for her

I love the way you write. This is beautiful and so well thought out.

My favorite lines:
"doesn’t she know she deserves better
then a hook in her lip and a rock on her shoulder
or is she so young that the taste of metal
and the heavy weight of truth only goes
to prove her self-worth"

The honesty in these lines make me feel like you are describing a past version of myself. You get your point across eloquently and make the poem very easy to read. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing this.

-Laci<3

Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. And it makes me sad to read, sad for her. I don't quite know what I am sad about. But I think that makes it even more impressive. It isn't a conscious sadness. It is a deeper emotion that I think was woven into your words. Very impressive.

You know me and poetry. Its like rocks and pudding. I mix it together and I try to digest it, and bam! I choke to death. But however, here I go. I'll be as constructive as I can.

This poem can be interpreted in over 9000 ways, so I'm just gonna touch on my thoughts of it. I know you mentioned something about writing a poem about the Earth? Is this it? Because for some odd reason that notion got stuck in my head and I couldn't shake it. It brought back my fear of the earth blowing up but what ever. You can listen to me ramble about that later.

I can't really say anything, but I know you are new to this type of poetry. The few poems I like of the few poems I read, I tend to like the ones that have a key point of imagery throughout the piece. It allows the reader to keep on the theme and it just makes it seem more fluent and less all over the place. In this you kind of started to do that with talking about metals and gem-stones, really earthy things, but you used a couple things that were related to biology and human anatomy. In my opinion, I would have stayed away from those organ images and thought of more mineral, earth kind of metaphors. It would if the poem a little bit more uniformity.

Unless of course, you were going for the earth being like human kind of thing going on. I could totalllyyy be wrong of course.

So basically, in gist, it was awesome, but in my opinion I think you should have followed the earthy imagery more closely and have more of it.

You know I'm not good at this.

You owe me Harveys now. With a chocolate milkshake.

Firstly, the 'i's. I think you did this on purpose as it was consistent? I don't really like that effect. It doesn't really add anything and as a grammar pedant it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Other then that, this was a rather lovely poem. I especially liked the first verse, and the last bit.
I don't quite understand what's going on, but I can tell you did as the writer which is enough.
I think someone who the narrator is in love with is dying and it has something to do with some sort of jewels?
Brilliant poem, anyway. I like lots.