A/N: One minor retconned alteration. Buck is not the only white guy in the city, he's just on the paler end of the skin tone spectrum there. Resador is a port city and has people from all over travelling and living there. Most are mixed race, but Buck's parents were first generation immigrants from the north. And when I say north, I may or may not mean exactly where the prince is from...
---
Buck had probably woken up hungover under half the tables in this tavern, but he hadn't noticed until tonight quite how fascinating the grooves and scrapes on the surface of this one were. Well, that was what he told himself as he stared down at it and did his best not to make eye contact with either of the friends he was drinking with. Fortunately, the two of them were in the middle of a raging argument about how handsome the prince actually was.
"His fringe parts in the middle!" Rydone exclaimed.
Misene snorted. "That portrait was a mess. It also gave him a double chin."
There was a moment of silence, then Rydone waved her hand under his nose and snapped her fingers. "Well?"
Buck's neck clicked as he looked up. Rydone was frowning, but her eyes seemed to be scanning his face rather than glaring at Misene as if she'd been really invested in the argument.
"Oh... sorry," Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm a bit distracted at the moment."
"Are you okay?" Misene asked.
Buck looked to his left to meet his eyes and give him a small smile. "Yeah... I'm alright. Now! The prince!" Buck forced his muscles into a grin and looked back round at Rydone. "His hair does part in the middle, but in a good way. It sort of flows down both shoulders equally, very precisely. I don't know if you've ever pictured an elven scholar who might manage the affairs of a prominent organisation-"
"Actually I have," Misene said. He was a muscular man with short, close-curled black hair and dark bronze skin. His olive green eyes were wide. "Honestly had a dream about that the other night."
"Ew!" Rydone squirmed. Rydone was skinny, with olive skin and reddish-brown hair. She wrapped her arms right around her back and shrank away, shaking her head. "We do not need to hear about your dreams."
"Not like that! There was also a dwarven master of ceremonies who tapped the wine glass with a hammer and got everyone's attention with the loud smashing sound that resulted," Misene explained.
"Ah, so you've been spending too much time with Bucket then." Rydone leaned back and folded her arms.
"Huh?" Buck asked.
"It does sound a bit like a court you might put together," Misene agreed.
"Oh, yeah," Buck said. The boy currently performing at the far side of the room, Rydone's little brother, played a particularly erroneous note on his violin and Buck flinched. "Sorry, still out of it I guess."
Rydone had turned away and seemed to be mouthing something to her brother. His eyes were screwed up tight and he was playing his little heart out, but the truth was it hadn’t been going well for much of the performance.
Misene squeezed Buck’s arm and said, "That's okay. You sure you don't want to talk about it?"
“Yes, I’m sure. Dwelling on it isn’t going to help. Hasn’t helped for the last thirteen years,” Buck said. He pursed his lips and tried to think of something else to say.
“I also heard Prince Erson is opposing the war in the east,” Misene said, his voice slightly high pitched as if the new conversation topic was a question, or an offering. “Which is fair enough. It’s political alliance games of the highest order. But that’s never stopped his mother.”
“Yes, well, we all know how he feels about his mother!” Rydone chuckled. “I wonder if maybe he’s just going to be a calmer, more peaceful leader.”
“I hope not,” Buck mumbled, “For Pires’s sake at least.” He managed to stop himself before he added and my father’s.
“Um… you weren’t supposed to say that, were you?” Rydone asked.
Buck shook his head.
“You never let things slip…” Misene didn’t even ask the question this time.
Instead of answering it anyway, Buck stood up. Rydone’s little brother had just finished and the innkeeper was gesturing towards the crowd, looking for his next singer. As soon as his eyes locked onto Buck’s, he bowed, then waved Buck over. Ignoring the wide eyes of Rydone and the concerned frown of Misene, Buck picked up his bucket from under his chair, wove his way through the tables towards the front.
The main room of the tavern was about as big as Pires’s study. Pires did have a large study, but this was still a small space to cram in so many patrons, several of whom had noticed Buck heading towards it and told all their friends. The tables had been pushed together by some of the larger parties, but they all made as much space as they could for Buck to get through. Buck gulped. He knew he was about to disappoint all their eager grins.
Because as he reached the stage and accepted the lute from the outstretched arms of the innkeeper, who knew well the routine he occasionally did on his scheduled performances here, he was already reaching for the scraps of parchment sitting at the bottom of his bucket. The strange thing was that he’d felt energised the whole way home from the palace, but the moment he’d called for Simone by crushing the spice pellet it had all started to crumble. He’d found himself frenetic, scribbling the verses in atrocious handwriting in a desperate attempt to get the subject off his mind. But it hadn’t worked, and he was sure talking wouldn’t help either. There was only one thing for it: he would have to sing.
He squinted into the darkness and tried to make out some of the faces in the crowd, taking note of where his friends were. “Hello, everyone, sorry I’m not in much of a get-up tonight.” He’d scrubbed the blue and yellow paints of his face in the same frenzy as when he’d written the song. All he’d managed before he had to leave again was a few orange spots following his cheekbones and some swishes around his chin. He sat down on his upturned bucket and got the lute into position. “I didn’t really intend on performing tonight, you see. In fact, I didn’t have a song prepared until a few hours ago. I still don’t have a dance or a juggling act prepared. Probably not going to for this one.”
He could hear the mutters start already, but he focused on setting the pages out on the floor in front of him.
“I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to write this song, but I suppose I just didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to let myself contemplate any hope, you know? Well, you don’t. You will in a moment. Sorry, I’m usually better with words than this. But the point is, recently I’ve been forced to entertain hope, so what do I have to lose.”
He took one last look out at the crowd, choosing to focus on Rydone and Misene, who were both staring with worried frowns, Rydone biting her lip. Rydone’s brother had gone to join them and had his hands up in front of his face as if he was praying. Buck doubted he was, but he’d take any help he could get.
“Well, I hope you like it. It’s called 'The Lay of a Lost Father'.”
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
Continuing rapid review rampage.
First Impression: We get to see the other side of Buck so some good character development. I'm loving him as a main character so far. And a nice little cliffhanger.
This is nice backstory building there.
Nice of the patrons to allow him to continue playing. Or do they just have that much of a shortage of players?
Once again I love the way you develop Buck's character through little insights like this that are not on the nose but do the job nicely.
Okay this seems a bit like too much information crammed into one paragraph. I'd suggest that you break this into two parts starting the second part from "I don't really..."
Really nice ending. Great little cliffhanger for the readers.
And that's it for this chapter.
Overall: As I said above really good as it shows Buck as a proper three dimensional character. Great job on making him very likable.
I'm afraid this one is a little short but there really wasn't much to point out here. It was very well written. As always take what you think will help and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Every time Buck opens his mouth, I fall a little more in love with his characterization. Props to you for making a character that is so likable so fast!
My favorite part was how you described how he scrubbed the paint off his face and wrote his music the night before. It's super well-done exposition, just in-depth enough to make sense without being too info-dumpy! You walked that narrow line really well, and something about it really struck me, both just the way it was written and the little insight into Buck's character. Awesome stuff!
The only criticisms I have at the moment are just two little grammar things.
At one point, you say the patrons notice "Buck heading towards it," but I wasn't sure what exactly 'it' was. The main room, maybe? Or a performing area? I would go in and just clear that up a little bit.
Then I would switch the period at the end of Buck saying "what do I have to lose" to a question mark, just to keep his uncertain tone.
But those are such little things! This section is really strong.
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!!! Keep writing!
Hey, idk if I have actually thanked you for these reviews yet but I really appreciate them! Thank you
Oh, it's totally my pleasure! I love reading what you post, so I try to be helpful since I'll be reading it no matter what! I hope I've helped, but if not I hope you know that I really like this story!
Every time Buck opens his mouth, I fall a little more in love with his characterization. Props to you for making a character that is so likable so fast!
My favorite part was how you described how he scrubbed the paint off his face and wrote his music the night before. It's super well-done exposition, just in-depth enough to make sense without being too info-dumpy! You walked that narrow line really well, and something about it really struck me, both just the way it was written and the little insight into Buck's character. Awesome stuff!
The only criticisms I have at the moment are just two little grammar things.
At one point, you say the patrons notice "Buck heading towards it," but I wasn't sure what exactly 'it' was. The main room, maybe? Or a performing area? I would go in and just clear that up a little bit.
Then I would switch the period at the end of Buck saying "what do I have to lose" to a question mark, just to keep his uncertain tone.
But those are such little things! This section is really strong.
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!!! Keep writing!
SONG TIME SONG TIME SONG TIME!
1. You really had to leave us hanging like that, huh? I see how it is. I wanna hear the song!
2. I've been struggling all week to think of something to at least discuss, but it's been tough. I agree with Jabber that this is a good look into Buck's serious side, but I also feel like I already knew it was there. It's not a new side. You've touched on it briefly in every chapter so far, and the humor in this novel is actually pretty understated for a book about a jester.
You do a really incredible job of selling Buck as a real character with emotions and depth and scary, vulnerable thoughts, but I feel like I have nothing to compare that with. It might be a little bit because we've never gotten to see a full jester routine, but I also don't get the idea that Buck is a silly or cheery character at all. He might play a funny part and be outwardly silly, but since we are privy to his thoughts, he doesn't really come across that way at all. He's serious and likes to help others--two traits that are actually very important to comedic performers, if not to comedic writing.
3. If you are trying to write a comedic story, one thing that worked well for your is the inclusion of really... unconnected but fitting details. Rydone's younger brother is amusing (though I feel bad for laughing at him) because he's completely unconnected, unfortunate (that might be the most important part), and reflective of the mood.
Idiosyncrasies and weird details in the world building are also often very funny. I think there have been a couple about the royalty thus far, and it probably wouldn't hurt to flesh things out a little more by adding in silly details where, if you saw them in real life, you'd think "hah, that's stupid" and giggle. I've done this with bathrooms. You might do it with politics. But usually this works because it takes us outside of the story (but not too far) and tells us something silly or enlightening about our own real experiences. Like miniature satire.
Admittedly, comedy is super hard and we are writing these chapters very fast, so like. No pressure to be hilarious. If you were even trying to be funny.
That's it for this chapter. Seriously, it's a very good one. I have no silly-architecture-student critiques to make, and it's a solid moment of reflection on the events of the first chapter.
Until next time!
-Buggie
hehehe song is completed for this week's entry; just have to type it up and add the rest of the chapter
I'm hoping maybe the incident with the banana vendors at the start was kind of funny? I was imagining it as like a before-credits scene that wasn't related to the story that much but just a little snapshot into what Buck gets up to (also i figured the congregation of nothing banana vendors was in itself a little absurd xD).
Yeeeah he's pretty angsty at the moment. I think he's going to be for a little while yet, but I'm hoping once he gets into plotting mode with Pires there might be some gleeful cackles while they figure out how to get him to a proper court banquet.
Thanks for the review
Good morning!!
I think it's good to see him react this way after the news in the Duchess' office. It's a lot to take in, and he doesn't seem particularly thrilled about any of it, which is even more concerning/intriguing. Buck showing concern for Pires' marriage to a boring peacetime prince is just the most adorable and personal thing ever, and his worry over his father working with the same kind of guy -- like, he's so bummed! And he doesn't know what to do! Even work isn't fun for him because he's so distracted.
Poor Buck! I really like that we get this new side of Buck now. His world seemed to upturn itself on him so suddenly, and he had such high spirits at the start of this novel!
Starting out with this discussion about the prince is actually such a good idea. We met him in the previous segment and already have some opinions about him, so seeing other opinions from third party people is just as enlightening. It's also such a fun way to get a good physical description of the prince.
Also a good way to introduce political opinions as well. It sounds like there might be a rift between the prince and his mother, and a differing of political opinion could be a huge cause for that. The prince's mother sounds very stern and authoritative and possibly aggressive politically, while the prince would just rather keep things peaceful and diplomatic. Then when you consider how energetic Pires can be, this prince really has his work cut out for him! This should be great fun.
Buck is so melancholy here that it's just so sad.
Watching the audience reflect their opinion of Buck was so fun and honestly felt very natural after seeing him perform earlier in the market, so that all really worked out well. Buck seems like really fun entertainment, so to see everyone eager for his act was just adorable and relatable.
I look forward to seeing this song of his. He's clearly worried about how it'll be viewed by the crowd and very uneasy about performing it in general when he's usually there for laughs and parties. He seemed to talk so nervously about it, which was so cute, but certainly concerning to everyone else. Knowing Buck, I like to think this song will still have his kind of humor that will promote some chuckls, but it'll just fit a very different kind of story and tone.
And I PERSONALLY LOOK FORWARD TO READING IT!
Hey, thanks so much for the review! Most of this has been exactly the reaction I was hoping for, there's just one thing that doesn't seem to have quite worked. When Buck says he hopes the prince isn't just peaceful, it's not concern about Pires having to marry someone boring, it's because she needs the prince to agree to try and intervene with the people who demanded Buck's father, which could lead to some conflict (and then the "and my father's" was like, if the prince is too unwilling to intervene there goes his main hope of getting his father back). I'm sure I can add a word or two here or there to make that clearer but like just so you know for going forward
Thanks again!
Ohhhh, that does make sense. A much more political reason that seems to fit much better in regards to rescuing his father. It was pretty vague here, but I also could have refreshed my memory on the previous segment, too, as it has been some time.
Thanks for the clarification!