Young Writers Society

*waves*
Hey, there! I'm not sure how much of a review you want on this beautiful piece or if you just posted it for the fun of it. But I'll share a few thoughts, anyhow.

This poem reminds me of my parents, tbh. They both talked like this so much before they started taking their gym life seriously. I like how this poem kind of works through the person's thought process. SO MANY PEOPLE talk/think like this (*cough* even me *cough*), which makes this super relatable.

The first few lines started out great with a bouncy little flow and rhythm to it, but the last two lines of stanza 1 didn't seem to have that flow. After that, the rhyming was over, and it felt more like a person speaking. It's short and fun and nothing super deep (at least I don't think...)

Thanks for sharing!

Hello! Sophie here to review!
First stanza- so relatable its amazing. I love the rhyme scheme and I can hear the people talking! it makes me feel not alone in a silly pathetic way...
Second stanza-I like how this starts out as trying to be reassuring but slowly slowly loses it. the ellipses fit in so perfect.
Third stanza- I like how this ties in everything in a care free way! With this last sentence, everything is pulled together in a goofy, giving up way.
Sophie out!

Ooo, i spotted a possible rhyme scheme for u there, "or maybe weeks, or days....." Maybe add "just one donut please, make it glazed!"

But yeah, so relatable.

Ooo, i spotted a possible rhyme scheme for u there, "or maybe weeks, or days....." Maybe add "just one donut please, make it glazed!"

This is more relatable than I'd like to admit.

#Relateable