I should know how to navigate
my mind by now, where not to go.
I should know how to compensate
for the darkness, before it grows.
I should know how to operate
when all is turning upside down.
I should know not to suffocate
after all the times I’ve drowned.
You’d think I’d know not to gravitate
to the pain and the fear that kills me.
You’d think I’d know to retaliate,
but I’m a slave to the monster within me.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Amazing friend... The poem is beautiful and holds great meaning..
I liked it dear. It shows one situation where we regret thing we shouldn't do. It's simple and easy to understand. I wish i could write one like this too... .i like it all but if u can show some hope in the last sentences it would be great.
Great work
Thank you!!
Wow, this poem is beautiful and a mood.
Thanks
I actually like this concept quite a bit. It seems like the theme is an analysis of a person who feels regret about everything they should have been doing; but they realize that they are the source of what is bad in their own life. Kind of a self-fullfilling prophecy going on where they know the source of the problem but can not avoid it.
The one thing this poem lacks is any sort of specifity. The metaphorical moves are nice - with the sufgocation and moster deal, but I don't have any sense of what issue this person is facing it just feels like commentary around but not about the issue.
Overall, loved the flow abd simplicity of the piece - just a little more specific depth would be great.
-alliyah
Thanks for the helpful review & suggestion!
hey writer
I must say that you have put great efforts in keeping all the thoughts in right place.
I just wanna give you a little suggestion, though you have written beautiful piece of work but I felt that it was going more and more negative as I was reaching end. I believe that writing positive ending gives the urge to the reader, to read more. I can be wrong but this is just my opinion. I must say that you wrote great poem. please keep writing more, will be waiting to see your works soon.
KEEP SMILING
THANK YOU
Thanks for the review! The poem was meant to communicate the character's hopelessness, but your opinion is definitely helpful- I'll be sure to consider adding some positivity in the future