jane
had wide eyes, like brown buttons
clasped shut
keeping dreams and things
seamlessly closed in
like her world, and a mess of you
and him and she and he
would cloud up and fog over.
blind,
she’d be, in that moment.
just for a season, like all good
things.
and just for an autumn, she might
be okay.
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140,145 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hi,
This poem kind of reminds me of my brother. I know, I know! You're talking about a Jane, but my brother likes to do his own thing and doesn't really care what everybody else thinks. He'll zone out when we're talking about something, but when he zones in we have to explain the whole thing over again!
Oh, brother!
Anyways great job on the descriptions, they're simple but put your point across.
This was meant to be a review, but I'll just put it as a comment....
-Jadefox
I figured I would do something different and would tell you why I liked this!
I basically liked this because I think that everyone know someone like this. You'll meet someone who lives blindly in their own world (the button eye analogy, creepy or not, reminds me of Coraline... I have no idea whether this is a good thing or a bad thing) and this own world is generally a dream world of sorts. Furthermore, you realize that, to them, you are just a kind of doll. So, it's kind of a backwards look of things and it's very confusing.
I like the line about the autumn because autumn is that time of season where there is lots of transitions and you are gearing up for winter before you get frozen. It's a good thing.
Anyway, that's why I liked it. Keep writing, lovely!