Young Writers Society

Hey there, hope in for a quick review! I may not be the great reviewer around here, but I'll do my best as I am still learning. If there is anything offensive/incorrect I said. Please do reply here or PM me! Just please don't hunt me down or haunt my nightmares! Welcome gift and donation all the time.
Hope my quick is promising quick.

And here I am thinking he is some kind of Hermes. God of mischieve and yet can get away from everything.

It is hilarious to see this perspective of prison. Making the best of situation. The mischevious persona really matches the story instead of a down-spirit human. This is what humour should be instead! I don't read much of humour but for some reason this attracted me. And I have not regret even the slightest bit.

After reading with a tone down from spelling checks. I realize it was talking in a slang./ street language after reading the word nuffin. However, it
everythang (everything) and day (they) (thay) a part of the slang or a genuine spelling mistake?

Karma, a spitting image that finally lands him in jail.

Awesome work Radrook!

Hey, Radrook! This is pretty well done. The dialogue is funny, though at first he sounds too educated. You need an apostrophe after "spittin." Also, you should leave off the G both times you use the word, just for the sake of consistency, because this guy needs to be more consistent. The first sentence needs to be broken up, I think. "instantly arrested and imprisoned" needs a capital I. I can't see many other issues. You left a space out in your sentence about everyone else getting the breaks. "I broke and entered..." needs some work. It would be better like, "I broke and entered, mugged, raped, and nuffin' (note apostrophe) happened. I got off scot-free." Which, by the way, is how I've seen "scot-free" in other works. "Well, finally here I am!" needs a comma after "finally." You misspelled "done." "Beating-up" doesn't need a hyphen. Also, when you use a hyphen like a dash, it's better as a double hyphen, so people don't get confused. Lastly, I liked this. It's pretty good.

Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If i offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

"Cops dint seem to wanna see me or what I was doing." Let's try 'didn't' instead of 'dint'.

"...everathang and day dint even have to break no sweat." And We are leaving the grammar station at an alarming rates! Everything instead of 'evrathang' and Didn't for 'dint'.

From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.

I love the sort of Western quality of this persona. I can visualize them speaking and that creates the rest of the setting for me. Very good dialect and consistency within the character's personality.

It would be awesome if we saw this person interacting with other people in the near future!

Great work.