I was oblivious; I was obscure,
I had no meaning. I was frigid,
That's what I thought;that I was no one
And my life never took a turn.
The world hated me. They mocked me,
And made me feel no special.
I never showed off; My talent nor skill.
Everyone has one, we all know,
Until someone recognized the me.
In a matter of time and months,
My life changed completely.
I became wide-known, in places I never knew.
My writings published world-wide,
And everyone now to my side.
I didn't tie up my self-worth,
In what others believed of me.
And now everyone was awestruck,
That was it really me? The girl we used to see.
I was oblivious;I was obscure,
I had no meaning; that's what I thought.
I was frigid and that I was no one.
When my life suddenly took a turn.
-------
Don't take it seriously. I wrote it just for fun. :)
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,731 Reviews
Hi there, Buzz here to review!
Well, I quite liked your poem, you expressed how you didn't have much self worth and how it progressed positively to reach your highest self when your life took a miraculous turn. However there some improvements to be made, particularly grammatical ones.
"I was oblivious; I was obscure,
I had no meaning. I was frigid,
That's what I thought;that I was no one
And my life never took a turn"
The semi-colons here are unnecessary, you're meant to use a comma for the line breaks.
"The world hated me. They mocked me,
And made me feel no special.
I never showed off; My talent nor skill.
Everyone has one, we all know,
Until someone recognized the me."
Second, line, "no special" doesn't make sense perhaps, "not at all special"
And "the me" also doesn't make sense, try removing the word, "the" and it sounds fine and less awkward.
"In a matter of time and months,
My life changed completely.
I became wide-known, in places I never knew.
My writings published world-wide,
And everyone now to my side."
"Time and months" seems a bit off to me, isn't a month a duration of time? Maybe just time would be fine.
"wide-known" ? did you mean world-known?
"I didn't tie up my self-worth,
In what others believed of me.
And now everyone was aw-struck,
That was it really me? The girl we used to see"
*awestruck*
Overall a nice poem, hope i was of help to you.
-Buzz
Thanks.
Hello, hope you find my review informative. Firstly, a good topic to write about. Many people don't get appreciated until their talents are discovered. You have used quite a number of very nice adjectives- just the spice some poems need. Anyway, I feel that the arranging of your poem could have been better so try to make it flow more nicely. Arranging those semi- colons where they are needed can get your poem a bit more flow. Anyway, a nice poem and wish you luck with your writing
- Anshira
Thanks. Okay I will see to it.
the Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR.
No special? How about didn't make me feel special? Also, you have your semicolon smashed into off and my, and I don't understand how the last two lines connect here. Also, it should be "recognized me" with no "the" in between.
You have you semicolons smashed against words here again.
Overall I thought it was an interesting poem, and although you said it was just for fun, it is a true story that has happened to people. Nice job overall besides those small errors which should be easy to fix.
Keep it up!
Okay. Ill see to it.
But make me feel no special sounds good while writing poetry right?