I close my eyes and block my ears
from my heartbeat that echoes in silence.
I draw my knees to my face of tears
and my arms wrap around them securely.
I envision a place much safer than here—
a place without monsters that speak twisted truths.
I picture a room with no doors to hide fears,
no windows or closets to kindle my dread.
The room’s dimly lit, the lighting is drear,
just dark enough to hide the bruises and the scars.
The furniture bears stains that speak of many years
and the ground is ugly carpet, the walls that of a cabin.
But most of all here I am alone, and the demons disappear—
their screams and threats evaporate, no trace is left behind.
Their faces are allowed no entrance here,
for this is my safe place.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hiya! I’m reviewing! Okay, I want to start off by saying, this piece is really meaningful, from what I see. I think a lot of people could probably relate to this brilliant thought out poem. But there’s only one thing I thought was a little weird. You kept rhyming every other rhyme with “ears” and you didn’t rhyme the other lines with anything. I think this kinda threw me off a little, if that makes sense. You don’t have to change them if you want, just a suggestion! Aside from the awkward rhymes, I think that the word choices you chose really brought this poem to life. And I think your poem might be my safe place, ahahaha. Anyways, you should continue writing poems, because I can see you coming up with some great works! Well anyways overall nice poem.
Thanks so much for the helpful review! I admit the rhyme scheme is a bit strange, o0ps. Thanks for the encouragement though, I appreciate it!
heyooo
i hope you're doing just well! i'm here for a review
let me just tell you that your poem describes well the lonliness felt by people sometimes, when they want to be at their personal space and their secret place.
i most liked how you started and finished the poem but for the description of the "safe place"
yes you did good but the concept of a room is not "a change" and didn't seem to be that interesting ( in my opinion) i would have used something else to symbilize that one beautiful place of mine other than a room, but again it's just mon opinion.
you did great with this piece, i wish you all the best
keep writing
&smile
Thanks for the helpful review! I chose the "room" concept because it's my personal safe place, but I get what you mean! Thanks again
Hey, cool poem. I like the symbolism for loneliness in the prescence of others, and its totally relatable. I liked it alot, good job, and I cant wait to read more in the future. :3
Thanks!