Dear InfiniteRectangles,
Hi! My name is Bailey! I just wanted to say that this is a beautifully written poem! I don't find myself reading a lot of rhymed poems on YWS that flow so smoothly.
(I don't know how to take quotes from the page as other reviewers do so please, bare with me.)
In the 2nd line, I don't know why but I love the description "sun-kissed." I'm not exactly sure why I love it, but it's such a warm and cozy descriptive compound to use.
Though, the 3rd and 4th lines in the poem seemed to be a little choppy how they transition. I paused between the two lines when reading the poem aloud because I assumed that it would be two separate sentences, and I had to pause after reading the 4th line just because it sounded weird. Though, it took me only a short second to know what you meant, so it's not THAT big of an issue.
The 2nd paragraph or stanza, whatever the proper word is, sounded quite beautiful. It was filled with imagery, though I did hear myself trying to replace "little" with "baby," but that could just be me. ':)
The third paragraph/stanza was also really nice. Though I wonder if it would sound better "Thanking God that I AM alive" instead of I'm, but then again that could just be me.
All in all, it's a beautifully written poem. I found it very interesting, and the imagery was astounding, I really felt that I could feel the breeze, and the jungle-ish setting as if on a boardwalk. It was very beautiful. If only I could be in a scene like that XD. I really enjoyed it, and I'll continue to look for your work in the green room!!!
Have a good day/night (whichever applies to your time zone XD)!
Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw.
Points: 103
Reviews: 29
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