,
stripping them mercilessly bare to public stare
of a life impaired via things declared.
Hey there, Radrook, it's your girl Leafpool coming in with a review!
I absolutely ADORE the rhyming in this poem. And no grammar or punctuation mistakes, nice!
I don't know why but I feel that I need to share this; while I was reading this, in my head, the beginning was slow and calm and then around here
¨a piercing stab, or savage bludgeon or
a clawing grab,
hurling the depressed into deeper dungeons
of there own despair,
stripping them mercilessly bare to public stare
of a life impaired via things declared.¨
I started reading it really intensely and quickly but the last line was really slow and somber again. Again, felt like I needed to share that, still not sure why.
Anyway, great poem, keep writing!
Thanks for the review:
I will see what I can do to fix that last line. To be honest, I had stopped he poem at the previous line and that last came with difficulty and I hesitated in adding it. I think I will remove it since it seems redundant. Thanks!
Here is the revised version based on the two reviews:
-
Words are like drugs, calming the nerves
or setting them roiling with blood boiling
recoiling and ricocheting off bone muscle
and tendon
causing confusion and contusions via implications
dazzling the blind with sarcastic brilliance
of infamous insinuations,
instigating commotions, mimicking acidic corrosion,
a piercing stab, or savage bludgeon or
a clawing grab,
hurling the depressed into deeper dungeons
of there own despair,
stripping them mercilessly bare to public stare
of a life impaired via things declared
Here is the revised version based on the two reviews:
-
Words are like drugs, calming the nerves
or setting them roiling with blood boiling
recoiling and ricocheting off bone muscle
and tendon
causing confusion and contusions via implications
dazzling the blind with sarcastic brilliance
of infamous insinuations,
instigating commotions, mimicking acidic corrosion,
a piercing stab, or savage bludgeon or
a clawing grab,
hurling the depressed into deeper dungeons
of there own despair,
stripping them mercilessly bare to public stare
of a life impaired via things declared