Winds rip at my hair and let lose a strand,
And I pull my scarf to my face.
Couples walk past me hand in hand,
In their eyes romantic grace
I feel my own hand, limp at my side,
My fingers twitch for something to hold them.
My eyes sting from the wind against my stride,
...Or perhaps from the loneliness instead.
A snowflake settles on my gloved hand’s palm,
Only to melt away.
I hear familiar notes, hidden in the season's songs,
Summoning memories of last Christmas Day.
Every note and every beat,
Bring the the memories to me,
And as the lyrics repeat,
So do past Christmas memories.
Snowflakes get caught in my wind-tousled tresses,
And a wind wisps aside an unruly strand.
My disregard to this expresses
The solemnity of my state of mind.
Is there a place on Christmas Day
For those with broken hearted spirits?
Do we just wander through the fogs and pray
That next year won't be spent without those we hold dearest?
The crunch of the frost beneath my snow-soaked shoes
Has become a beat to my mind,
One memory comes as another I lose,
Memories coming and going like time.
The contrast of this year and the last,
The memories made and in making,
Brings a pang to my heart for the beauty of the past
Against the pain of my heart as it's breaking.
My vision is blurred and the light is smeared,
And it is then that I realize
That my lashes are heavy with tears,
Fogging my clouded eyes.
And I hope that no one can see or tell
That the tears aren't from the wind, this time.
Vaguely am I aware that I'm losing myself
As I have Christmas, with me, myself, and I.