Hello, darling!
How do you do?
I hope you're doing well.
Oh, how I miss you!
I miss your little dimples
that you get when you smile.
And the way your cheeks get rosy red
when you laugh a little while.
I miss your round hazel eyes
that analyzed everything they saw.
You always were a pensive person,
though I never saw that as a flaw.
I miss the way your face
glowed so bright with beauty,
and drew jealous looks from other women
who'd never seen such a cutie.
I hope that you'll return to me.
I hope we'll meet again someday.
We'll sit and read and talk for a while
in a beautiful place worlds away.
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Canary word: Present
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139,365 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Hi there,
Wow, this is a great poem that describes the feelings of a person towards a loved one. It is simple, straight forward, and still incredibly well-written with great use of imagery. It was a great piece for me to read after a long, tiring day
Keep writing, you are great!
Hello, Anne here for a review. I just read one of your more recent poems and it inspired me to dig through your thread a bit. So, here I am after a little bit of profile stalking.
I love the way that you made the speaker express their feelings. i felt like I could relate to how they felt.
Since I could relate to the pain presented, I did not find many mistakes. There is one thing that I noticed though. In your last stanza, repeating I hope seems to be a bit extra. I am aware that sometimes authors repeat things to get their point across, but it felt like a bit much here.
For some reason, reading this put the brightest of smiles on my face. keep writing, I love reading your works both old and new! You should have YWS bump this poem, I am sure that a bunch of the newer YWS people would love to read this.
Have a good day
-Anne
Hello, InfiniteRectangles. Another great work from you I see. Your gift in writing poetry is quite rare. I really enjoyed it and I loved the way you described your darling. I don't have much else to say.
This was my favorite part. It just rolls off your tongue and has such a satisfying sound. I especially liked the "cutie" part. Anyway, that's all for my review. It was to perfect to correct. Keep writing so I can keep reviewing!
~Keepwriting
This reminds me of this YouTuber called Doddleoddle who writes songs like this! I really love this poem!
♥
Hey there!
Aww... that was really sweet! You know while reading this a smile was plastered on my face. I like the way you open the poem with a sweet hello... I really found it sweet. I really liked your poem and personally there isn't a thing I would like to change about it, but since this site is all about improving I'll try and point atleast one thing for you.
Oh yeah I finally got one( though it's not necessarily quite important, but that's the only thing I can come up with right now)
In a poem it is not always necessary to rhyme. What matters is the flow. In your poem though the flow was good, the rhyming sounded forced in certain places. So I suggest don't get stuck with a particular rhyme scheme or something, just let your words flow freely without any restrictions.
Really I know this is really not helpful, but hey I dint find any nitpicks in it...so yeah I hope to see more of your work around here.
Fangirl~
It's a really good poem and you have done very well. It reflects your emotions of missing that particular person. But as I was going through the poem I found some common errors.
Every sentence that you are introducing in a stanza should start with a CAPITAL letter.
Like this,
I miss the way your face
Glowed so bright with beauty
And drew jealous looks from other women
Who'd never seen such a cutie.
These are some errors. But overall the flow of the poem is perfect. Nicely done. Keep it up.