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140,667 Literary Works • 673,585 Reviews
Loved the emotion. So sad yet so true to life. I felt like crying when I read it because pf it's beauty. Maybe a few words out of order but I think that gives your writing it's own quirky style. Your vocabulary and word usage is stellar. Great Job dude.
Thnkxxx
Great! I really loved the emotion and truth in this poem. You did a nice job with the flow and the vocabulary, as always, was amazing.
What I would suggest changing, however, is instead of writing "Experience shall everyone death" say "Everyone shall experience death." That makes more sense.'
My favorite line was "Rudeness towards me by the world. I had no courage to speak. To myself it was hard to mould. And the words that came out weak." Really beautiful and true
Thanks!
Hey, rbt!
I really hope this isn't an embarrassing or upsetting question, but does English happen to not be your first language? I had a really hard time following the meaning of the phrases and sentences you presented here. Words were missing all over the place and some sentences twisted to no end.
For example:
This seems like you flipped the two E words? Or maybe you were trying to flip the syntax of the sentence?
Later:
This is at odds with the verb tense in the previous line: "who knows when early one looses breath", which is a sentence with many problems in itself.
So it's very hard to understand the message of this poem, and therefore pretty hard to review it. I'd suggest trying to write it as simply as possible. Just go through a couple of sentences of Subject, Verb, Object. Put in some adjectives before nouns. Combine a couple sentences. But don't get too swept away in your thoughts, or your readers won't be able to follow you and experience what you wanted to communicate.
Please PM me to let me know if you have any comments or questions about my review.
Good luck and keep writing!
English Is Not My First Language.
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Thanks Ill Take Care Bout It.
I love how flowy your sentences are very go out made complete sense
Although I felt as though you forced your rhyming, I mean if you are going to rhyme making it make sense you get me??
Also you need to fix your punctuation but other than that it was fine . I love it
I can relate to your . Poem in many ways.
Keep writing don't stop because this is just amazing!
Looking forward to seeing more work from you!
Bye bye for now!!
Thaaaaaaank u
Hey, I feel you are easy going with your feeling and let them out in a good way.
The poem is a good reflection of your feelings but need little review.
First comes the use of punctuation, it has to be corrected in many places. You should have placed full stop in many places , even the first line as I feel that delivered complete sense.
Although rhyming done is better yet, it is enforced...turning simple sentences into complex ones.
Needs little work up yet rhyming is encouraged.
Good day.
Writing poetry allows you to make changes in the way you use punctuation , grammar and way of writing. We have full freedom of doing that cause its poetry