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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 4.1

by ExOmelas


For the three days leading up to the banquet, Buck spent most of his time with Rydone and Misene, whom he’d recruited to help him find poets who were just sedate enough to settle Erson’s nerves, but not so slow they’d put the entire Resadorian audience to sleep. Unfortunately, there weren’t many poets in Resador city who didn’t patter out their lines at ninety words per minute. Fortunately, however, that meant there were so few candidates to choose between that they were able to hire everyone who auditioned.

“Again, thank you so much for this opportunity,” said a tall young woman with light brown skin and round golden spectacles. She wore a neat cream coloured dress and had some matching beads in her hair.

“You’re very welcome… Ronune,” Buck said, finding her name on the list he’d made up that morning. It was now little more than an hour until the banquet, and he’d set up a small folding table in the middle of the palace courtyard. He picked up a five of spades playing card with the palace crest on the back and handed it to her. “This means you’re fifth up. When it’s your turn to go, hand that to any one of me, my two friends here, or the nearest guard in palace uniform – they’re the ones on duty.”

“Of course, yes. Thank you so much,” Ronune said. She curtsied, then headed off towards the flow of people going through the palace’s main doors.

“That’s the third one that’s been falling at your feet, Buck,” Rydone said. She tried to lean back in her chair but the thin wooden leg caught in the cobblestones and she almost fell backwards into a fountain.

“She’s right,” Misene said as she regained her balance. He was on Buck’s other side. He squinted at Buck. “What have you been promising?”

Buck spread his hands wide. “It’s not my fault! Most of these poets have never been chosen to perform at court before so they’re all really excited.”

Misene scratched the top of his head. “Isn’t the line-up entirely down to you?”

“That is true,” Buck said. “Um… it’s not my fault they’re terrible?”

“They’re not terrible,” Rydone said, “You just have no patience for slower rhythm.”

Misene chuckled. “Sorry, mate, but she’s right again. You’re not known for your patience.”

“Exactly!” Rydone exclaimed. Buck whirled around to face her. He’d been turning back and forth between the two of them for most of the conversation. Rydone added, “You’ll probably have proposed marriage to Erson on Pires’s behalf before you’re on stage thirty seconds.”

“Shh!” Buck hissed. “Be quiet about that. Pires says it won’t work if we go in too recklessly, so we have to be subtle.”

“Okay, okay,” Rydone said, resting her chin on her hand.

“To be fair,” Misene said, “If I was Pires, I don’t think I’d have been able to hold myself back this whole week.”

Buck scoffed. “I’m sure Croline would love that.”

“Pfft, he would understand,” Misene said, batting at the air with one hand. “We’ve been arguing over Erson all week.”

“I think that’s kind of the point,” Buck said. “I guess generally the idea is to not seem like another screaming devotee.”

They had to stop as another poet approached the table. He was the last to sign in so once he was gone they packed up and followed the increasingly bottle-necked crowd inside. The crowd parted to let Buck through first to the main hall – his pastel version of the blue and yellow cloak over dark green sparkly doublet and trousers announced loudly who he was. The main hall was straight through the foyer, directly under the large meeting hall, and got its light from a massive circular stained glass window on the far side.

“Buck! Bucket!” called a voice as they entered the room.

Buck looked up at the stage, on the right-hand side. Victane waved at him from where he was helping to set up some ribbon wall-hangings. A moment later he hurried down the steps at the side of the stage and made his way through the crowd to meet them.

"Um, hi," Buck said.

"Oh, Buck, you should have seen it," Victane said, clapping his hand on top of Buck's shoulder. "Rydone, Misene, hello. You wouldn't believe how close we were to cancelling the whole thing!"

"In the last half hour?" Buck said.

"Well, see, it turns out Queen Merhen was giving noncommittal answers to Erson these past three days and he was bluffing to Pires that she'd said yes, you know, thinking he could convince her. But then today she's on her way to her private dining room as usual and Erson finally comes clean," Victane said. Buck wasn't sure if his tone was hushed so the citizens filing in wouldn't hear him, or if he'd been genuinely panicked by this turn of events.

"Wait, the Queen's not coming?" Buck asked, absentmindedly waving goodbye to Rydone and Misene who went to take up their stations.

"Well, she wasn't," Victane said, "But then I got an idea."

"An idea?"

"Oh, yes. I wrangled Hilene and Ordune and we went and started a serious cleaning job on the private dining room. When the queen comes by, we tell her there's been a cleaning scheduled since this room isn't used to being used so intensely, but that it'll be good as knew tomorrow," Victane said.

"So... everything's fine?"

"Oh, yes." Victane beamed. "But I've never thought so fast in my life! You'd have been so proud, my young friend."

Buck smiled and patted Victane's hand on his shoulder. "I am indeed extremely proud. Thank you so much for covering for me."

Victane nodded. "You are of course welcome. Well, get to it. You have a banquet to host!"

Buck nodded and straightened his cloak, repositioning the red brooch at the centre of his collarbone. He padded around the edge of the room, jogged up the steps, then took his place at the front of the stage. Below him, there were rows and rows of benches, all tightly packed with Resadorian citizens who’d queued overnight to sign up for admission. At the opposite end of the hall, the left if you were looking in from the entrance, was a raised dais similar to the one in the meeting hall. But this one was populated by armchairs and sofas of all different colours, sizes and textures.

“Welcome, everyone, to a very special night. We have in audience the revered Queen Merhen, along with her son the beloved Prince Erson, and of course the very lucky Duchess Pires, who gets to sit with them all night!” Buck left a pause for a laugh from the crowd. Pires and Erson sat on a long blue sofa together with the queen in a dark red wingback chair to Erson’s right. Pires would certainly be having at least an eventful time with her driving companions, if not a strictly enjoyable one. “Well then, keep an eye out for the buffet popping up to your left but for now sit back – though not too far on those benches. Resador City Palace presents: ‘A Night of Recitation and Relaxation’.”

Buck sidled off to the back of the stage to make way for the first poet and harpist. Set to quiet, hypnotic music, the poet’s verses about rolling plains were actually rather pleasing – soothing, Buck might have said if pushed. For every poet he announced, there was an increasingly warmer air in the room, and the low level of chatter eventually petered out. When they broke for an interval after the sixth poet was finished, almost all the crowd rose sleepily to their feet, stretched, then sat straight back down again.

Erson and Pires had moved closer together as the evening went on, which Buck figured was a good sign. They were both leaning back against the couch cushions, though not against each other. Every so often one or the other seemed to direct a comment towards Merhen, which often led to all three sharing a laugh. Buck was unsure whether that was a good or bad sign. He didn’t have much time to think though, as Erson had stood up and was crossing to the side of the dais.

Buck kept watching him as he stood at the long table under the stained glass window, but all he did was pick up some battered vegetable snacks and put them in a bowl made of thin metal. He looked up at Buck and smiled, waving him down.

Buck was supposed to be starting his own clam, slow poem soon – but who was he to ignore a direct order from the prince? He hurried down the steps and walked as fast as he could up to the prince.

“Good evening, Bucket,” Erson said.

“Good evenng, your grace,” Buck said.

“I feel I owe you some thanks,” Erson said, taking some cutlery from the table. “Sometimes I need a push to have a really great night.”

Buck had to stop himself from fist-pumping. “Of course, your grace! I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“We should have a chat tomorrow,” Erson said, “I’d like to hear more about how you put these things together.”

Inwardly, Buck danced from foot to foot. “I would love that, your grace.”

“Wonderful,” Erson said. “Well, I better let you get on with it. You’re up next, I believe?”

“Indeed, your grace. I’m going to be… reading poetry.” Buck thought for a moment. “Would you hate it if I accidentally broke into song at some point?”

Erson paused with his food halfway to his mouth. He frowned for long enough to make Buck’s stomach tense, but then winked and said, “I think that might be quite alright.”

“Fantastic!” Buck exclaimed, whirling around and bounding off before he even remembered to add a ‘your grace’. Perhaps he could have some fun with this after all.


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Tue Jun 23, 2020 6:46 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

And we begin the fourth chaper.

First Impression: That was a very well executed feast. The subtle humor is on point in this one too.

Anyway let's get right to it,

For the three days leading up to the banquet, Buck spent most of his time with Rydone and Misene, whom he’d recruited to help him find poets who were just sedate enough to settle Erson’s nerves, but not so slow they’d put the entire Resadorian audience to sleep. Unfortunately, there weren’t many poets in Resador city who didn’t patter out their lines at ninety words per minute. Fortunately, however, that meant there were so few candidates to choose between that they were able to hire everyone who auditioned.


Well that's a lot of poetry to listen to for Buck.

Misene scratched the top of his head. “Isn’t the line-up entirely down to you?”

“That is true,” Buck said. “Um… it’s not my fault they’re terrible?”


This feels a little forced like it's being said only for the reader's benefit.

“Exactly!” Rydone exclaimed. Buck whirled around to face her. He’d been turning back and forth between the two of them for most of the conversation. Rydone added, “You’ll probably have proposed marriage to Erson on Pires’s behalf before you’re on stage thirty seconds.”


This was a little bit repetitive. You mention that h is not slow three times in a row.

He was the last to sign in so once he was gone they packed up and followed the increasingly bottle-necked crowd inside.


This sentence reads a little awkwardly. I think it would be better as two sentences.

Buck nodded and straightened his cloak, repositioning the red brooch at the centre of his collarbone. He padded around the edge of the room, jogged up the steps, then took his place at the front of the stage. Below him, there were rows and rows of benches, all tightly packed with Resadorian citizens who’d queued overnight to sign up for admission. At the opposite end of the hall, the left if you were looking in from the entrance, was a raised dais similar to the one in the meeting hall. But this one was populated by armchairs and sofas of all different colours, sizes and textures.


A good description to establish the setting there.

For every poet he announced, there was an increasingly warmer air in the room, and the low level of chatter eventually petered out. When they broke for an interval after the sixth poet was finished, almost all the crowd rose sleepily to their feet, stretched, then sat straight back down again.


This is a pretty great description. Sounds exactly like what would happen in such a situation.

“Good evenng, your grace,” Buck said.


I think you missed an i in that.

Erson paused with his food halfway to his mouth. He frowned for long enough to make Buck’s stomach tense, but then winked and said, “I think that might be quite alright.”

“Fantastic!” Buck exclaimed, whirling around and bounding off before he even remembered to add a ‘your grace’. Perhaps he could have some fun with this after all.


Going to be an interesting chapter to follow.

And that's it for this one.

Overall: Great description of the banquet though the setup to it seemed a little rushed but that's not a huge issue. And nice little ending there. I have a feeling this last poem is going to get very interesting.

As always take what you think will help and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun Jan 26, 2020 7:47 pm
Necromancer14 wrote a review...



Okay, so this chapter was fun to read. Buck seems like an interesting character, and I kinda like him, though I don't have much of a taste for poetry.

so here's my review:

"“She’s right,” Misene said as she regained her balance. He was on Buck’s other side."

This reads like Misene was the person who regained his balance. The only teller is that you said "she" instead of "he." You should've wrote something more like: "said Misene, who was on Buck's other side. Rydone finished regaining her balance by now." Or something along those lines.

"and of course the very lucky Duchess Pires, who gets to sit with them all night!”"

Hilarious.

"almost all the crowd rose sleepily to their feet, stretched, then sat straight back down again."

Yep. Very accurate. Exactly what I would do if listening to poetry.

"Inwardly, Buck danced from foot to foot. “I would love that, your grace.”"

You can definitely feel Buck's adrenaline here.

"“Fantastic!” Buck exclaimed, whirling around and bounding off"

"Fantastic!" Hm. for some reason this reminded me of Doctor Who... I wonder why. ;)

Anyway, you have clean writing, with few if any grammatical errors. I always like reading your well-written dialogue.

Anyway, that's my review! I hope it was helpful.




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Sun Jan 26, 2020 7:37 pm
Brigadier wrote a review...



Image


So with a few more details, the story makes a little bit more sense to me but I'm still stuck in a rut. I know that the banquet has some sort of relation to the theoretical engagement between Erson and Pires. The inclusion of the poetry is leaving me questioning the purpose for having all of the poets, but I know it has something to do with one party trying to propose to the other. And then the queen is all wrapped up in it?

Erson doesn't seem to be a very trustworthy person to me? Perhaps that's all part of your character design where he goes from insulting a servant to thanking them for their organization ability. And then the series of lies about the status of the queen left me a little bit puzzled? I re-read the section a couple of times where the one servant was explaining how they would convince the queen to come to the banquet.

Another thing I was confused about by the other servants was the conversation about picking out the poets. I couldn't tell exactly who was saying what to who even with the dialogue tags that were in place. For a three person conversation, it was structured more like two people having a one on one conversation, and the issue just spiraled very quickly.

I am intrigued to see what kind of poem/song that Buck comes up with. Erson shifted back to looking down at the servants when Bucket (who appears to be some sort of jester) suggested that his performance might be his job? So I'm overall just very distrusting of many of your characters, but still want to see where it all goes.

So happy review day again.
- Jack <3




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Wed Nov 20, 2019 1:57 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



OH NO. XD OH NO, BUCK. oh no, buck, what are you going to do. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BUCKET.

The way this segment ended was so freaking good. It's a classic LIFE-IS-GOOD end that hints at the near GUARANTEE OF DISASTER IN THE NEAR FUTURE. But I had such good feelings, and that is awesome. Especially toward Erson who omg winked at him why am I such a sucker for winking princes.

I also laughed aloud when Erson called Buck down to say the night was going extremely well and was curious how he planned it all because CLEARLY Buck looking for the most boring of entertainers is probably not worth bragging about. XD Being left with this feeling of happiness, everything being okay, success -- this really sets it up well for things to no longer go so smoothly and I'M ALREADY NERVOUS. BUCK, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO.

I've a feeling you might already know of this because it feels like an LMS/nano or rushed kind of thing to do, but the transition to the show actually starting was a bit off kilter. At one point, Victane was hanging up wall decorations, and then suddenly Buck was starting the show. In my head, I figured hanging decorations implied people weren't actually there yet, so the show suddenly started seemed to forget a small timeskip or at least gloss over the idea of the house filling up with people.

Seeing his two friends here was a good thing, I think, as brief as it was. We got some insight into how the three of them work well together, namely Buck not appreciating the art of poetry while his friends have at least some understanding of the art. I still get the two of them mixed up a bit, admittedly, so hopefully we see more of them and get a better understanding of who they are or what their purpose will be (of course, I'm also not reading this all at once, so the time between reads may be playing a trick with my memory).

I also giggled at the idea that they had such few poets to turn up for the auditions that Buck just hired them all. That was golden. I wonder if that means with low entertainment comes a shorter dinner party, like they have to wait for food because entertainment hour wasn't filled up yet. Doesn't really matter but it DOES MAKE ME WONDER.

This was really just so enjoyable to read overall, though. You did a well enough job making this party feel like a feels-good party, and I felt so good about Erson (*swoons over winking face*) and then IMMEDIATELY FELT NERVOUS WITH BUCKET. OH NO, BUCK. OH NO.




ExOmelas says...


Hehe yeah you're probably right about the Victane thing being a LMS thing. It's also a thing I do where I forget about logic and write what sounds best to me instinctively, which in this case was Victane getting back to going about his business. I'm sure he could get some ushering done or something. And yeah, I was nervous about the pacing and wanted to get to Buck starting the show so I probably didn't do that transition as smoothly as I could.

Rydone and Misene, the general idea is that Rydone is excitable and Misene is calmer. Idk how well that's coming across but they're basically there to provide emotional stakes at the moment and to make Buck's life seem real (ie that he has friends and isn't just solely driven by the plot of the story). You'll probably see what I mean by emotional stakes soon...
BWAHAHAHA

Thanks for the review ^.^



ExOmelas says...


oh also, does Erson winking seem to you like him flirting with Buck at all? I'm nervous I've had him refer to Buck as "young man" enough that he sounds like twenty years older. He's about five years older, halfway in between Buck and Pires - he's just really patronising xD



JabberHut says...


IS SOMEONE GOING TO DIE PLEASE GOD NO

Okay, yeah! That's the general gist of what I"m getting for Rydone and Misene, so at least I'm getting that much. And they are supportive generally as we've seen in the bar scene and here with the auditions, so they're playing their part, however small or brief it may seem. PLEASE DON'T KILL THEM OMF--

I... did not get the impression he was flirting, but I also didn't think there was a big age gap to begin with. I just figured Erson was, like. full of himself, maybe even warming up to Buck as this was Erson's way of giving Buck his approval in a mature-playful kind of way. I didn't really take it as anything other than that, though. (Winking always makes me giddy personally idk why can i keep him tho.)



ExOmelas says...


Okay fair yeah I just changed grinning to winking at the last moment thinking it might be more explicit... for reasons...

Hehehe maybe I should always threaten the lives of my characters and that%u2019ll get people coming back xD



JabberHut says...


REASONS, YOU SAY?? *waggles eyebrows*




“Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents!”
— Little Women