Boredom

Hi ElvenJedi!

I must say, upon reading your title, I expected you would have written something completely unrelated to the actual feeling of being bored... (I'm not exactly sure why I thought so, but I did.) but then you blew me away with a poem I find way too relatable.

So, getting to the actual review:
Almost all of us experience boredom at some point or another, and often, we actually DO have many things to do, to write, to read, and yet we just simply feel like doing something else or nothing at all, and are left with that familiar, hollow, bored feeling. In this poem, at least taking the literal meaning, it seems like the narrator actually has nothing to do, and so, is bored. Which seems like a more rational predicament, unlike actual boredom, which is usually irrational and can easily be solved/lifted. I hope you know what I'm trying to say.
But putting that fact aside, the poem itself, the language, the formatting, the length, and examples, are perfect. It's simple, doesn't have too many layers, making it seem more like pleasurable reading rather than an intellectual exercise to try and decipher all the hidden meanings.
The tone of the poem conveys your boredom perfectly, and if you wanted to show the yearning for past joys that elude you now, then spot on, you certainly managed that.
Another little thing I really liked is the verb 'pulsing' attached to 'quietness'. At first glance it seems odd that something that is so calm, and literally, quiet, should be violently/urgently pulsing through your body. But on second thought, it's a kind of genius way of putting it, because quietness is the fuel to the fire of boredom. But erm, I think quiet in itself is a noun, and doesn't need a 'ness'. So when you're so bored, the quiet really is aggressively pulsing through your body, and you wish it would slow down it's pace. At least, I certainly do.
Overall, great job on a beautiful simple poem, one that is all too relatable and all too enjoyable at the same time.

Sadie

Hi ElvenJedi!

I must say, upon reading your title, I expected you would have written something completely unrelated to the actual feeling of being bored... (I'm not exactly sure why I thought so, but I did.) but then you blew me away with a poem I find way too relatable.

So, getting to the actual review:
Almost all of us experience boredom at some point or another, and often, we actually DO have many things to do, to write, to read, and yet we just simply feel like doing something else or nothing at all, and are left with that familiar, hollow, bored feeling. In this poem, at least taking the literal meaning, it seems like the narrator actually has nothing to do, and so, is bored. Which seems like a more rational predicament, unlike actual boredom, which is usually irrational and can easily be solved/lifted. I hope you know what I'm trying to say.
But putting that fact aside, the poem itself, the language, the formatting, the length, and examples, are perfect. It's simple, doesn't have too many layers, making it seem more like pleasurable reading rather than an intellectual exercise to try and decipher all the hidden meanings.
The tone of the poem conveys your boredom perfectly, and if you wanted to show the yearning for past joys that elude you now, then spot on, you certainly managed that.
Another little thing I really liked is the verb 'pulsing' attached to 'quietness'. At first glance it seems odd that something that is so calm, and literally, quiet, should be violently/urgently pulsing through your body. But on second thought, it's a kind of genius way of putting it, because quietness is the fuel to the fire of boredom. But erm, I think quiet in itself is a noun, and doesn't need a 'ness'. So when you're so bored, the quiet really is aggressively pulsing through your body, and you wish it would slow down it's pace. At least, I certainly do.
Overall, great job on a beautiful simple poem, one that is all too relatable and all too enjoyable at the same time.

Sadie

Hi ElvenJedi! Here's LadyShadows to review your work

Overall I absolutely adore this poem. It's long, but not too long, the formatting is great too, and you used lines to space out the stanzas. Nice. It suits this well. I also like the little stair step design you did at the bottom too. Now I'd also like to say that this poem is also very descriptive too. You did a good job!

However in some lines of the poem I see wordiness and some other small mistakes. I'll rewrite it to show you what can be done.

The silence echoes in a droning hum;
no pencil for my finger,
that fidget to write what I kept inside for too long.

My eyes yearn to read books I relished as a child,
my fingertips tremble for the pages,
to turn and see what happens next; one page closer to the end.

My feet ache to walk paths I used to know,
to explore trails through the woods,
to have adventures I dreamed yet never had.

But no pen or paper lie on the table.
No book upon the mantelpiece.
I know no trails that can take my feet to the past.

So I sit here and I listen to the echoing silence;
the quietness pulsing through my body,
And I know there is nothing left to do.

See how clean that is? That looks better. But keep writing. I love what you do

Hey there ElvenJedi,
Myjaspercat here again to leave another review... hope you don't mind.


Nit-Picks

[there's]no pencil for my agitated fingers

my fingertips twitching to feel the pages,

to have adventures of which I dreamed[comma] but never had.

But [there's] no pen and[or] paper lie on the table,