This poem was very short, but it also held a very interesting power in the words you chose. At first, one might wonder the significance of these words, but the title gives it all meaning. I love how you compared this entire scene with hope, and though it is slightly vague, I can definitely see the connection.
The imagery you use here is simple, yet defined. I could imagine it all, and in my head I sort of created my own little scene to go with it. I'm sure this was your intention, as you vagueness really helped make sure that the reader interpreted this in their own way.
There's nothing I can say that might help you improve this here. I mean, I could tell you to capitalize the first letter of every sentence, but I know that must have been a choice you made, so I won't bother.
Anyway, just want to say, good job! I liked it a lot. Keep writing .
Points: 654
Reviews: 101
Donate