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Nature

by InfiniteRectangles


I love to take long walks in nature.
To feel the breeze on my sun-kissed skin.
To hear the birds singing merrily in the distance
Does calm the soul within.

I love to see little caterpillars
And ladybugs crawling on the leaves.
To take in the sweet fragrance of the flowers
Providing pollen for the bees.

As I make my way down this wooded path,
As I watch the plants and animals thrive,
I send a prayer up to Heaven
Thanking God that I'm alive.


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29 Reviews


Points: 103
Reviews: 29

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Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:26 am
deleted1967 wrote a review...



Dear InfiniteRectangles,

Hi! My name is Bailey! I just wanted to say that this is a beautifully written poem! I don't find myself reading a lot of rhymed poems on YWS that flow so smoothly.

(I don't know how to take quotes from the page as other reviewers do so please, bare with me.)

In the 2nd line, I don't know why but I love the description "sun-kissed." I'm not exactly sure why I love it, but it's such a warm and cozy descriptive compound to use.

Though, the 3rd and 4th lines in the poem seemed to be a little choppy how they transition. I paused between the two lines when reading the poem aloud because I assumed that it would be two separate sentences, and I had to pause after reading the 4th line just because it sounded weird. Though, it took me only a short second to know what you meant, so it's not THAT big of an issue.

The 2nd paragraph or stanza, whatever the proper word is, sounded quite beautiful. It was filled with imagery, though I did hear myself trying to replace "little" with "baby," but that could just be me. ':)

The third paragraph/stanza was also really nice. Though I wonder if it would sound better "Thanking God that I AM alive" instead of I'm, but then again that could just be me.

All in all, it's a beautifully written poem. I found it very interesting, and the imagery was astounding, I really felt that I could feel the breeze, and the jungle-ish setting as if on a boardwalk. It was very beautiful. If only I could be in a scene like that XD. I really enjoyed it, and I'll continue to look for your work in the green room!!!

Have a good day/night (whichever applies to your time zone XD)!

Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw.




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1080 Reviews


Points: 125
Reviews: 1080

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Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:42 pm
Kaylaa wrote a review...



Hi there InfiniteRectangles. This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

I believe that I've reviewed your poetry somewhat recently, just not this one. Let's fix that problem. With that being said, let's delve right in. I enjoy seeing poems that are twelve lines long. Four lines and three stanzas is a nice balance and length for a minimalist poem. I can see that the rhyme scheme here is -A-A and stays that way for the whole piece. I wanted to ask--why not have the first and third lines of each stanza rhyme? Why not ABAB if you're going to do a rhyme scheme akin to this.

I'm asking because I wanted to hear your reasoning on using rhyme (not that I mind this time around). I'll get this out of the way--this is cute. That's how I feel about this for the most part. With saying that, I also wanted to say that this doesn't do much more than that for me? It's a poem about nature and there isn't much more there. The theme is straightforward and the imagery is crystal clear on what it's attempting to convey. This is a surface-level poem. No tricks. No figurative language. The poem says what it means.

I'm fine with that, but I wanted to make that aware that the subject matter is nature...and this doesn't go all that much farther than that. What I find more important about a certain subject matter is how the speaker feels about the subject matter. Their views. We can see that in this, the speaker is grateful for nature. That might change in a different poem where the speaker is talking about nature but in a negative connotation.

Overall, is this poem simple? Yes. Is this poem effective? Sure. Doesn't bring any fresh ideas to the table and instead the themes are a little overdone, but this is still executed well enough to be interesting. Nothing wrong with this poem, there's just nothing absolutely spectacular that made me cry or blew my mind here, which is okay.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Image

Image




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12 Reviews


Points: 107
Reviews: 12

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Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:45 pm
Tylexie wrote a review...



This is really nice poem! It conveys a very peaceful, happy vibe, and it's something I would read when I'm stressed out.

The first stanza conveys calm, as well as setting the scene in a place where human worries could just melt away.

The second stanza shows the beauty of all the tiniest details and parts of life and nature, as well as how they interconnect. Your mention of little caterpillars and ladybugs makes me appreciate the tiny joys in life, and the reference to the flowers providing pollen for the bees shows how the flowers depend on the bees, as well as the other way around. Referencing pollen instead of nectar was also clever, as it showed that it wasn't only the bees depending on the flowers but the flowers depending on the bees.

The last stanza conveys thankfulness, making me really appreciate the beauty of life and the fact that I can actually be part of something so complex, intricate and beautiful as life.

Great poem!






Thank you so much for the review and for your kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)




"Do not try to be pretty. You weren't meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don't let anyone ever simplify you to just 'pretty'"
— Unknown