I stand before a mess of things,
A broken life and a dying heart,
I sit before an array of strings,
Tangled and cut and falling apart.
-----
I take my needle and try
To sew up these broken pieces,
To tie the strings and find the why,
I search for the how’s and the reasons.
-----
I pick up a string and it frays in my hands,
I brush the dust from the crumbling threads,
I collect the tangled strands,
But powder appears in their stead.
-----
I try again and again without break,
Try to tie up the ends of the strings,
But they crumble each time into flakes,
I can’t fix or sew up these seams.
-----
I know if I finished tying the strings,
If I succeeded in sewing up these pieces,
If I fixed all of these things,
I would finally find the reasons.
-----
So hand me a needle and thread,
For I can't move on until I know the reasons,
I'll work at this until my death,
Until them I'll live in this prison.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hi,
I'm back to review your poem. I missed your poems. ^_^
Hmm, this piece is much more better than your first one. I can see your improvements by each of your works. I'll take an example by comparing this poem and your earliest one, Drowning because I see them under one same topic roof. You are getting clever at getting fresh and good images, thus reducing the cliche-ness and overused things. Congrats to you.
Honestly, I love this poem. And because I love, I'll tear this apart. (Forgive me in advance.)
***
The thing I really hate about this poem is that you are repeating things over and over again. You aren't trying to use various techniques or more specifically, more varied sentence-structures. This is not a short story and I know repetition is a good thing to have in poem, but you're making me bored. Don't be mistaken, I love the ideas here, but the way you conveyed the ideas are a little bit rusty. I'm sorry if you don't get what I mean here. However, do you notice that you're using the same words in cycle like I already know that "I" is doing the thing here, so you shouldn't repeat "I" in every line. It hurts my eyes.
Overusing "I" is a little acceptable, but using the same verbs would make this poem seems dense. Verbs are a wonderful tool to show us images of what the person in the poem or story is doing, so if you are using the same verbs, meaning that you are showing us the same images over and over.
I'll stop about repetition now. I'll go by stanzas now and try to comment my thoughts on them.
I & II
I particularly love the first image you provide. For an opening, it's quite engaging and provoking and strong start. I can feel what's to be in that position.
And another thing I would like to touch is your punctuation. It's quite not interesting (and repeating). And I can't help but notice your line-breaks are off, so this poem is a little hard to read. This is easy thing to fix. Try reading it out loud and then scribble some notes on where it's supposedly to break and form a new line.
III & IV
I don't really like this two stanzas. It can just be skipped and be told in one line. Sorry if this hurts you.
V & VI
I really like the last stanza. It makes me feel so sympathized with the person that's trapped there. Good job at making this out. Honestly, when I reread this, I just feel that this poem is just so quiet and empty. Try filling this poem, okay? This poem feels so incomplete. I feel there are many things you can tell us, but then it has already ended.
***
Overall, try to avoid repetition and add more values. You can just reread this and erase what needs to be erased and add what needs to be added.
Keep writing, I love your works. Your works deserve to be better. ^_^
~memo
Thanks again for another helpful review! And don't apologize for tearing it apart--if I didn't want hardcore advice I wouldn't post it on YWS xD
And please forgive me too
P) if you found this review somewhat confusing. And of course, you're welcome! 
To start, I love the rhyme scheme that you used. I like how it varied each stanza, yet followed a similar pattern and included slant rhymes. At the end, though, the rhyme seems to scatter of track a bit. Your grammar and punctuation is very good in this poem. The poem focuses on one area very well and is easy to understand. Overall, this is a very good and well-crafted poem, good work.
Hey hey!
How are you? Ready for a review?
I'm going out on a limb here, but I think this poem represents someone that was, wait for it, FRAMED!
Okay, so he's in jail, and he knows some things, but not the whole story, and he's not sure himself if he did it? If maybe he got drunk and killed someone? But he knows things don't add up, so he's trying to "tie things up" and maybe that could mean relationships too, since I think he's on the death row? Might be a bit far fetched...
As in, criticism, I can't find a lot.
one thing, is there supposed to be, two until in the second last verse? "I'll work at this until until my death," if so, is that a hidden meaning? Does this person maybe have alzheimer? So they have to say things twice? Because they do't remember they said it before?
You will probably think I'm crazing after reading this....Maybe I am.
Overall: FUN POEM! i liked reading it very quickly! It's very smooth and strong. Well done!
Love,
Lau.
I like your interpretations! I have my own meaning for it myself, but I left it up to the reader, so they can hear what the poem is telling them, not what I'm telling them. Very helpful review and thx f9r the encouragement and thx for the suggestion lol the double "until" was an accident... I'll fix that!