z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Cold: Flash Fiction

by Radrook


"Night is very cold on Mars isn’t it you fool? Eighty below zero near the equator and almost two-hundred below near the northern icecap. Why you agreed to this insanity is beyond me." Alfonso Espinosa, the Mars Mission commander, softly berated himself as he sat shivering morosely in one frigid corner of the habitat, dark, oriental eyes riveted intently on the only other human in the shelter, Catalina Rubenstein.

"Complaining about it isn’t going to fix it, so why bother sir?" geologist Catalina Rubenstein, once humorously referred to as the blond bombshell astronaut, responded. She had been fiddling with the computer in what seemed as an effort to keep her mind off the numbing cold but as usual the captain’s audible complaining had disturbed her precious concentration.

"Just a matter of time until the dust storm is over and the photovoltaicsolar panels can recharge our heaters." she added emotionlessly.

"Sure, that’s if we haven’t turned to human icicles by then!" the captain replied gruffly. There were puffs of vapor from his mouth each time he spoke, as if to remind him just how cold it was.

"You knew that this could happen when you signed up-didn’t you sir?" Catalina uttered without turning around to speak with him face to face.

"Obviously," the captain replied sarcastically. He had noticed that Catalina always repeated the obvious whenever he stated it and it grated on his nerves. It had become increasingly weird. Unlike him, she seemed to lack the need for human conversation and usually sat with her back to him cocooned in her brown parka and totally engrossed in her work.

"Fascinating isn’t it?" she suddenly added. The captain expected another dissertation about the wonders of geology of this forlorn planet. At first, he had usually cut her off immediately and walked away to avoid the frustration of having to serve as a captive audience. But this time, just the sound of another human voice was comforting.

"All this geological activity that occurred here so many millions of years ago. How this was once a world where water rained and flowed on the surface, and pooled to form lakes and even seas. Yet all we have now is this."

"That’s the usual story!" Captain Espinosa responded through chattering teeth.

During the weeks following the freak accident that had eliminated the other two members of the crew, he wondered whether NASA had pulled some practical joke on him by secretly including an android in the mission. Actually, he wished they had. An android would have been easier to tolerate after all, one expects an android to be emotionally shallow and uncommunicative. That he could tolerate. But this he could not. From a fellow human being, he expected compassion, some sign of weakness, some need for physical contact. At least a smile or a frown. But instead there was nothing at all. Everything she said she said mechanically.

"Then we have these emissions of methane which might be indicative of life."she continued as if sealed hermetically in her own little universe.

"How are they being regularly replenished is the question. Once this sandstorm is over, I will determine once and for all whether the replenishment is organically traceable or if it’s just plain inorganic chemistry."

There was a sudden rattle as the wind picked up and thrust the sand against the sides of their habitat. But it didn’t faze her one bit. Not even a flinch at the ominous sound or a glance at its location. On many an occasion, he had felt an almost irresistible urge to test and see if she bled. But he had resisted the inclination to test that hypothesis as she had silently gone about her geological work, drilling here, chemically testing there, gathering samples with an expressionless, pale face.

He felt ashamed when he’d wish her the one who had died instead of the other two astronauts.

"Don’t you ever tire of that geology business?" he suddenly heard himself utter as if from some far distance. As usual she waited an agonizingly long time before responding-as if to say that he was of very little importance in her universe and that it was best he kept his distance.

"No I don’t sir," she responded without turning to look at him. He cringed and bit his lower lip until it bled while his upper lip trembled with rage. He glanced at the thermometer. It was now thirty-two below zero Farenheit, the same temperature he had once experienced when living in Chicago as a young adult. It was a temperature that had intimidated him into moving to sunny Florida. But now here he was, millions of miles from Earth by choice, in a veritable freezer.

"How much time until daylight?" he asked her as she peered intently at a soil sample under the microscope and then, silently had it projected on her computer screen.

"The chronometer on your wrist is broken sir?" she responded unemotionally while jotting down whatever it was that had impressed her from the sample.

"Ïs it too much trouble for you to tell me?" There was an edge to his voice that he had always managed to subdue but which now seemed to have taken on a life of its own.

"Of course it’s trouble. Can’t you see I am busy?"

He wondered how such a bitch had gotten on the exploration team. After all, NASA people were always very scrupulous in how they paired up people. Psychological tests were done to assure that crew members were mutually supportive and not antagonistic. How had this woman fooled them all? She was clearly unsociable. No even worse-she was blatantly antagonistic.

Of course she hadn’t been like that during the six-month voyage. Then she had been all giggles and smiles. But now that they were the two remaining survivors of the crew, she seemed more alien than the very alien planet on which they landed. It made him wonder whether this was indeed the same woman that had boarded the spacecraft. It was as if she had undergone some drastic transformation. He wondered whether indeed the mysterious deaths of the other crewmembers had been due to an accident as they tumbled down a crevasse. Whether she were not in fact,being manipulated by some alien force that wanted to torture him in some experimental way before putting him to death.

"Yes, I do see that you are busy Catalina. That is obvious. What I don’t see is your humanity!" he blurted out.

With that she slowly turned around to face him with a wide smile on her face.


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29 Reviews


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Reviews: 29

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Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:19 pm
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lemonboi wrote a review...



This is a really interesting story; I look forward to reading more.

Usually I wouldn't read anything about space, but this really caught my attention. I love how much emotion you put into the details of Alfonso's character, and I thought it was cool how antisocial Catalina was (it really surprised me when I read about her being happy on the trip to mars), and then her sudden smile at the end.

I did catch one thing in this statement, though.

"There was a sudden rattle as the wind picked picked up and thrust the sand against the sides of their habitat."

I wanted to point out that you repeated "picked" and sorry if you meant to do that.

But there was nothing else I found, so keep going! I'd love to see more!

≠emolemon≠




Radrook says...


Thanks for the review. Glad to know you enjoyed the story. Yikes! How did I miss that repetition typo? Will fix.. Thanks for the help.



lemonboi says...


no problem! I'm just trying to get used to this writing reviews thing.



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15 Reviews


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Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:04 pm
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Cyvain87 wrote a review...



First of all apologies for the empty comment! My twitchy fingers got the better of me just then. Now to my review!

I absolutely love the way Catalonia and Alfonso seem to be at odds after the mysterious accident. It adds an element of humour to the story amongst the mystery of the story. It grabbed my interest and I very much look forward to reading more of your works.

However critique wise I am finding it hard to find anything to mention as an improvement. Very well written I feel.




Radrook says...


Thanks for the review and the encouraging words.



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15 Reviews


Points: 28
Reviews: 15

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The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb